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ADHD in Boys

Saying "I Love You"

Hi, all: I’m new here and have a question I’ve been wanting to ask for so long… My son is 13 and was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago; we are planning to start his first med trial (Focalin) next wk. He has not said “I love you” to me - or anyone - for roughly 4 yrs. My husband & I tell him we love him all the time and he says “uh huh” or has no response. He used to say it when he was younger. I am so sad about this. Is this an “ADD thing” that others have experienced (or am I the only “unloved” mom out there?)? Thanks in advance for your insights.

Replies

Dear Msfmom,
    From this stay-at-home-dad’s perspective, what you are experiencing is normal.  I have an 8yo ADHD boy who started Intuniv (I believe Focalin will be added soom) a couple months abo.  I also have a crazy 2yo boy (3 next month), who we are hoping is not ADHD but time will tell.  Our 8yo used to be affectionate with the “I Love You’s” all the time, sometimes even without us saying it first.  My wife and I both noticed it tapered off in the past 2 years (same time as ADHD diagonosis - although I never really considered that).  Our little guy has just started saying “I Love You”, both on his own and in response to us.  I recall this being about the same time our older boy started saying it.  My opinion has been that our 8yo simply outgrew this phase of his development, and that it is typical for any boy (not just ADHD).  I am 1 of 9 boys in my family, and saying “I Love You” to our parents has always been easy to my 2 sisters, but not to us boys.  My two cents is he loves you just as much, he just isn’t comfortable saying it.  Knowing my Dad is 85 and won’t be around forever has finally allowed me to start saying “I Love You” to him again in the past year.  I hope you don’t have to wait that long.  Good luck with everything…Ben

Posted by DadOfAddBoy on Jul 18, 2014 at 1:45pm

My opinion is that it’s mainly a Teenage Boy “problem.”

Posted by BC on Jul 18, 2014 at 4:38pm

DadOfAddBoy: Thank you for your reply. You must definitely know about boys with all those brothers! Good luck with your little ones smile

Posted by Msfmom on Jul 18, 2014 at 10:17pm

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