Couples With One ADHD Partner
Relationship with ADHD Partner for 9 years
DISCUSSION REPOSTED BY MODERATOR TO OPEN COMMENTS
9 years in Relationship with ADHD partner
Posted by Petalouda on Oct 29, 2013 at 8:39am
ive recently split from my partner of 2 years. i have 2 children with him. he was diagnosed with ADHD in childhood, i knew this but only since splitting up have a actually looked into what it means.
i think it explains alot of the problems we have been having. he talks, alot, i feel the only part i play in conversations is to listen.
it seems he learned early in childhood that if he could get people to feel sorry for him he could get his own way.
unfortunately i learned in my childhood that everything that goes wrong is my fault.
i feel really stupid that i didnt look into ADHD before, i really didnt realise it has quite the major effect on relationships that it does. he loses his temper, shouts and swears obscenities at me, if we are in a public place he seems to enjoy shouting at me in front of an audience. will often shout lies eg that i batter him black and blue, that i am a slag, its all lies to humiliate me, im so dumbfounded when he starts. i have resorted to just sticking my fingers in my ears. if i cant hear it, it cant affect me.
i spoke to his mother about it for the first time last night her response was “he has always been highly strung, he used to smash up my house when he was a kid, its just the way he is” he hasnt been on any medication or done anything to manage the condition in the 9 years i have known him. except smoke weed heavily. i have kicked him out many many times over the years but i always end up feeling sorry for him and taking him back, i dont want to do that this time. i still need to have contact with him so he can see our children. can anybody recommend any resources so i can fully understand what behaviours are caused by adhd and how i can handle him?
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