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ADHD in Girls

Should I have my daughter tested?

I am a mom with ADD (diagnosed at age 40).  I have a husband and son both diagnosed with ADHD.  My 11 y.o. daughter is very bright and does fairly well in school, has never been a behavior problem in school, but she is forgetful, disorganized, talks incessantly, and moves all the time.  She is hypersensitive to any correction and always has been (its not just hormones), is impulsive, interrupts people a lot.  Even though she’s doing well in school, should we have her tested?  How urgent or important is it?


She sounds like myself.  If you want her to have a happy,  successful life, then yes!  Seek help or she might get frustrated with her constant forgetfulness and difficulties with her social skills which could be anxious feeling s.

Posted by tinalunior83 on Nov 04, 2013 at 8:04am

My daughter, now 14, is much the same—very disorganized, super messy, and forgetful. Her preschool teacher brought someone in to evaluate for ADHD at the age of 3. They evaluated her and then basically said, “You cannot diagnose ADHD at age 3!”

She had straight As all through elementary school and seemed to control her talkativeness during school out of fear of getting into trouble. Since we were seeing a counselor about her brother’s ADHD and her anxiety, I asked that everyone fill out the questionnaires in 5th grade to see if ADHD was a concern—I could see some traits for sure. The parent questionnaires screamed ADHD, but the teacher’s questionnaire showed zero issues, so she couldn’t be diagnosed with ADHD. 

Middle school allowed the forgetfulness and disorganization to rear it’s ugly head finally, but she was still able to get As and Bs (although teachers often let her turn in missing work and late assignments without penalty before report cards). She never had a behavior problem in school still. Never.

Now she started high school this year. Her first quarter 9th grade report card will have two Cs on it, the first Cs she’s ever had on a report card. Interestingly, she has been trying harder in school this year than any year prior, a lot harder. She knows her grades are important for getting into college and she wants to ensure she can go to college.

When I found out about the Cs, I asked her if it was missing homework, bad test grades, or not understanding the material. She said she didn’t understand a whole unit in math and did poorly on all the tests on that unit, pulling her grade down. She never once asked for help from her teacher or from her parents—never said she was struggling. In science, she said there was always material on the tests that they hadn’t reviewed in class. She is gifted and has never had to study—only do homework assignments. I think the science grade is a reflection of needing help with study skills and knowing she has to read the text too, even if the teacher didn’t tell the class to read it.

All of that, the black hole of a locker, and loosing her $300 tablet by absent-mindedly leaving it somewhere, points to ADHD, or at least Executive Functioning Deficits, to me. I am wondering if I should again ask our therapist about questionnaires to see if she should be evaluated. She is terrified of taking any medication though (her anxiety taking over) so I don’t know how much good a diagnosis would do. I am already employing everything I know from parenting my son with ADHD to help her. At least I’m starting to now, I’ve been very focused on teaching him skills for a long time, and her lack of skills is only recently becoming an issue.

So I’m in a similar quandary, but I do think it would be prudent to have your daughter tested.

ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Nov 04, 2013 at 7:48pm

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