Anxiety and ADHD
I had my first panic attack on the light rail a few mornings ago. Thought it was something physical, until I got to work and googled: nausea, lightededness; bright light; pressure in head - came up with generalized anxiety disorder - all related to a misspelled word (client’s name) the day before, which I stressed about all night and woke up stressed, calling myself an idiot.
I feel as if I need control, yet nothing is in my control. I called my husband and asked him to stand ready in case I needed him to pick me up, but slowly the feelings subsided and I ended the day at work on a more positive note.
Then, fast forward to home that evening, my husband proceeded in one moment to tell me how worried he was, and then the next moment called me horrible names based on our financial issues, called me a spoiled B because I wanted my car in the garage due to the snowfall and my leaving for work early in the morning - and him not having to leave the house at all. This he did while I was rearranging the garage to make room for both the cars.
I have decided that I want a divorce after 23 years of marriage. Now I feel in control. Am I crazy? But I do feel that things for him are not good, he is always angry about something and when I’m upset, he begins to lash out at me. So he is no moral or emotional support when I need it the most. My dog is more support than he is.
What do you think?
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