Parents of ADHD Children
I've had all I can take
Ever get so overwhelmed and feel like there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel?
This past year has really been a struggle for us. We opened a small business and it hasn’t been going as well as we have hoped. We’ve been in the “slow season” for the past few months and the bills are piling up. We work really hard to make ends meet. We’ve cut every expense we can in order to make it work including letting a car go, cutting all of our staff, bringing in roommates in exchange for help with the rent and childcare and cutting out all the “extras”. We are behind in our store rent, late on our home rent and drowning in bills that are past due.
I’ve already borrowed money from my family members who can’t afford it to keep us afloat for the past few months. We’ve pawned our wedding bands and my anniversary ring months ago and the renewal period is coming due in December and I may loose them forever.
We are currently in the process of sponsorship and if we seek help from any government assistance programs we will be denied sponsorship because my husband will be deemed unfit to provide for us even though he has been for the past 8 years since our oldest son was born. I can’t just go get a job because I am waiting for my work visa to be approved. My husband has been looking for a job for months as a way to get us out of this. We’ve tried selling our business but because two sandwich shops have opened in our vicinity after we did we can’t find a buyer. Being forced to leave here now would mean we are forced to leave our business and the boys school which is a problem for several reasons.
First off, if we walk away from our small business now we will loose our investment of nearly $15,000 dollars. We will also loose all the fees and money we paid to immigration for sponsorship which is over $2000.
Second, our oldest son has severe ADHD and had to be moved to a different school after 1st grade with a special program and is currently receiving mental health support through his school and Drs here. He currently sees a Dr. at least once a week and is on the wait list for screening through Sunny Hill. Moving him would severely disrupt his treatment as we wouldn’t get the same help in the States because we couldn’t afford it.
Third, our youngest is scheduled for his first appointment in two weeks with a leg specialist after being on a 2 year wait list. He’s been toe walking since he was a year old and his heal cord has tightened making it impossible for him to walk normally. We tried braces and we are going to start a series of casting to correct it. If that doesn’t work surgery would be the next step again all things we couldn’t afford in the States. Doug is scheduled for cataract surgery repair in a few months as well. So as you can see it would not be a good decision for us to just go back to the States right now.
Doug generally works 6-7 days a week at the deli (I can usually give him a break by switching roles with him on Mondays). He leaves the house at about 6:45a to pick up the supplies for the store and then works 9:00 till close at 7:00 p.m. I help out during lunch and peak times on weekends. On Saturdays and Sundays we bring the boys to the store with us one day and leave them with the sitter one day. This works out ok. However, on December 1st Doug had emergency surgery to repair a rupture in his intestines caused by a hernia. He is recovering at home and will be unable to lift more than 5lbs on his own for the next 30 days. For this week I am relying on help from a few parents at the boy’s school to watch them and walk them to school so I can be at the store to open and working until close myself and taking the boys to and from school, etc. I will be working all the store shifts until he can recover enough to come back to work.
We’re just having a tough time with everything coming due at once. We’ve “robbed Peter to pay Paul” the past few months but aren’t able to make it work this month. My boys already missed out on Thanksgiving because we couldn’t afford to have a family turkey dinner. It breaks my heart to think that they will have to do without this Christmas because we’ve had a rough go with our business.
We are both mentally and physically exhausted. What do we do now? Are there any resources to help us?
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