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Christians With ADHD

In need of support and prayers
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HI! I am a 21 year old college senior. I was diagnosed with ADD almost 4 years ago. Have been handeling it all really well and keep on track of stuff. But recently I have been loosing EVERYTHING. Like more than normal. I left my wallet somewhere (its gone), then i left my keys at the library, I have left my phone in multiple places (Thank you nice people who return things). I know loosing things is a part of ADD, but I have just been feeling like such a failure and honestly, just kinda dumb. Like Who looses that many things? I dont really know where else to go to get support. No one else seems to get it and just rolls there eyes when I say I’ve lost something else, they cant seem to understand why I cant keep my stuff together. So, im not really asking a question, just trying to find some support somewhere.

Replies

Hi Jbubbles4, When I am stressed or under pressure, my ADD gets worse.  When I do ADD stuff that causes me grief, I have learned to acknowledge the results, think about what I would have done differently, and let it go.  The next day is a new day.  God’s mercies are new every morning.  Give yourself grace to enjoy the new day.  I think all ADD’ers have feelings of failure, feeling dumb and I can’t believe I did that again.  This is a journey.  God will give you strength and wisdom.  Stay in the Word.  God allows things for your good and to grow you.  Think about how He’s growing you.  Try things you think will work, if they do, great.  Prayers said for you…

Posted by whizinc on Feb 01, 2017 at 7:27am

Jbubbles4, first I want to congratulate you on making it to your senior year in college. That is a major feat - not the accomplishment of a “failure” or a person who was “kinda dumb”.  Don’t let this momentary issue overshadow your accomplishment, nor should you let the impending transition from college into the next phase in your life bring you fear and steal the joy in celebrating what you have accomplished by His grace (God, of course!). 

When you were diagnosed, I assume you also were told or figured out on your own that you’re going to have to do things differently that work for you. Implicitly, that also meant that not everyone would understand, grasp, or even embrace the how or why you do it.  Quite frankly, the are not you and cannot grasp what’s going on in your head. Some people don’t “get it”, nor do they know/understand how their reactions hurt others.Forgive them and move on.

You figured out how to successfully navigate your way being a college senior; there are a lot of people, “neurotypicals” as I heard the term called,  who never made it.  Four years vs “recently…” - lets’ have some perspective here - you’ve earned the right to cut yourself some slack on this.

I have a confession to make - I’m a 44 yr old “neurotypical” who’s married with kids - in my household (between my wife and kids) we have ADD/ADHD/Aspergers’/Bipolar Disorder/and CAPD. Wanna know 1 thing we all have in common?  Misplacing things.  Wanna know something else? I’m always the one who misplaces my keys, and wallet getting misplaced, and it’s always them who find it!!! Point is, you’re not the only one.

Lastly, I want to thank you for posting to this thread, because as someone who is “neurotypical”, I don’t always understand the struggles, and sometimes struggle to understand them.  When I read your post, I am reminded of the awesome responsibility as a Christian to be compassionate and to offer support where needed.  When I see your request for support, I think about my youngest sons, 12, 13 and how sometimes they tell me that the feel like “failures” or feel “dumb” because they need help.  I’m reminded that the need for compassion and support is real, and that as a Christian, and a husband, as a father, it is imperative that I do so. 

So I will close by telling you “don’t sweat it”, “congratulations”, “thank you”, and prayers have been sent! Take care and God bless!

Posted by Athanasius on Feb 01, 2017 at 4:20pm

My life verse that my Aunt had me memorize while I was in elementary school is: Phil.4:13.  I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”  God will not give you more than you can take.  Give it to Him and He will help you.  Trust His word,  He will.  When I get stressed out, all I have to do is to begin to read scripture and I get calmed down immediately.  Do this.  I will be praying for you.  If you ever want to write directly, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  Hugs.

Posted by evierm on Feb 01, 2017 at 4:37pm

Hi Jbubbles4,

Yes, congratulations on college!  That’s a lot of work!

I just have a couple of tips for you:

When I lose something, I always say, “Ok, Father, You know where it is…please guide me to that place and help me to see it.”

Practice MINDFULNESS.  Say to yourself, OK, I’m putting my glass down HERE.  And take a quick mental snapshot of it in that place.  It really helps, if you can remember to do it!

God bless you,

Diane

Posted by godsl8y on Feb 01, 2017 at 7:14pm

Jubbles ... I’m 65 years old, raised 4 adult kids, all of whom needed IDEA help at one time or another, and one of my docs said roughly 15 years ago, “Buddy, you’ve got ADHD in spades!” Oh, and to paraphrase a Jimmy Buffett song, “the stories I could tell.”

Best to take it easy, just send up a prayer or two when you get in that “things are getting zooey here Lord, how ‘bout some help” zone of thinking and send that prayer up S L O W L Y. Don’t worry, God won’t mistake you for Forrest Gump.  But saying this prayer will help you calm your nerves and buy you some “Sanity, I need it,” time.

Four years of college long before finding out one had ADHD or ADD, or the rest of the alphabet soup related comorbidities (real positive word, eh?) and spending some time saying Hail Marys for a passing grade on a Psych class I HAD TO PASS in my final semester while my parents were enroute to Miami for my graduation ... well, if that doesn’t tell you God hears the woeful cries of His kiddos down here, ... I’ll let you decide and just relax, enjoy college, and remember, you’re only young once so take that to the spiritual/mental health insurance God gives us all just for the asking.
Steven

Posted by Steven Barrett on Feb 01, 2017 at 11:32pm

The more stressed you are, the less cognitive functioning you have. So, consider how much stress you’re under and work on that.

In addition, there are some strategies you can implement. There are many adults with ADHD who constantly lose things. Many set up a spot by the door and train themselves to put everything they leave the house with there (keys, phone, wallet, backpack, glasses, etc).

There are many recommended strategies in these articles too:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/939.html
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/9363.html

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

Posted by adhdmomma on Feb 03, 2017 at 2:41pm

https://youtu.be/EfYWqPrbgNM
Here’s a video that reminded me of your post. Please don’t ever believe your a failure.
Speaking as someone who was undignosed for the majority of my academic career, I know how hard it is to explain why you decided to start lengthy projects the night before its due or why you left all your other class assignments (which are in your bookbag that is still in your house somewhere). The hardest part is trying to explain yourself after doing so much better. 
But the thing is, it doesn’t matter. You know you are doing your best despite the obstacle in your life. More importantly, God does. That makes you a success, not a failure. A lot of ADD and ADHDers don’t go to college, or drop out soon after. If you measure success by standards that don’t apply to you, you will feel very discouraged.
It’s like a fifty year old become depressed because they are not able to run the same way as a 15 year old. Running standards vary between age and gender, so measuring success by categories that don’t apply to you personally will give you a false outlook.
Never focus on failure. And don’t focus on the loneliness of it all (which is extremely difficult to do). You’re not alone. Don’t ever let yourself believe that you are.

Posted by AuroraGrace on Mar 19, 2017 at 3:35am

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