Parents of ADHD Children
Oh, this breaks my heart
Well, here I go again making a decision that makes my son (ADHD, written expression disorder, processing issues, exec functioning issues, high intelligence) very sad, but that is probably in his best interest.
He started out in public school, with noisy hallways, large class sizes, and teachers who had no clue how to work with ADHD kids. We did have two really good teachers, but the others were pretty damaging to his self-esteem. My son was starting to slip through the cracks, and the social environment was getting very hard on such a sensitive kid.
With limited choices, we moved to a Montessori charter school. He LOVES being able to choose his subjects and he loves the campus, which is out in the country, quite a ways away. Problem is that the self-directed style that is the Montessori method is not working for him. No surprise there, but it was worth a try, and he does love the calm atmosphere and the absence of bullying. The school doesn’t like having to provide extra assistance to kids like my son though, and they complain about it often. He needs too many reminders. He’s not getting enough done. He can’t stay on task. Yes, I know all that. Yes, I know he needs reminders. That’s why he was finally approved for an IEP, but they still don’t want to cooperate and I get tired of the complaints.
I know he needs more structure and guidance. But, hearing your son say each day that he LOVES school and can’t wait to get there is worth a ton in my book. But, this school also can’t provide OT or very much in the way of ESE services in those areas where he is deficient, like writing/thought organization, so I went today and looked at the only remaining school in town that I hadn’t yet considered.
It’s a small charter school, with small class sizes, and they have an OT on site. They also have an ESE person on-site. I toured the school and I’m okay with it. It’s nothing to look at compared with what he has now, but they do provide the all-important services that he is currently missing, and that has to be my priority, I guess.
My son cried when I told him that I want to take him to see the school on Friday, and that I think it’s a move that we need to make, especially since he starts middle school next year and he could start along with the other newbies. If he waits another year, he would be jumping in mid-stream when friendships are already established, and it would be impossible for him socially. So, the time to do it is at the end of this school year, which is nearly upon us.
He loves where he is, but it’s not right for him academically and he’s not learning as much as he should and he’s not getting the services he needs. His love of the school carried a lot of weight with me for a while, and he has been there for two years, but he needs more if he is going to develop the academic skills he needs to move forward.
He hurts right now and that makes me hurt SO, so much. I hate being responsible for that pain, and hate that we were both brought to tears, once again, by a system that just doesn’t do enough to help these kids who learn differently and have difficulty conforming to what’s “normal.” It breaks my heart, again. And my son’s heart, too. :(
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