Need help living with ADD symptoms
Recently, as in the last few years, especially over the last year, I’ve found myself unable to remember vocabulary, missing large gaps of memory, severe demotivation, anxiety, unable to finish lists/goals, knowing how to do something but being unable to do it when I sit down to start, depression, withdrawal, over indulgence on impulses, among others.
For the past six years I’ve been living alone, working overseas as a teacher or traveling. I found this to be useful as I become restless in a country starting around a year and a half and if I feel trapped (unable to leave or do things due to obligations/finances) I become severely depressed and often slip into heavy drinking.
Last year I had worked my way up to teaching at a University in Istanbul and it was a great job however once the protests broke out and I saw the abuses by the police and media coverup by the government I felt obliged to use my photography skills to capture what was happening and dispense this to people. I ended up losing my job and shortly after making some large purchases due to my increased salary, having them stolen and leaving me homeless and broke for 5 months in Istanbul.
I finally decided to throw the towel in and asked my parents for help. My mother took a loan and was able to fly me home. I’ve been here ever since but unable to find anything but a 1 month temp job since I don’t have the ‘experience’ or references that people want here. Where I live, you need a car to get around so I’m also much less social..sometimes not even leaving the house for a week, (but lately I do get out and meet people and have started running again).
I’m usually able to persevere through almost any hardship. However, I’m worried sick about my memory loss and being unable to accomplish anything I set myself down to do (if I’m helping someone else…I can perform above and beyond..just never for myself).
I would like to leave the country again as I feel best on the road and enjoy living among other cultures. Before I can leave though, I feel I must take care of these issues because overseas I rarely am able to find help due to language barriers or medical systems. I also want to be as successful as I know I can be.
Any pointers in the right direction..a therapist, strategies, etc would be appreciated. I feel a bit lost these days.
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