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I sit here trying to figure out what to say. I am 48 now and most of my 40’s have seem to be a disaster. After taking the time to research this topic I noticed clues that led me back to my childhood. My grades were poor. I only had a couple of friends. I was picked on a lot, although I was a big guy. I was and am very emotional but I know I am not gay. I could fix or trouble shoot anything. I felt, if you gave me the plans to the space shuttle, I could build it. I was a loner in high school and barely graduated. I drank and did things I believed to be normal at that time. I tried to go to college multiple times but either stopped going to class or lost interest. I have worked in the same career field for over 20 years and the same employer. Any job I held before that, I excelled and or go bored of it. I have been married for over 23 years. My 40’s have been difficult. I have tried to move into management. I have taken on so much work to prove myself. I believe they have caught on to my problem. They would fail at something and talk about it in front of me knowing I would step up and take it on. I can’t say no to helping anyone. I can’t watch anything fail. It all seems like my responsibility. I am completely overwhelmed at this time. Paralyzing! Things are slowly failing which makes me feel incompetent. So recently I am trying to go back to school. Engineering- 3 classes a semester. I now notice my attention span stops me from studying. I can read a sentence and by the end of it, I can’t remember what I just read. I meet people and immediately forget their names. I rush through the day not stopping to talk to anybody but trying to get as much as I can done. I am exploding with stress and anxiety. Quitting coffee has helped.
There’s more….but is this it? Is this having ADD?
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