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ADHD in Women

Pregnant with ADHD - struggling!

Hi, I am non medicated (can’t due to also having bipolar).  I am now 5 months pregnant.  It’s all going well, but frankly, I am sooooo disorganised, and chaotic, and struggling to keep my life together.

I have all the skills to cope, normally.  But I am finding that with the tiredness, poor sleep, and hormones, I am finding that the best laid plans are blown out of the water.

It is a naturally busy time for me, we are trying to finish the house we bought last year, before I hit the last Trimester, I am taking an intensive German Language course, as I live in Germany, and I do quite a lot of voluntary work in my church too.  I also have two big dogs, and a massive garden we are trying to tame, so life is quite full. 

My moodiness is driving me nuts, I have days where I can’t stop crying, but I know it isn’t depression, it is like just getting an intense hit of the blues, that disables me, I sleep bad, that means the day following collapses, or I go hyper and get so much done, to compensate for all the days that I am down, I end up just plain exhausted.

I want to try planning more again, and am getting my husband on board with helping me, but UGH!  I am just finding it really hard.  I am sooooo frustrated, because I was on top of things, and doing well, and I am smart and capable, but right now, it’s like my brain has fallen out.  I am a zombie, and frankly I am worried about how I will cope with my daughter when she arrives in August!

If you have any online resources, or links, or advice, anything is welcome.

I am looking at getting back into FlyLady again, too.  Was going great guns, but then lost the plot!

Cheers,
smile

Replies

I am pregnant too (only 7 weeks though), and have been struggling with the same things- just feeling so disorganized and misplacing things everywhere. I sometimes just end up sitting on the floor crying with how frustrated I am with myself grin

However, my husband has to constantly help to re-center me and remind me that above everything else, the baby and the baby’s health is #1 priority. What this means is to not over-obligate myself, rest, and be good to myself as often as I can- to just give myself a break.

So I would just work on prioritizing things as best you can, learn to say “no” to extra obligations, and ask yourself “is this stress really more important than the health of my baby?”

I hope this helps grin

Posted by hsliles on Apr 09, 2014 at 3:54pm

Thanks, I was really ill in the first trimester with morning sickness and gastritis, so it knocked me out.  I hve been feeling like I am playing catch-up ever since!

I will bear this in mind, having a sorting stuff out, planning etc session with hubs tonight, so hope we can figure things out.
smile
I know the sitting on the floor crying thing…me too. Hugs, hsliles! xx

Posted by Wuftytufty on Apr 09, 2014 at 4:06pm

Hi wuftytuffty!

What you describe sounds like “pregnancy brain” to me—I had the same over-emotional, confused dysfunction when I was pregnant, and I don’t have ADHD. I imagine ADHD only amplifies it. wink

I agree with hsliles, prioritize and get as much rest as possible. You are one person, and you are growing a new life—that takes an immense amount out of you physically. Get as much rest as you can now, because those opportunities will be few and far between once the baby arrives.

As for once you are a mom (with ADHD), there’s a great website run by Terry Matlen, called ADD moms. Check it out for great tips and advice on parenting while you have ADHD yourself.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Apr 09, 2014 at 4:37pm

When I was pregnant, I was not medicated either.

By the way, in my experience many people with ADD, including myself, get misdiagnosed with bipolar. I’m not a Dr. but it may be possible that you were also.

Pregnancy brain is a culprit. I just tell myself to do the best I can and that is all I can do.

Unload as much as you can. I would put the volunteering on hold. Also, if the house doesn’t get finished before baby comes, it is ok. It will get finished someday.

Skip the garden for now unless it helps you relax. I would spend your energy, or what is left of it…ha ha, on growing the human being inside of you. I think for me, focusing on that was good for me.

Maybe when you study German incorporate teaching the baby by speaking to her. It might be relaxing and fun. Your husband can join in too.

It is true what they say. Everything changes when the baby is born. How you feel about the world changes. You will have to make plans as you go.

It may seem weird now, but I promised myself to take a shower everyday. Even if it was night time. It helped a lot.

Hope this helps!

Posted by Tinybluemoon on Apr 09, 2014 at 7:45pm

There is that problem with being pregnant and trying to do everything that you were doing before pregnancy and not letting go of what is not going to work when the baby arrives.

First of all, differentiate between the things that you are doing now and what you will be doing once the baby arrives.  You simply will not have time to do all that you are doing now.  Babies and their care take a lot of time out of your days, so figure out which things you will have to let go of for a start. Begin letting go of those now.

Without overloading your time, determine how you will handle the things that you need to get done every day and work out a schedule for them that does not leave you exhausted.  Yes, there is such a thing as being too tired to sleep.

When the baby arrives, ask for help for the first few days so that you can recover more quickly from the childbirth experience.  If you will be nursing your baby, you will probably not have medication then either.

Super Woman was a fictional character.  Time is not your problem right now; energy is.  One of the things that I had to start doing for myself was doing only calming things before bed.  The calmer I was when I tried to go to sleep, the better my sleep was.

Posted by Dianne in the Desert on Apr 09, 2014 at 8:48pm

Hiya, thanks for the comments.

I think the biggest reason I am so busy is because I am trying to wrap up a lot of stuff, I know I won’t be able to do when the baby comes.  So effectively I am trying to clear the space and time!

Re mixing ADHD and Bipolar, I was diagnosed because I have had genuine mania and psychosis, along with very long and deep periods of depression, so it is certain that I have Bipolar.  However, I found out about the ADHD by accident after this, and it explained why I wasn’t getting “better” from the Bipolar.  Once I started using coping skills and condition management stuff for ADHD, I found that I started getting much “Better”.  Which for me, is a real blessing.  I was very much ending up stuck in the mental health system….  I can’t take ADHD Meds, because it will make me manic.  Antidepressants make me manic too.  The only medication I can take, is antipsychotics, that slow me down sooooo much, but also give me dopamine deficiency, hence now being totally unmedicated, but taking a lot of supplements, which I have had checked out to make sure they are safe in pregnancy.  But really there aren’t any meds I can safely take that don’t have such bad side effects for me, that they make me hideously ill, thus making me more mentally unstable!  Sadly I am very sensitive to medications.  It isn’t really an option, unless I am in crisis.

I am planning to take 10days of rest after the birth.  This will be aiming for complete bed rest, or at least treating it like a bad case of Flu, and having a lot of rest.  I am hoping that will mitigate the risk of a Bipolar flare up (Psychosis or depression) and help me get back on my feet.

I am committed to quite a few things up until June, but then I can hand them over to others, or they are just finished, so I guess I just have to do my best to remain organised and keep plodding through.  I am asking for help a lot, and accepting offers of help too.

Thanks for the comments.

Posted by Wuftytufty on Apr 11, 2014 at 12:25pm

Try essential oils, safe for you and your wee unborn babe…..natural, not harmful and thousands of uses

InTune
Pure Focus
Peaceful Child

And Much more to help relieve other disorders, common colds, etc
Good luck

Posted by Allisue on Apr 16, 2014 at 10:53am

It is often suggested that genetics is one cause of ADHD, so yeah, there’s a chance your baby might have it

Posted by GarrettHnatiuk on Apr 18, 2014 at 1:08pm

Just thought I would update - I did quit the German course in the end.  My German is good enough for what I need right now, and I think I was trapped in the thinking that I MUST do it, and wasn’t allowing myself a way out.  I had a week off, and then when I was due to go back, I felt so stressed and started unravelling again, I realised I had to get on top of this!

I am still doing the exam at the end of May, as good enough for that.  So will still get the accreditation.

Since doing that, I then got a monster cold, so was forced to take it easy for two weeks!  But overall I am much better now, and much happier.  I can comfortably meet all my other commitments and look after myself and rest a lot.

Thanks for the comments.

Garrett, with Bipolar, ADHD and my hubby being on the high functioning Autistic scale, frankly I would be completely amazed if our child didn’t have something from that mix!! wink  At least we are both continuing to learn how to handle our conditions better, which means we can teach our child from the get go. smile

Posted by Wuftytufty on Apr 29, 2014 at 1:55pm

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