Couples With One ADHD Partner
No Consequences for Bad Behavior?
I just read this article on ADDitude Mag about a mother who doesn’t punish her 10-year-old son for screaming mean things at her because he can’t help it: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/9894.html
As I was reading this, I thought about how my ADHD husband says whenever I ask him to change his awful behavior (screaming, swearing, etc.), it’s like asking a paraplegic to walk. What are people’s thoughts about this?
The other issue is the lack of apology. There is never an apology after the awful behavior. He just blames me. I might be able to endure the awful behavior if there was an attempt at repair, but there never is. He says asking him to apologize is like asking him to apologize for who he is. And he says he’ll NEVER do that.
Clearly, the punitive consequences don’t work for ADHD kids, so I understand they won’t work for the ADHD adult either. But how to “set up his environment for success” without compromising my own needs and boundaries is the gazillion-dollar question.
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