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Parents of ADHD Children

I need help

I have an 8 year old son who has ADHD. He is currently taking 4 mg of Intunive. My son gets really whiney and very moody. He will also get violent by throwing things,hitting and pushing. He will yell and tell me and his dad or nana to shut up. I try to remain calm. when he acts up I put him in time out for 3 min or take away his privledges. I also reward him for good behavior. At school he is good. He mostly shows ADD behavior at school and at home it is more ADHD or ODD behavior. Do any of you know any other positive ways to deal with his behavior?

Replies

U have to set boundaries rules and schedules at home. If he is displaying it at home mainly it can be that you need to evaluate the environment and might need to make changes

Posted by Anthony18Mommy on May 05, 2014 at 12:16am

We took our son to a psychologist. He was able to hlep his understand how to channel his negative energy into something positive and also helped him understand how his actions affect others. He is 12 now has ADHD and is still pretty impulsive but this really helped because he was hearing it from someone other than his parents and they are trained in that sort of thing and can help offer suggestions to you in order to figure out what works best. Best wishes I know that is a very stressful time and it seems like nothing will work. It just takes time.

Posted by Ry'sMom on May 05, 2014 at 12:22am

Learn as much as you can about ADHD (I recommend anything by Dr. Russell Barkley), this will help you understand what your son is thinking and feeling. 

Then really watch your son and learn to preempt his outbursts.  My son gets foul when he’s hungry, or tired, or overwhelmed, so I try to make sure he’s always fed, rested and, as much as possible, feeling in control.  This means a lot less drama for everyone.  So in the mornings, I give him ample time to wake up (he reacts badly to being rushed), then (even though he’s 11) I make his breakfast and walk him through the morning routine.  Yes, that means a lot more work for me, but that’s pretty much life with an ADHD child… they don’t have the skills to keep themselves on track, so you need to be that support system for them.

He’ll still have outbursts, but there will be less.  And remember to think the 2/3 rule… ADHD kids are generally 2/3 less mature than their peers.  So your 8 year old is more like a 5-6 year old in how well he can manage stress, etc.  If you’re being consistent in your rules, you’re present with your support, and he’s getting the 10+ hours of sleep, high protein diet, exercise, etc. he needs, the outbursts will slowly lessen.

Posted by Rai0414 on May 05, 2014 at 12:37am

It would be a good idea to have his medication reevaluated. If the medication he’s on is not doing enough to help him with impulse control it makes it very difficult for him to behave in the appropriate ways. They don’t have the capability expected.

Plus ADHD children are 3yrs behind in maturity so imagine that you are dealing with a 5yr old and his behavior will make more sense.

Usually they have to try so hard to behave all day that by the time they get home they have nothing left. The fatigue and mental exhaustion means at home they can and will feel like it’s a place where they can finally be safe to show their emotions.

Good/bad rewards are always a good idea and can be a wonderful incentive, but we have to remember that ADHD is a disability that makes getting that good reward sometimes impossible no matter how hard they want to please us.

Anyway, I would see your pediatrician and probably a psychiatrist to talk about different medications and how that impacts his behavior. In the chaos it’s hard to think straight, but hang in there! It will get better.

Posted by Havebeenthere on May 05, 2014 at 4:48am

Thank you everyone for your advice. He does have an appointment to see a pshcyatrist this month. I have noticed lately that when he doesn’t get enough sleep he has more outburst. I know he doesn’t get enough sleep. I give him meletonine to try to help him get some sleep. He still wakes up in the middle of night sometimes.

Posted by Chelley on May 05, 2014 at 10:03am

My son is like that when he is transitioning off a dose of short acting Ritalin. When he is on the Ritalin, he is usually cooperative and kind. It seems to help him stop and think before he speaks or acts. He also takes Intuniv, but in a much lower dose, 1 mg. Have you tried to augment the Intuniv with Ritalin?

Just a thought.
Sue H in PC, Ohio

Posted by SueH on May 05, 2014 at 4:41pm

Our pediatric psychiatrist who we just had an appointment with last week said that Intuiv is not an ADD medication alone, that it needs to be used on conjunction with a stimulant med.  Are you being prescribed by a physician or pediatrician?  If so I STRONGLY recommend you get your prescription from a psychiatrist, preferably a pediatric specialist.  If he had skin issues you’d go to a dermatologist, diabetes you’d find an expert. 

However, if you think the meds are working fine, you may be seeing the brain exhaustion that kids (and adults) with ADHD get.  Meaning, he can hold it all together for a certain length of time - because people with ADHD know what to do, it is just implementing it that is problematical for them - and then his brain is just worn out, so no matter how much you scold he cannot behave.  Its not that he doesn’t want to behave, or that he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do.  His brain needs time to recharge before it can be taxed more.  A snack, a break to watch TV, videos, for half an hour or hour after school where nothing is required of him would help a lot.  Without proper meds though you are going to see some of the ADHD behaviors, there is just no way around that.

Posted by YellaRyan on May 05, 2014 at 9:49pm

We switched from the fast acting melatonin to a slow release version once my son started being able to swallow pills.  The slow release means he has help falling back to sleep, or staying asleep in the middle of the night.

Posted by Rai0414 on May 05, 2014 at 9:54pm

We tried stimulants first but he developed ticks so that is why we are on the non stimulant intunive. We started with 1 mg and worked our way up to 4 mg. He sees a pediatric specialist who deals with adhd.

Posted by Chelley on May 05, 2014 at 11:46pm

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