ADHD in Women
New Member - Looking for Some Guidance and Understanding?
Hello, I guess I should start by introducing myself? I’m new here, and a little nervous since I’ve never sought out support like this. I’m twenty years old and was diagnosed with “Inattentive ADD” in 2004. I was put into special classes because of it, which was both a blessing and a curse. While other students didn’t generally pick on me, the school system did not handle my case well. My teachers would not let me go into advanced classes despite my high scores in English, this being due to my ADD and my disability in Math. While I do have my list of complaints on my experience, I cannot deny that I was lucky enough to be taught how to cope with my ADD. However, there were things that they could not help as easily such as Social Skills. My teachers all saw me the same way: Shy but sweet. Though, I gave them nothing bad to say. I only did enough to not be noticed in class. It would be amazing if I ever spoke more than three sentences to my teachers, even most of my special education teachers. I avoided contact at all means possible. I was never the type to open up to others very easily.
Elementary school, for a time, was fine. I had a group of friends, though a small group, that were accepting and encouraging of me. They helped me and provided inspiration to do as well as they were in school, to read and write as much as they were. For a few years we would even sit together at the library and write for five hours together. My spelling and grammar improved significantly, as did my grades in English. Once we entered high school, we were separated into different schools. Ever since I struggled really connecting the way I did with those friends. Every year I found myself sitting with a different group at lunch and I could never keep up or even find interest in their conversations.
I’ve made two friends in my college experience so far. I go through phases of planning to spend time with them and phases of thinking I’m bothering them. Furthermore, my mother has made the observation on how I behave in public, explaining that my body language says I want to be left alone. At the same time, I’m absolutely terrified of being alone and afraid of rejection. I’m very withdrawn around people my age, but I really want to make connections to other people the way I did in Elementary school. I don’t need a lot of friends, I don’t need to go out partying every night (because parties are overwhelming and kind of boring, I’d rather be home watching movies), and I’m not even interested in getting a boy friend quite yet. I just need those few connections to people my age.
Is this shyness and lack of social skills part of the side effects of ADD? I’ve read before that one of the underlying issues would be Shyness, does anyone have advice on how to make the connections? I find it difficult to just open up to others, for my friends in Elementary school, it took time. I think I can really make connections to my two friends I’ve met in college, but just “opening up” on a whim is difficult.
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