Join ADHD Groups!

Click the arrows to expand each group category below

Parents of ADHD Children

ADD Adults

ADHD and Related Conditions

ADHD Professionals

ADHD Resources

Groups by Location

ADHD Teens and Young Adults

I'm so close to the edge it scares me!

I cant take it anymore!! all the nagging and name calling and impossible expectations are driving me crazy!! its getting so bad im thinks of suicide again… its not the first time but this time i cant talk to my bestfriend about it because my mom doesnt want me to socialize or whatever so she took my phone. she expects me to be so fucking different!! shes tried everything she could think of!! they think im one of them but they dont get it. they think they know me so well but they dont!!! they dont know anything about me… i stand it anymore… i know ill graduate and leave in 2 years (if i ever graduate) but i cant do this anymore and tw years seems like forever!!! anyone got any advice because to be honest even if it is the only way out, the idea of death kinda scares me

Replies

Thanks for being honest and reaching out.  It seems like you really want life to work out.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that yesterday on Facebook I saw two pictures:  the first was of a policeman talking a young man off a ledge.  the second was about five years later.  The young man was married, had a couple of kids and was presenting an award to the policeman who saved his life.  I just want you to know that things can get better.  Is there anyone that you can tell face to face?  You might also think about getting help to figure out why the expectations feel impossible.  It is incredibly frustrating to feel like the things expected of you are impossible.  Sometimes it’s hard for parents to understand that their kids are different,and think differently.  As an ADD Mom, I’m guilty of that one.  The thought of losing one of my kids is so scary.  From my Mom heart, first I am glad you are reaching out. I know that ADHD can be a pain to live with sometimes.  Kids and parents have different ideas on how growing up should go.  Can you find someone to help you work through these things.  I am hopeful for you.

Posted by whizinc on Jul 22, 2014 at 8:53pm

Please seek medical help by calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visiting http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Posted by ADDConnect Community Editor on Jul 22, 2014 at 9:07pm

Life gets way better after High school. Bad times are not forever. Nobody loves you more than your parents so be wise and listen to them. God loves you and He has a great plan for your life so trust Him to work all things together for good. Praying blessings for you. This time is short and it wont last forever.

Posted by leslie 1 on Jul 22, 2014 at 10:38pm

Consider confiding in someone you are comfortable with if you can’t be straight with your parents. Maybe the school guidance counselor, a family friend, or a church elder. Find someone who will listen and show understanding. The school counselor can help you get through school struggles and graduate as well.

Hang in there - peaks always come after valleys.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jul 23, 2014 at 1:14pm

Listen.
Maybe you won’t think that I understand, but believe me I do.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 15, I was also diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. There were days when all I could think of suicide.
There were days when I didn’t think I was going to see a new one.
But I did and I got through it. And if I can, you can too. I know what it’s like to have all these people thinking they know what you’re going through when they don’t even know the half of it. I know what it’s like to have a bunch of people to tell you “what to do to get better” when you want to find out How to get better. I know you think no one understands but I do. And although you may not believe me, I know you can overcome this too. Inbox me whenever you need someone to talk to, I’m always happy to listen <3

You got this.
Don’t hold it in,
it’s okay to need other people.

You’re so much stronger than you think <3

Posted by ConsistentInconsistency on Jul 26, 2014 at 5:22am

Reaching out for help is the right thing to do! Good for you being brave enough to make this post!

If you are thinking about death or self-harm, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your friends will listen and be sympathetic, but they might not know how to help you best. The folks on this Hotline are caring, compassionate, and can HELP you in a crisis.

You can also find another adult to help you…maybe a school counselor, or a church member, or one of your friend’s parents. They can offer advice and maybe even help you work better with your mom.

Please do not give up on yourself or your situation. Things can and will get better. You are posting here, so I assume you have ADHD and you are having a hard time learning to live with it.

I’m a mom to a now-18 year old girl. Your post reads a lot like what she might have written in the past few years. I spent time on that Suicide Hotline in fear that she would harm herself (that’s why I know they are good.) From 9th grade on, she was treated for anxiety/depression, and it just wasn’t getting better. We thought she was still sad because her dad died when she was 9. We tried counseling. We tried antidepressants. Nothing was helping. Her once-A grades kept slipping, she refused to do the work, she often wouldn’t even want to get out of bed. We changed schools, but it didn’t help. We tried independent study, but it wasn’t the answer.  She was frustrated, and so was I. To me as Mom, from the outside, it looked like she was just being unmotivated, moody, lazy. We had a lot of arguments, and I tried a lot of things (like taking away her electronics) in an effort to motivate her. It didn’t work.

Luckily for me, she didn’t turn away from me. Even though you are frustrated and angry, please don’t turn away from your mom…she can be an important ally and supporter for you as you get your frustrations sorted out.

For my daughter, It turned out that she had undiagnosed ADHD. I knew nothing about ADHD, but once I learned about that it (mid-way through her senior year), many things about her made a whole lot of sense. (No wonder she forgets things! No wonder she is so disorganized! No wonder she manages her time and money so poorly!) She’d been telling me “I’m not the same as other kids!” and “the harder I try to concentrate, the harder it gets to learn”...which only made sense to me after I learned about her type of ADHD.

If I had known about this condition, I would have parented her differently. I would have structured our home and our family life in a more helpful way. But I didn’t know.

We are now at the point where she has finished high school (barely, even though she is smart) and wants to go away to an art college. (She wants out of the house!) She is enrolled and everything is set up for her to go. But she is also terrified because she doesn’t manage her life well, and won’t listen to my ideas for helping (making a list, getting a planner, etc.) She takes meds (when she remembers), but won’t go to an ADHD coach or counselor. She won’t try lifestyle changes (like diet and exercise). I feel frustrated because I see her not trying things that are known to be helpful to a person with ADHD. But I cannot make her do it. She has to do those things for herself.

I guess she plans to just “wing it”. I truly hope that she can pull it together and make it work, and I’m there to help her as much as she will let me. 

Does your mom understand about ADHD? Can you (maybe with the help of a counselor or another trusted adult) show her some articles on this website so she can understand what you’re going through? Ideally, over the next two years you have at home, you and she can work together to help you make your life feel less chaotic and out of control.

If she will not learn and work with you, there are still things that you can do for yourself to help manage your ADHD. But I hope she will be your partner in learning to manage this chaos-inducing condition.

Once again, I admire your bravery in reaching out here for help. The teens years are hard even in the best circumstances, and ADHD only makes it harder!! You are stronger than you know, and one day you will look back on these years and say “wow…I got through it!”

Posted by Late2TheGame on Jul 26, 2014 at 7:03pm

Reply to this thread

You must be logged in to reply. To log in, click here.
Not a member? Join ADDConnect today. It's free and easy!

Not a member yet? Join here »


Important! User-Generated Content

The opinions expressed on ADDConnect are solely those of the user, who may or may not have medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of ADDConnect or ADDitude magazine. For more information, see our terms and conditions.