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ADHD in Women

Should be a relief.. Right?

Hello all
I was diagnosed with combined adhd three days ago. It explains a lot. And I felt relief for about A day an a half. Now I feel angry and cheated. I had so many difficulties in school. I wasnt the smart one but I sure was the fun one. I drank. A lot. Smoked a lot of things and did all the things you don’t want your kids doing. My life has changed significantly. I have two beautiful kids and a supportive partner. I’ve been fighting with my nature for a long time. I’m restless. My recent diagnosis explains it but will it stop it? I’m forgetful, impulsive and speak my mind and I’m ok with that cause that’s who I am. But I want to be happy in the now and not consumed by this motor that keeps saying go go go!! More more more!! Does anyone else feel this consuming restlessness?
How do you deal with it? Maybe it’s just me… ?


Yeah, I hear you. The diagnosis won’t stop it. You just learn how to manage your symptoms better.

Posted by organizationschmorganization on Jan 11, 2014 at 4:06am

I am the exact same way and I am trying to figure out how to manage it!!  I do use medication but a fairly low dose and it does help calm me somehow but I still have to keep busy.  My days are fairly active, being a stay at home Mom of an amazing two year old girl but even with meds, I still find myself restless, just not as much!!  (I fear I am rambling now but I know you all can relate, sure does annoy people sometimes).

I am trying to get in touch with my free spirit or wild child old self only with a wiser mind now!!  Does this make any sense??  Getting back to things I once loved and trying to do it with a lot more focus this time around!!

Relearning flute!!  Trying to paint, which my toddler loves too so it is fun for both of us!!  Dancing and singing too, I’m awful but my toddler is my biggest fan!!
Learning to crochet, quiet but busy…...still in progress!!
We’ll see how it goes!!!

Did any of this help??  I know we are all different but everyone of us has a super power or two, we just have to find it…...I plan on trying everything until I find mine!!!

Posted by Moleena on Jan 11, 2014 at 4:51am

Hi y’all..just diagnosed in 2013 @ age 51.never had a clue when i was a kid,i was straight a student & was 2 b put in gifted program,but my father wouldn’t allow it.back in the day i never heard of adhd.i understand the restless feeling as i feel like a caged animal.i do more activities than someone 1/2 my age.was put on straterra but that made me more hyped feeling,but did have great focus on tasks.i have lots of migraines & seemed 2 reduce made me feel sick & bloated.  I appreciate everyone on here & advice as i’m learning as well…has anyone grown up in an abusive environment? Mine was physical(lots of beatings in the head)& sexual abuse..Bless u all!

Posted by specialk4762 on Jan 11, 2014 at 5:05am

Hello again
Thank you everyone for the replies. I will deffinately check out your links Mitzi. I’m 37 so I guess we’ve all fallen through some cracks. Moleena you were truly helpful and absolutely right. I need new experiences. I love drawing. Maybe I’ll love painting or coal..
I needed to know I’m not the only one.  Thank you all so much.
Specialk4762 I’m sorry for what you went through. I did not share the same experiences you did but I hope you’ve found support and peace.

Posted by Jensjen on Jan 11, 2014 at 6:10am

I just encouraged my recent x boyfriend at age 45 to push for a seriously strong diagnosis. I have it, but his is pretty strong when he’s anxious about life in general.
I think between heavy child abuse and misdiagnosis of bi-polar disorder, the specialists totally missed the fact that he’s ADD! I hope it gets straightened out for him.
*I am 41, female, and was 29 and had already graduated from college before I got diagnosed.

Posted by survivor84 on Jan 11, 2014 at 7:22am

That “Motor running” thing goes on with me, too.  I do not have all of the answers for that.  For myself, it means that I stay busy enough to not get “stuck”, but free of obligation enough to allow my creativity time to do what it can to make life beautiful.

Although the calendar says I am 67 I do not feel that old, nor do I act that old.  On the other hand, I am well out of my 20s and 30s, so I cannot try to keep up with that crowd either.

I challenge myself with new ways to do things inside and outside of my home.  My husband of 46 years is very patient with my efforts and sometimes helps me finish things.  He loves the creativity I have, but he is also my greatest welcome “nag” when it is time to do the routine things that always need doing.

Develop a kind of POD, Plan of he Day, that gives you enough time to do the things that you must do, while leaving you time to do the things that you love to do or want to learn how to do.

Posted by Dianne in the Desert on Jan 11, 2014 at 8:53am

Jensjen   My email is Moleena72@yahoo in case you ever want to talk or have creative ideas etc!!:-)

Posted by Moleena on Jan 11, 2014 at 9:01am

I feel your pain for sure. I think this is the hardest thing about ADHD - enjoying the moment. I used to self-medicate the restlessness and it led to all sorts of trouble and heartache. Now I treat my restlessness mostly by accepting it and accepting it is part of who and that it doesn’t make me a bad person. It does have some negative consequences, particularly in my marriage), but it has upsides as well:I am funny and people like me (for the most part!) I can be very productive. I am a good multitasker. I have a lot of energy.

As I said, acceptance of this attribute is key as well as finding a good *healthy* channel for it. A good support system (try seeking out an ADHD support group in your area) will do wonders in helping with this….

Good luck!

Posted by Lindsey R on Jan 11, 2014 at 11:17pm

I can relate about not doing well in school. I was fine in grade school, but when I got into Jr. High, I got boy crazy & had a lot of fun going to Friday nite Sock Hops.  I had a lot of problems concentrating on school work.  It never occurred to me or anyone else for me to be tutored, or maybe there was no such thing.  I did well in subjects like typing, English, home ec, gym.  I wasn’t expected to get good grades, because I was “just” going to get married & have a family.  My sister did go to college for one semester, (contrary to her parents)  met her future husband (as predicted) and worked until he finished school, & then got married.  She did, indeed get her Mrs. Degree.

Posted by loeysmall@aol.Com on Jan 14, 2014 at 7:34am

Wow…I recently found this website and let me tell you.  It is such a relief to know I’m not alone!  I was born a breech birth and my relatives used to say “She hit the ground running and hasn’t stopped since”.  I have a motor that is always on.  To be honest, I guess I’ve always known something about me was different, but until about a month ago, I never admitted that it might be a “condition” or an “illness” or whatever.  I guess it really hit home when I lost my last job because my boss said “you are a great employee, but your energy is just too intense”.  WOW! It’s like someone slapped me in the face.  It’s like someone telling you “you are not ok the way you are.”  I’m sure many of you can relate to the fact that now I am looking back over my whole adult life wondering how many jobs I have actually lost or didn’t get due to this ADHD.  How many relationships have failed because of it?  And the list goes on..

Posted by Turbo5150 on Jan 16, 2014 at 2:46pm

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