Couples With One ADHD Partner
Sick Spouse of ADHD Husband Looking for Guidance
I’m new to this group and need some guidance with regards to my husband’s behavior and possible course of treatment. To save time, please view my PROFILE BIO for some background on our current situation.
Like many partners in this group I have been subjected to a lot of verbal abuse by my husband. We discussed these issues and agreed to spend some time apart. I was actually surprised at how sure my husband sounded. Sure enough, 24 hours after my departure he was calling and apologizing saying he would to anything to help our relationship. This was expected yet unexpected because we had already talked about the situation beforehand. I told him not to worry and to focus on his therapy which he started on Thursday.
Apparently, he called his counselor on Monday and she recommended he “feng shui” the apartment which he interpreted as “go shopping”. We now have a new rug and wall decor. I was livid. I threatened divorce although I am in no position and currently physically unable to go through with it.
I just received a text telling me I’m about to run out of minutes for the month. I’m certain my husband has been on the phone non-stop with his family who encourages his behavior. He has not yet returned the items he bought.
I have NEVER resorted to name-calling and belittling although I know that it is common with non-ADD partners. I have treated my husband with respect and have always considered his feelings (he is VERY sensitive). I was told by an ADD support group moderator that I needed to be involved in the therapy/medication process. I have contacted my husbands counselor and even the clinical director of the program and have yet to receive a response. I will start my own counseling on Monday.
Have I overstepped my boundaries? Should I just let him be? Should I let him drown himself by spending whatever little we have left? His father is an addict and his two sisters also have money problems. I am seriously ill and have increasing medical debt.
The evaluation determined he had Major Depressive Disorder and unspecified ADHD but, from what my husband has told me, they’re not so concerned about the ADHD since he made it through school “just fine”. Any thoughts?
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