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ADHD in Boys

ODD worse than ever!

My son is 9 years old , and since summer break started his ODD is worse than ever! He thinks he doesn’t have to do a thing( chores) that all he wants to do is watch tv and play video games. Argues and fight about everything . Things are getting out of control. He doesn’t care about consequences . We have to cancel summer camp and activities, we are taking away tv, video games, time with friends and it doesn’t work . Help please!

Replies

I have a 13 year old boy who is very much the same way. As much as I look forward to summer vacation with my children I also dread it because I know how hard it is going to be.  My son does better at school with his behavior than he does at home. As much as we try to be consistent at home, we just aren’t able to replicate the consistency that school offers and that is why I think he does better at school. My suggestion is rather that taking away his privileges for screen time, etc when he misbehaves, try the reverse and reward him screen time etc for behaving.  Make him earn everything.  Make a chart if it will help and write down all the chores etc even things like summer reading, playing outside, playing with the pets. Everything you want him to accomplish outside of video games. When he does the work that is expected of him then he earns tv and video game time.  He has to be reminder that he is not entitled to have these games but they are privileges. I believe these games feed into their ADHD issues because they are soo engaging and offer immediate reward when playing them. I think it’s easy for the kids to become addicted to them and be over the top angry when their “right” to play them is jeopardized.  It may get a little worse before it gets better but you have to take back control of these privileges. Best of luck to you.

Posted by one day at a time on Jun 19, 2014 at 6:54pm

Do you think taking away camp is a good idea? I wouldn’t use that to punish my son because an idle mind causes havoc. When my son gets bored, he is someone’s worst nightmare. Also is your son on medication? I don’t stop my son’s medication because it helps with impulsive behavior and attention. He loves it at his Stem Program Summer Camp. He needs to be active and I wouldn’t use camp as a punishment.

Posted by vabronxboogie on Jun 19, 2014 at 7:00pm

All my son’s behaviors went away with trying different medications for over a yr and a half WITH VYVANSE. ONE PILL.

Posted by vabronxboogie on Jun 19, 2014 at 7:00pm

I have my 8 year old involved in Karate, Swimming Lessons and Gym this summer. He still has his moments but it is not that bad. I continue to give him his medicine during the summer. He is on Intunive.

Posted by Chelley on Jun 19, 2014 at 11:59pm

My son takes Strattera and it works wonderful. We don’t take breaks from it. I guess is only all the changes. He does really good at school too.
And yeah making him to earn everything is a good idea. I tried it today and it worked! Thanks

Posted by kptica on Jun 20, 2014 at 4:33am

Calling off the camp eas in the air because I was mad. He really wants to go with hos friend so he has to work really hard to earn it

Posted by kptica on Jun 20, 2014 at 4:35am

It sounds like you are dealing with a few issues all at once.

1. Discipline is tricky with kids with ADHD. Punishment often doesn’t work. Keeping things positive is usually a better strategy. Here are some behavior problems and appropriate discipline strategies for each that work for kids with ADHD. http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/882.html

2. Set up a reward system, like having to earn screen time, for example. Here’s how: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/3577.html

3. There are also very particular strategies for managing ODD. This webinar with Dr. William Dodson on defusing defiance was excellent. Listen to the archive here: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/10783.html.

I hope these strategies help. The bottom line is to focus on reward instead of punishment and try to create routines and consistency for summer. Above all, keep calm and that will help your child stay calm and help you with appropriate discipline.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jun 20, 2014 at 5:36pm

A therapist and some parenting books suggested taking things away as consequences to negative behavior.  Even suggested NOT going anywhere until behavior improved. This works with one of my daughters but the other daughter (ADD) this made things so much worse!!  Since around age 5, only positive reinforcement works which is not always that easy.  If she knows someone is upset with her she gets even more upset so taking things away is just too much for her to handle.

Posted by KaysMama on Jun 22, 2014 at 6:35am

I have the same issues with my 13 year old…im trying to keep him in a routine and made a list of things he has to do every morning..its small and simple get dressed, put your clothes in the hamper and make the bed. every morning he comes down and i ask did you do your list? he will say yes i did. i go look and he hasent done any of it…he lies constantly. and tells tall tales which are getting worse. ive tried everything..even just explaining why you shouldnt lie.. ive been to a meeting with his counselors and teacher at school and they have issues with the truth as well and gave me a how not to lie list for him to follow..didnt work..:o(

Posted by barb1970 on Jun 29, 2014 at 4:52am

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