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ADHD in Boys

Six yr old twins

I am new. I have 6.5 yr old twin boys, first graders. they are not formally diagnosed with ADD or ADHD but I have known sine they were babies that they were different, one more so than the other. I have a 3 yr old boy as well and it seems as tho he is from a different gene pool altogether. the twins are almost unmanageable, together, at home and in public, At school they seem to be fine but are average academically. i am not aiming for scholars here. i just want succesful and confident boys and some peace at home. everything we do, every project, etc…seems to turn into a nightmare. they are always in their rooms and i am constantly trying to breathe, calm down and get thru anxiety/panic attacks. there are a lot of other variables here - too much to go into - as i’m sure other families have as well (finances, family deaths, etc)...i feel alone and trapped. i don’t want to medicate my kids and do a lot of natural herbs and supplelements as well as yoga for myself. i do take effexor tho. is family time supposed to be so horrendous??? just looking for support. thanks:)


I am so sorry and I understand, I don’t have twins but I have 4kids and there have been times when harmony was hard to come by. We mostly stopped doing family outings for 5 years as going out in public usually ended in an embarrassing event.
Reading The Explosive Child helped a lot
Also Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson did too.
This is a very supportive place for advice and venting, and for not being the only one .
Good luck
Take care

Posted by Anna from toronto on Sep 01, 2014 at 2:15pm

Hi ekraft,
Doing the yoga is excellent for it is very important that you look after yourself. There may also be one or two other feel-good, educational activities you could squeeze in for yourself.
Also you need allies, friends, family members or support group members who can listen and maybe help a little.
Also you might have a look around at physical things or emotional things which simply clutter, old toys, stuff you don’t need, rules which don’t help. Tossing out stuff can be liberating.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach on Sep 01, 2014 at 2:37pm

Do you get a break at all. I’d try and out them in some activities where they will burn a lot of energy. Limit screen time and let them burn energy outside.

Posted by Maceystars on Sep 02, 2014 at 2:35am

Hello Ekraft, I am also new here. I too have a 6.5 year first grader with ADHD.

As per my observation of my kid whenever he played with other ADHD or equally active kids, it ended up being an unpredictable and exponentially out of hands situation eventually. But he mostly liked such company only. So I used to gently diffuse such pairing and take him away to try diff game/garden/activity.

You cannot do that with ur own children.maybe-
Try pairing your 3 children differently if it works or becomes less chaotic without making it difficult for your younger one. May be it will help.

Reading always worked for my kid. We read any time of the day. May be keep it as a calming activity after a stormy situation. May be all 3 can sit and you read to them. Who sits close to you? Decide rules for that beforehand.

One-liners help a great deal too!

I am struggling with one. I can only imaging how you are managing! Hang in there! Take care.

Posted by Leanz on Sep 02, 2014 at 12:25pm

Don’t want you to feel judged, but you take a medication for depression, which is neurobiological.  ADHD is also neurobiological.

My belief is that as parents, it is our responsibility to give our kids all the tools they need to succeed in life.

For my ADHD sons, it is behavioral therapy, medication, a balance between structure and free play, good sleep, healthy diet and me making smart decisions.

Start with your pediatrician.  Be proactive and help your family be the happiest and the best they can be.  Good luck!

Posted by Pdxlaura on Sep 20, 2014 at 6:52pm

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