I think I am losing my mind
I have suspected for years that I have ADHD. Of course, I am middle-aged now and the thought of “learning something new” frightens me. Not any one thing but many things…learning a new skill or a new job or a new way of thinking, or a new way of doing things. So when I read about developing a structured environment for myself to harness organization and eliminate distractions and chaos, I really panic and almost shut down.
I look at my home. I look at my office. I look at my car. When I look at these things I think to myself it’s “chaos on steroids!” I am angry, embarrassed, ashamed, depressed and completely unmotivated to change these things…ENTER SHUTDOWN MODE. I go to bed and ignore it. When I am at work, I am beating the air.
I am so easily distracted that I cannot complete my tasks/projects/assignments. In my mind I know that was supposed to be doing “something” but I cannot remember what it was. Frustrating and depressing. I honestly think that I am losing my mind. I know that in addition to ADHD I have other medical issues that contribute to forgetfulness so I cut myself some slack but then I think that is a coward’s way out.
My boss has been so patient to work with me on this but now it has become critical that I take control of this confusion and disorganization. So to my credit, I have been chatting with a couple of friends about it all and they both suggested keeping a note pad with me at all times (when feasible, of course). If I am working on something then I suddenly come up with an idea- write it down. When I am on task but am pulled away for another assignment, quickly write down where I left off. If the phone rings or someone comes to my door make a note as to my thought or task on which I am working. This seems to be helping a little. It has only been a week that I have been trying this at work and am pleased so far with the results. Now to do something at home!!!
Does anyone here have any suggestions as to how to keep myself on task for household chores? And any suggestion as to how to take control of my workday??
I appreciate any insight you can give. Thank you
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