Christians With ADHD
No Consequences for Bad Behavior?
Hi. I just read this article on ADDitude Mag about a mother who does not punish her ADHD son for bad behavior because he can’t help it: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/9894.html. The gist of the article is that her son’s behavior got so much better because she doesn’t punish him.
I can understand how this works for kids, but what about ADHD spouses? My husband says me asking him to stop his bad behavior (screaming, swearing, etc.) is like asking a paraplegic to walk. He says he can’t help his adult tantrums. Is the best thing to do just walk away? What if I can’t get away?
My other big issue with my husband is that he never apologizes for his bad behavior. He just blames me. I’m trying to understand this characteristic of ADHD. He says apologizing for his behavior is like apologizing for who he is.
I posted this question in the Couples with one ADHD Partner board, but the responses I got were very angry and judgmental and not very helpful. I’m posting here because my experience with this group is much more full of compassion and grace. We all need grace.
If you look up my past posts on this board, you will know that I separated from my husband a couple of years ago and that we both worked very hard to reconcile. I don’t want to give the impression I’m a pushover for his bad behavior, because I don’t think I am. Still, it’s difficult to deal with and I’m doing my best to understand his ADHD with compassion.
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