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I’m feeling extremely angry with how my life is turning out. I’m so tired of hearing be an adult. Your season will come, just believe in The Lord! Just focus on your work instead of the noises my coworkers make. Stop being an pussy and letting them get into your head. Lise weight! Why aren’t you on this dating site. Save money, and go out more often. You need to call your doctor so you can talk! So what you didn’t get promoted for the fifth time. When life gives you lemons, just make lemon juice out of it! God loves you and stop complaining! So what you aren’t getting any calls or email back, for jobs you applied for. Why is it, no matter what job or place you go you always have issues with people! Why didn’t you stick to graphic design? I’m so angry and nothing is working out for me. I even started taking meds and they don’t work! I wouldn’t hurt myself or anyone else but there are some days I want to go into a room and smash everything! I didn’t feel this much rage when I was younger but I’m 28 and I’ve had add since I was in 1st grade. I’m losing control everyday and I feel like such an disappointment to my family! I can’t seem to find my faith, find myself and I’m just angry all the time!  Really don’t know what to do! Any suggestions you all offer will be most welcomed!

Replies

It’s very frustrating when people don’t know where your coming from, they have the best intentions but don’t understand that it’s not as easy do just do what they advice even if we really want to. I hear a lot of “why don’t you just exercise”, “how could you forget that”, “I don’t understand why you don’t just do it”. Medication wise it’s very important that you get on the right medication. Just because you have ADD doesn’t mean any ADD medication will be the right one. Also the correct dosage amount is important. My doctor had me start of with a low amount and we just gradually increased it until it was the right amount. I also have been going to counseling with someone who knows about ADD and understand that I am looking for strategies and accommodations to live a “normal” life.

I suggest reading Dr. Amen’s book “Healing ADHD”. I have learned so much about myself and my type of ADHD since reading it. There are 7 types of ADHD and it’s important to figure out what type you are living with so you can then figure out the right strategies and accommodations you will need to make your life more manageable.

Good luck and don’t give up hope, there are people who understand.

Posted by cheroyley on Jul 17, 2014 at 6:33pm

Thank you cheroyley! I’ve been switching different meds this past year, to figure out what works. The ones I take now do nothing for me but my doc who gave them to me, thinks I’m getting better! I want to get better and be more at peace within myself but I think how can I when I’m always having issues with people. I’m great at my job but I’m bored as hell! I’ll seek out that book. Thank you again!

Posted by Jjingram on Jul 17, 2014 at 6:53pm

You are the only one that knows if the meds are working. I started taking meds because I was making careless mistakes, took longer than needed to complete assignments, forgot tasks that needed to be completed and missed a lot of “little things”. I am also great at what I do, but when I am doing rote work that I hate, I tend to avoid it or miss something. The meds have helped as long as I follow through and take them everyday. Being bored is a bad thing for people with ADHD if we are not engaged and doing something that is stimulating it can cause havoc in many areas of life. It’s important that you are aware of how you learn, and along your path figure out what strategies and accommodations work best for you. Some you can implement yourself at work and home and others may need to be gone Human Resources. I find that using a timer helps keep me on track with work. https://askjan.org/ is a great website that gives information on accommodations for all types of disabilities. Try out different ones and see what works. Also make sure that the doctor your working with for your meds specializes in ADHD. Too often doctors who don’t are prescribing meds and it’s not what you need. I take two different medications - one for General Anxiety Disorder, and the other for the ADHD. For the ADHD I take one that’s long lasting and another dosage of the same med that is short acting. It helps get me started each day and keeps me on track the rest of the day. Like I said each person is different and you have to figure out what works for you. Also carbs and processed foods have been known to increase the symptoms of ADHD so if you eat a lot of them you might think about changing your eating habits to a higher protein less carb diet. The book I recommended does also talk about that.

Posted by cheroyley on Jul 17, 2014 at 7:21pm

I hear you!

Posted by Jjingram on Jul 17, 2014 at 8:05pm

Hi jjingram!

Feeling angry all the time could actually be a symptom of depression, especially when you feel like “nothing” is going right. Take this quiz and see if you should talk to your doctor about that added possibility: http://www.additudemag.com/quiz/3/.

ADDitudeMag.com offers some great anger-management strategies for ADHDers as well:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5235.html
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5249.html

I hope you find some tools to discover peace!

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jul 18, 2014 at 1:29pm

Thank you :0)

Posted by Jjingram on Jul 21, 2014 at 1:03am

I’m with you!  I’ve heard similar things throughout my life and the older I have gotten the angrier and more irritable I have become in general and I’m 43 now.  As a result as I have gotten older I have also become more introverted.  There was a time many years ago where I was the exact opposite but now I stay pissed and irritable at people in general.  I gave up alcohol about 6 months ago because I become even worse.  I have yet to find meds that will help so I just don’t socialize except with family only.  About a month ago my doc suggested seeing a counselor for anger management but I turned it down because I’m too far gone at this point and I personally don’t believe in ‘anger ‘management therapy.  It would help me to be able to open up to someone and talk about it but its a double edged sword for me.  I’m a closed person, even with my family, and there are things I will never talk about to anyone because I don’t want to be judged.  And I don’t care what anyone says EVERYONE judges you its just human nature.

Posted by wesleyutwood on Jul 22, 2014 at 1:05pm

Hey Wesley congrats on your sobriety. I’m so with you! I had to go to an anger management course while I was in high school, because I didn’t process my emotion correctly. I was pissed just being in the course! Yet here’s the thing I realize I’m going deeper and deeper into an hole I don’t want to go into and I understand where you are coming from with not telling the therapist some private stuff. But I still think you should see someone buddy! I’ve seen my therapist for almost for an year now and I’m just letting him in my head so to speak. He does try to not let his expressions and body language show how he feels when I’m being an brat! I was gifted/ cursed with the ability to read body language! I got in an major argument this morning with my mom this morning and I’m not happy with myself about it:0(

Posted by Jjingram on Jul 22, 2014 at 5:05pm

Congrats on your sobriety, I know how difficult that can be each day to stay that way and during stressful situations sometimes it’s all one can do to make it through the minutes. I also understand not wanting to be judged and your right is his human nature. On the other hand I have been seeing a counselor that specializes in ADHD and though sometimes I do know that she has a “are you serious’ body language about how I have handled something, she is also very helpful in giving me strategies and techniques that have been helpful when I get overly irritated and angry.

It has really helped a lot. I just turned 40 so it’s never too late to start living a happier life. You are in control of your choices, maybe not anger management but just some counseling from someone who is experienced in ADHD so they understand where the behaviors are coming from even if they don’t agree with them. They can give you some strategies to respond more appropriately the next time that situation comes up.

Keep on Keeping on and be proud of your accomplishments!

Posted by cheroyley on Jul 22, 2014 at 5:15pm

Amen Cheroyle :0)

Posted by Jjingram on Jul 22, 2014 at 11:07pm

I have to say the ‘Believe in the Lord’ mantra wears thin awfully quickly.  Really, just how much effort would the ‘Almighty’ have to expend to rid the world of this debilitating disorder?  Or the outrages in the Middle East.. Or that lovely girl down the block with brain cancer.  My answer to such folks is ‘the good lord helps those who help themselves’.  If you take that line of reasoning to it’s logical conclusion, the ‘Almighty’ seems less so.

I can tell you that when you hit your stride, things go right.  You just have to find that stride.  College helps, if you can do it.  I was fortunate in that regard.  After 25 years of insanity, I have found a nitch teaching chemistry in a public school in one of America’s far flung territories… 

Your have to find your place… and for us it’s tough.  14 some odd jobs, most ending unfavorably…  At 54 I am feeling really lucky.

I hope you don’t have to wait as long.  Do your best to understand this malady we have and move forward with that knowledge.

Hang tough…

Posted by LakeLife on Jul 24, 2014 at 6:23pm

I don’t know where I fit in!

Posted by Jjingram on Aug 01, 2014 at 2:34pm

We need to find where we fit in. I was diagnosed with HDHD over 2 years now. I always knew that I am different, compare with a lot’s of people I knew.  Had no idea that had a name, HDHD. I been there in the past, where I felt that I do not belong anywhere. However with the help of a therapist, and having med’s, changed, adjust, I am functioning better. I feel better too.  I got in touch with my self, and God helped me so much. I use to look around, to see where can I fit. And there are also so many areas were our needs are. Now I look from a different prospective, and I ask my self; ‘‘where do I want to go, or what I want to do!’‘, which is giving me more control over the situation.  Start small, the improvement will come.  God bless you.

Posted by ANALOVEDBYGOD on Aug 21, 2014 at 8:11am

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