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Parents of ADHD Children

Seconds from getting expelled from school.

My son is adopted, had him since he was 17 days old.  He is in the 7th grade I have always had some issues regarding school, but this year has been the worse. He has a 504 plan, which the school and myself abide by, but my son won’t.  He feels the staff is harassing him, he says they follow him all over the school, the RSP teacher will pull him out of class, which he then feels embarassed.  He doesn’t want to be singled out.  However, due to his behavior there is no choice.  He has been mocking the teachers, calling them names, he has been swearing at the teachers and outright defiant.  As a mother and just a human being, you can only handle so much and this school is at their wits end as well as I.  I have been called numerous times to pick him up from school, which is affecting my job and I explain this to him, but he apparently doesn’t care.  His behavior rules are house, my daughter said to me “mom I just want to get in the car and there is no yelling” I felt horrible, because she did not ask for this I have but this on my family,  I’m depressed and wishing I had not adopted.  I don’t know how to make anything right for him. 

Looking for any advice.  I wish there was a special school for him, but I have researched and in my area there isn’t. 

Thanks for any help.

Replies

I don’t know if you have tried this or even want to try this, but my son is extremely mouthy and argumentative when he is not taking any meds. He is on two different meds, one is a stimulant, Daytrona and one, a non-stimulant, Intuniv. I can’t say that he is a model student when he is on the meds. He still sees an OT every week to learn how to function socially in the classroom, but when he is on these meds, he has the wherewithal to focus on what they are telling him and why it is important and try to do it. What they seem to do is give him the ability to stop and think about what he is about to do and whether or not he really should do that thing.

If you child is already on meds, it may be time to get them reevaluated. My son is seeing an excellent developmental pediatrician at the Cleveland Clinic. Before that, he saw a doc at the Melmed Center in Scottsdale, Arizona. Both were helpful. I don’t know where you are, but if you haven’t already, maybe its time to see a specialist. I can’t imagine where we would be without my son’s docs.

If the Cleveland Clinic or Scottsdale is anywhere near you, please contact me and I will get you in touch with either doc. We travel 80 miles to Cleveland, but it used to be over 200 one way to Scottsdale. Its really worth considering.

Hope this is helpful to you. I apologize if it sounds like preaching. If you want to contact me, here is my email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Susan in PC, Ohio

Posted by SueH on Mar 18, 2014 at 4:32am

I second Susan.  No child wants to be out of control.
My son sounded like yours before he was diagnosed
and got treatment.  Life is manageable now, and we
realize how much he was hurting before he got the medication and behavioral plan that worked for him.

Posted by Lande on Mar 18, 2014 at 8:34am

Read the book “Lost at School” by Dr. Ross Greene and share it with the school too.

I also agree that you should talk to your son’s doctor or therapist about trying medication, if he’s not taking any, or adjusting medication if he is.

Lastly, take some time for yourself. I know it’s hard when you are dealing with so much, but it’s required to do your best for your kids—you simply can’t do that when you’re overwhelmed and frazzled. It can be as simple as a 20-minute walk or locking yourself in your room with a good book for a while.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Mar 18, 2014 at 5:50pm

Perhaps the things that are on the 504 that “single him out” are the issue.  7th grade is so hard!  Kids do not want to draw attention to any differences, let alone something that could be seen as negative. 
We have had great success with Tae Kwon Do.  My son has learned self-discipline and has gotten a lot of confidence.

Posted by Frenchy on Mar 20, 2014 at 8:02pm

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