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Prayers?

I have ADD (not the hyperactive kind, the sluggish kind that internalizes the restlessness), PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression.  I work in the family business (with my unsupportive and very dysfunctional family) because I felt like a failure at normal jobs and working for my father (that doesn’t think highly of me and therefore has lower expectations of my punctuality and work performance usually) has gone pretty well.  But this isn’t where I want to be for the rest of my life.  I know God has better things planned for me but I feel stuck and like no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to make a change in my quality of life, and I pray about it all the time and I’m sure there’s a reason He’s not helping me get to a better place in life, but I’m starting to lose hope and I feel so alone and misunderstood. People think my ADD is just an excuse to be lazy and inconsiderate (I’m ALWAYS late, & recently I was interrupted before wishing my older brother - who’s really too old to make such a huge deal about it - happy birthday and then in the chaos of the day - what with helping dad when his back went out and had to go to the doc at last minute - forgot about not getting to wish my bro. happy b-day and now he doesn’t talk to me and his wife is just as standoffish now… it’s one thing after another in my life and has been since I was little, and I’m so tired of it.  I’m so discouraged about it all lately.  And to top it off, I kind of felt yesterday like my new doctor was kind of dismissive about my reasons for having PTSD (it’s from complex childhood traumas and abuse, but it was several milder things that put together, and the lack of support and means to cope, that make life scary for a child to a degree that they stay on edge), and I don’t know if I’m misreading him (with the ADD, I seem to think what someone means is plain as day but then I find out that they didn’t mean what I thought they did at all… It’s so confusing and frustrating.  I feel like though we speak English, it’s like other people and I are speaking such different styles of english that it might as well be totally different languages) and about my wanting to treat everything as naturally as possible (he got on a soapbox about the herb/naturopathic industry)... Anyway, I’m really at wit’s end about all this and could really use prayers and encouragement.  Thanks in advance.

Replies

I understand what it means to be misunderstood and beat down, I was raised the same way.I lived a miserable life until I was Born again. As a child of God I have learned through the bible that what waits for me in heaven is much greater than the fallen life I live on earth. The Apostle Paul learned to be content in all situations, whether he was in jail or preaching in a synagogue. I am learning to live my life as a contented person, because no matter what life throws at me it cannot tarnish meeting Jesus for the first time, and living in heaven for eternity. Pray to God and ask him to give you a contented spirit, it will change the way you now look at life on earth. I have just spent some time in prayer for you in hopes that the misery you now experience may by the grace of God be replaced with contentment. Hold your head up, do not give up, and lay all your burdens at the feet of Jesus. God bless you, my hope is that many people will pray for you.
John

Posted by Rancher John on Aug 07, 2014 at 4:35pm

Thank you, John.  I do look forward to seeing Him after all this, but all this takes so dern long, so it’s hard sometimes to look beyond the mess I sit in sometimes.  I have sort of felt better the last hour or so, though! Focusing more on happy stuff (interests that I tend to not be “into” when depression’s hitting) & working on dusting off and getting back up&atem; smile

Posted by violetaurora27 on Aug 07, 2014 at 4:40pm

Working in any business in any capacity simply to avoid the typical responsibilities of being a good employee does not help you become what you most want to be.  Do you know which career you want?  Have you done any career assessments to see which direction you could excel in? 

Sometime when we have lived with our ADD problems long enough, we think in terms of taking the easy way out.  That is neither helpful nor productive.  Yes, you have a paycheck, but you lose more and more of your self-esteem and that leaves you feeling useless and unwanted.

God can fix anything.  I have never doubted that for a moment.  What does make us wonder about God’s capacity and ability are the times when He does not help us.  Could it be that these are the times when He expects us to do our best to find the solution?  We all know that it isn’t because He is too busy, so what else could it be?

Like many others before me, I really had no hope until I was “born again”.  But that opened a door that I did not know existed before.  That door was the door with the message overhead, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Prayer works!  Prayer without a purpose other than not having to do the work needed is often left unanswered because He is waiting for us to take our first step.  He is there, you know.  He is ready to help us in our walk.  He does not walk our walk for us.  If He did, we would learn nothing.

read Jeremiah 29:11-13, then read Matthew 7:7,8 and see how He works these things out in us; not just for us.  We have a responsibility to God.  We cannot hold him to blame when we do not do our part.

It is not always the easy way to go, but I have found that I can do nearly every difficult thing when I remember that He is with me through it all.

Keep us posted on how you are doing!

I have added you to my prayer list, too.

Posted by Dianne in the Desert on Aug 07, 2014 at 10:11pm

Good for you for reaching out to others for help and support.  It sounds like you are in a tough spot right now and recognize that things have to change.

I know you mentioned that you want to treat everything as natural as possible.  But would you consider a trial period on medicine?  At first I was very reluctant to put my son on medicine, but truly, it has been the best thing we have ever done.  He is now 15 and totally supports this. He tells me it really makes a difference. Talk to your doctor about it. It isn’t for everyone - but it’s an idea. We have had great success with Concerta which is a long acting ( 8 hours) stimulant. Do your homework.

Also - find out as much as you can about ADHD since it can be an underlying condition that effects so many other things (depression etc.).  Watch Dr. Russell Barkley on YouTube.  He is one of the leading experts on the topic.  A good overview is a video titled “Essential Ideas for Parents” (also on this website).  He had written many books, and has one specifically for adults. You can probably get them in your local library. The more you know about your condition, the more informed you will be about treatment choices etc.

I hope my information helps. And remember - God is holding your hand through all this.  You may not always feel that “hand” on you, but he is there. Always.

Posted by staypositive on Aug 08, 2014 at 1:10am

Hi Violet,
  I felt like I was reading about my own personality and life when I read your post, I know exactly how you feel!
I don’t work with my dad, but I have a similar experience regarding jobs! I am single and had always desired a family from a young age and never desired to be a “career woman” but since the Lord hasn’t seen fit(in His perfect will as I can finally see it now) to provide the husband that I felt to be his will for me,I have not had a choice as to not working since I’m not independently wealthy.grin  I have the same feelings as you described concerning job experiences and have at least tried to do my best but have also struggled and have worked since I graduated in 97. The last several years have been rocky since I was laid off from the place I worked at for 11 years (a mass lay off in 09) and the summer of ‘10’ was when I was diagnosed. Now I am working part time on a personal basis as a personal assistant to a dear Christian lady.I drive her around and help her with cleaning and projects around her house and there is hardly any personal physical assistance involved. Maybe that would be something to look into?  I don’t know, but it works out great because we are both very flexible in our schedule(and have somewhat simular personalities) though we have a set time we usually stick to.  I do need more work but this job is a blessing.I also always appreciate reading John’s wisdom and encouragement through his testimony! Thank you John, for the times you have encouraged me as well! I needed that reminder of laying my burdens at the feet of Jesus!! grin

Posted by gratekatsby on Aug 10, 2014 at 7:38am

P.S. I also feel very misunderstood and feel as if I’ve somehow managed in some way to alienate or unintentionally offend, most of my friends. It makes me want to move away and start over(except for my family living here also). I will be praying for you! grin

Posted by gratekatsby on Aug 10, 2014 at 7:46am

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