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Intent vs. Action problems


I thought I’d ask here, since I would think being Entrepreneurs and all you guys are more on the level of what I call “high-functioning ADDers”. LOL We suffer the afflictions but have seemed to find ways over the years to deal with them.

My biggest immediate problem from my perspective is my desire to do certain things versus “finding the time” and planning them into my life. The two biggest examples are writing, which I would like to do as a career and exercising.

Right now I could probably be doing either one besides this! Writing causes me grief because even though hubby is supportive of me, I know I have things I need to help him with in regards to our current business that provides income and so I freeze up. I frankly am not a huge fan of invoicing and doing other paperwork, so I will procrastinate. But instead of procrastinating doing writing, I am so stressed or something I can’t be creative! It should be noted I have upheaval in my life right now with extra houseguests and the possibility of losing my home. BUT I hate that I am just ‘wandering’ and I am sick of feeling that way.
The exercise thing, well, there’s just always ‘something’ to get done, right?!

Any suggestions on how I can break out of this, or does anyone think something else is going on?! I am hypothyroid and medicated for that, plus I take Adderall and my last blood work just done was fine. This is why I am starting to think it’s just ‘mental’.

Replies

Hi Zafra,

This is one of those “if I had $1” topics for most of us ADD Coaches who work with adults!  Not to minimize it (at all!), it’s something I hear other adutls with ADD complain about daily.  Literally!  You are definitely not alone.

As a Coach, I would do some excavation into why the “action” items you want/need to do are improtant to you, in terms of how they align with your values and the “bigger picture” of who you are and who you want to be.  Many times, if we do the work into the “who” of the action items, it because easier to get into action on them.  If you’re not working with a coach right now, it may be helpful for you to spend some time thinking or journalling about how these action items relate to what’s really important to you (maybe how they tie into your relationship with your husband and the bigger “why” of why you have the business,etc.  (That’s a total shot in the dark just from your brief mention of hiim and the business in the post.  I could be WAY off base there, but I hope that sparks something you can work with!)

Of course we can’t stop there, because every single one of us with ADD (myself included) struggle with follow-through from time to time.  A coach will help you figure out ways to accomplish those tasks in ways that work with your natural strengths, work styles, etc.  Figuring out what works for you in other areas and how to apply those things/principals to the areas of struggle is where we go next.

Then, we make an action plan and set up some supports around the action plan, such as check-ins, accountability, etc.

I don’t know if that helps at all, but you are definitely NOT alone in your struggle here and although it may be “mental” in nature, that doesn’t mean it’s simply a matter of bucking up or “pulling up your big girl pants” so to speak!  If only it were that easy, none of us would struggle!

Hope that helps!

Lynne Edris, ACG
Life & ADD Coach
http://www.CoachingADDvantages.com

Posted by ADD_Coach_Lynne on Oct 07, 2011 at 6:37pm

Good Day Zafra;

I am sending this email to all those with ADHD and are looking for direction and assistance in pursing their vocation in what ever manner that might be in.

Thanks for stepping out to reach out for tips.  That is a good start it says you are willing to be open to hear other ideas from others on the internet. 

Its like shopping your going from one shop to another to see which ones fits your life style or resinates your inner spirit.

I can relate to your issues also because I have ADHD and are in the middle of rediscovering myself so it opens doors to my passion.  I too have problems with carrying out and following thru in getting things completed.  I have found a mentor women networking group in my area.  Maybe you could start finding one in your area.  The other discovery I found was a Business Coach who has on her site a section “BEING SUCCESSFUL WITH ADHD SUPPORT PAGE”  HERE IS HER CONNECTION SHE IS IN THE STATES.

Audrey Seymour MA PCC
Visions Into Form Business and Leadership Coaching
Teaching Staff, True Purpose Institute
http://www.visionsintoform.com
415.488.4998

I LIVE IN CANADA ZAFRA so reaching out to both sides of the countries has benefited me.

The other site I have found helpful is http://www.panachedesai.com  his Divine gifts help me break free of the ADHD obstacles that held me trapped from moving forward.  I said I loved my ADHD with my hands folding across my heart and say out loud with meaning I LOVE MY ADHD, IT might lift OR EASE UP for you too.  You are perfect just like you are let the divine work thru you.  I don’t mean a religion but a higher level of VIBRATION OF LOVE AND LIGHT.

May the angels of higher vibration open your doors to be able to pursue your dreams and be able to protect and keep your HOUSE from being taken away from you.

If you are someone who has a desire to help in the Nutritional field of raising healthy kids with Fruit and Veggies check out my web site.

https://www.juiceplus.com/nsa/+homePage=rhondaenergizedjuiceplus.com

Its a great business in being able to bring in extra $.
This product helps those with ADHD and it protects you from colds and flues at work and school.


Rhonda

Posted by Angelic Light on Oct 07, 2011 at 9:07pm

ADDitude expert Beth Main has posted a great reply to this question here: Never Enough Time: Following Through on Plans

Posted by Anni Rodgers on Oct 19, 2011 at 9:00pm

You are definitely not alone! In the past several months I have become frighteningly aware of how much I must have been compensating in the past. In August I started a new high level job that brought out my ADD (procrastination, perfectionism, disorganization, etc.) very abrubtly. My self-esteem and self-confidence has taken a nose dive.

I have decided on a few steps to help me out of this mess. One, I finally got back on medication after being off since last April. Adderall and Fluoxetine. Two, I have found a great psycho-therapist that is helping me understand that just because I’m having trouble, or making mistakes, it is not because I’m stupid or have no value, and the most recent step that is looking to be very hopeful is I have signed up with a Career/life coach specializing with ADD. I’m only in for a couple of sessions right now, but already feel a boost!

Posted by Topscratch on Feb 06, 2012 at 1:17am

I have the same issue with intention and execution. I was planning to do my taxes today. I got to the computer, opened my email, and there was this message about a gardening website I just joined yesterday. My taxes didn’t get done, but I picked up the vegetables that grow best in my backyard. Also, I had this great idea about key relationships for a product that I am planning to market, and I made a few appointments, but the taxes are still not done, and the deadline is coming. I am also in Canada. It is nice to exchange ideas with people of both sides of the border.

Posted by najn on Mar 27, 2013 at 6:48am

I have the same issue with intention and execution. I was planning to do my taxes today. I got to the computer, opened my email, and there was this message about a gardening website I just joined yesterday. My taxes didn’t get done, but I picked up the vegetables that grow best in my backyard. Also, I had this great idea about key relationships for a product that I am planning to market, and I made a few appointments, but the taxes are still not done, and the deadline is coming. I am also in Canada. It is nice to exchange ideas with people of both sides of the border.

Posted by najn on Mar 27, 2013 at 6:48am

I have some similar issues to you.  My husband also has ADHD and I get stuck being responsible for a lot of the tedious, time sensitive life management tasks like money management, taxes, schedules, remembering family birthdays, etc.  My passion is painting, but since starting my relationship with my husband, my creative output had slowed almost to a complete stop. 

I started a few years back with trying to get back in control of my life.  At that time neither of us had the ADHD diagnosis.  There was therapy, anti-depressants that did not help, couples therapy, a separation, lots of false starts on trying to work out regularly, and many, many other issues (including co-morbid conditions) that got tackled first and some of them turned out to be dead ends. By the time I got to the ADHD, I had already setup a few things differently that helped with my ADHD stuff like hiring a regular cleaning service and a lawn service, making changes to my role at work and using a professional organizer to help me with my insane overflowing closet/laundry situation. 

Now that I have the ADHD diagnosis, I’ve been really motivated to learn more and to implement more changes to help me be my most productive.  I had become so accustomed to doing everything the hard way and was raised with some cultural conditioning that life is supposed to a difficult struggle and it’s not reasonable to expect to be happy.  So the idea of setting up my life to suit me best was totally foreign to me.  I didn’t even realize that was an option a few years ago.  Therapy helped me with letting go of some of those unhelpful lessons.  I know everyone has the option and right to set up their lives in a way that works for them, but somehow having the ADHD diagnosis gave me even more permission (in my head) to accommodate my needs and not toil in misery unnecessarily. 

I found the following book pretty helpful in coming up with tools and tricks to help myself: http://www.amazon.com/ADD-Friendly-Ways-Organize-Your-Life/dp/1583913580/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1370972235&sr=8-3&keywords=organizing+adhd

I’ve implemented a lot small changes, and I’ve found its best not to try to attack everything at once. I start with one or two changes and work on them until I feel I’ve really adopted it into my routine. 

Learning to get outside help was big for me.  I’ve also realized where I have opportunities to team up with my husband and divide and conquer on certain chores.  I can do a lot of little chores throughout the day that are hard to notice that I’ve accomplished anything.  He’s good at attacking a room and clearing everything out to make it look clean (macro-cleaning).  It all ends up in a pile of garbage bags in a closet, but the room is ready for company or the cleaning lady.  I can’t do that.  And the bags later need to be investigated for what’s actual trash and what needs to find its place in our home.  Sometimes I need him to be my “closer.”  I can do a partial job on 10 chores but can’t finish any of them.  I also will take to some micro-cleaning things like scrubbing baseboards, which seems pointless when the room is completely cluttered.  So I’ve really worked on observing our processes and coming up with better strategies for dividing and conquering what needs to be done.

As a result of all the small changes I’ve been doing over time, my mood is definitely better and I have more energy and mental capacity for things like taking a walk or painting.  On the exercise front, I’ve also found that if I can combine my creative interests with my exercise, I get a multiplicative effect.  A few weekends ago, I walked a new urban trail that has a lot of art installations along the way.  I brought my camera and walked about 5-6 miles over a long interval, but took some great photographs along the way and really enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine. 

I hope something in my looong post is helpful to you and others.

Posted by tgar on Jun 12, 2013 at 1:14am

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