Please hang in there!  Not to sound bossy, but you need to find a doctor who will work with you on finding the right medicine(s) for YOU.  EVERYONE reacts differently to medicines.  You just haven’t found the right one(s) that work for you.  If you were a diabetic, you would take medicine if needed and change your diet.  There is not a difference in my book when it comes to mental health.  It’s usually chemical, but I’m not a doctor, so make sure you go see one ASAP.  Once you get the chemicals straightened out in your brain, you will be able to handle the work situation better.  I personally see an ARNP (registered nurse) at a psychiatrists’ office.  I’ve found that going to someone who specializes in mental disorders works the best.  I tried my general practitioner, but he was not specialized enough to understand how my ADD brain works and the anxiety that I have because of the ADD/past learning issues.  I’ve seen counselors in the past which has helped, but I ALWAYS make sure I see those who take care of my medicines.  When my medicines are working correctly, everything else seems to fall into place.  It is helpful to have some coping strategies which a good counselor can help you find what strategies work best for you.  Personally, being outside and exercising helps me the most. 

You are so young and have a full life in front of you.  Do yourself a favor and see a doctor.  You CAN do this!  I’ve felt similar feelings as you describe, so I can relate.  I was actually about your age too when I felt as you described.  Once I saw a psychiatrist and discovered it was A.D.D. things got better.  It was not just having a name for what I was feeling, but getting the tools (medicines, new coping strategies, etc) that I needed to help me function.  It’s overwhelming starting out in the real world and in a new job for that matter.  I understand.  I am now 39 years old, married, and have one child.  Take care of your brain first and good things will happen. 

http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

Above is a link to a website with crisis hotlines. I don’t know if they are good, but its just a phone call and maybe they can link you up with some help.

Don’t give up on yourself.  Maybe the answer is right around the corner.

When I start feeling anxious, I breathe in for 4 counts through my nose, hold for 8 and then release through my mouth for 4.  I read that deep breathing like this stimulates the vagus nerve which has something to do with relieving stress. 
I also find that exercise really helps. I do intervals of walking to warm up, run as fast as I can till I can’t and then repeat with the walking.  I saw a documentary about James Taylor how he suffered from being bipolar and very depressed. Intense exercise helped him. Its what got me started moving.

You might also see if there isn’t a support group for your condition.  Perhaps the members of that group may have tried things that might work for you.

If it helps, remember the things you like to do. Try to see the good in others rather than be afraid of their judgement. Everyone presents a veneer but has their own worries. They are not as perfect as you perceive them to be. Everyone carries a cross and its not always obvious.

I read some books on “Mindfulness Meditation” that I also found very helpful. I think that is the title of one of them.  I am reading a book by Harriet Lerner, Phd titled” Dance of Fear;Rising above Anxiety, Fear and Shame to Be your Best and Bravest Self.  I think it might help you too.  Amazon sells it and I think it would likely be in the library as well.

You can get through this. You reached out to this site and that is a positive step. Forgive those who don’t understand you. If you don’t understand you yet, how can others? Forget about the past, move forward with love and gentleness for yourself and others. It doesn’t happen immediately. Its a life habit that takes a little time.

Mamatron—-I really enjoyed your post!  You are a great inspiration!

I suggest not to stay unmedicated. My experience is that even to be able to start getting into the natural methods to control your conditions, you need your meds.

If people exclude you, make sure you are the one who says hello first and starts the conversations. That works for me.

Maybe you don’t feel like you are needed, but if you wouldn’t be needed, you would not have been hired.

Therapists don’t just listen. There’s much more to a therapists’ work. They listen with a trained ear, and their responses are carefully thought in order to help you instead of just reassure you that life is crap or that everyone is against you.

If affordability is a problem, practice yoga, meditation, and long prayers like the rosary or repeating mantras.

I do a type of meditation that doesn’t take any science. Just walk back and forth for 30 minutes every day across a room or a hallway or sidewalk where you can have some quiet time. Then sit down for 30 minutes in a place where you can have some more quiet time and if possible, turn off the light.

During that time, resist any impulse. If you have thoughts and impulses, that’s okay, just don’t engage with them. If 30 minutes is too much, do 15, but even when 30 minutes sounds boring, it went by pretty fast. I had so many thoughts that it took me the whole 30 minutes just to calm my mind down.

Good luck!

Impulsivity is difficult to overcome without practice. It sounds like you may be putting too much out there for people which is causing them to judge you more quickly. Obviously I am going off of your short but energized post so I don’t know you as a person and am not trying to judge you.

Meditation is wonderful but it must be practiced - try putting a sticky note in your car dashboard, on your computer monitor at work or at your work station, in your mirror at home and on the counter in front of your sink that says - Breathe, in deeply and exhale with a count that is comfortable for you but have it be longer than your typical breathing.

Focus on your work not the social aspect, if you are a successful individual contributor you will eventually be asked to participate. I know this is difficult but lean on your social friends and network for support not your work colleagues. Join an ADHD meet up group in your area, if there isn’t one try and start one. BUT ... this is a big BUT - you must focus on solutions, not the problems and that is how true support and growth are fostered.

Here is a additional info that may help:

Consistency and discipline take practice! I wish I could tell you that there was some quick and swift answer…

I hope this helps the link to the full article is below
1.Record any meetings, seminars, presentations or instructions/lessons so that you can play them back on your car ride in to work or during a morning/evening walk on your iPod. I know it sounds silly, but YOU MISS THINGS when they are shared with you
2.Get a work partner or mentor to keep yourself on task and accountable. This is not someone you share your personal issues with, keep it professional. Poise it like this, “A friend of mine’s company has this really interesting mentor program where he works, basically it helps everyone, the mentor gets some leadership type of non traditional experience and the mentee gets to have someone invested in their success to help them take their career to the next level. It can be as informal as we want it to be. Maybe we just start by meeting in the morning M, W, F and talk about goals?” (we will post more on this in the future)
3.Make a list of your questions daily and weekly in a notebook and then ask at an appropriate time in the day/week rather than at the exact moment that the questions comes up. Was there anything you were able to solve on your own once you had some time to process? Is there a pattern to the questions you have where you may need to request additional training or self study? Is this a way to find charecteristics of a good mentor?

http://focusmd.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/adhd-your-job-5-ways-to-increase-success-during-career-transition/

Listen.. Please..

I have had this disorder for 50 years!!  I can tell you that things DO change… There were times that I was completely confused, ostracized, ignored - - worse.

You do not have the breadth of experience with which to fully gauge what the future holds for you. Allow yourself that time.  Yes, given what you are facing, it IS scary,,, It is stressful… You are allowed to feel that way.  Know things change.  I am not going to tell you it will be all roses.. I will tell you not to gauge future events and happiness on what you are experiencing now. 

HANG TOUGH.  You are made of sterner stuff than you give yourself credit for.

That’s hard! Do you see any chance to confide in anybody?

I wonder, is there no charity organisation whatever to talk to? Even if they are not specialised, they might know people in other organisations, pro Deo shrinks, even their family or friends with problems like that of professionals ...

Monica - Hi! Well your first step was posting in this forum. I’ve found everyone to be so positive and willing to help. So I’m paying it forward with my 2 cents!

I wasn’t diagnosed with BPII (mood spectrum disorder) and ADHD until last year (I’m 46). I just always thought that was who I was…anxious, panicky, depressed on and off (but on outside I shock anyone who knows my condition as people think I’m the most spunky, friendly, outgoing person they know). I’ve always had trouble aligning that person with my “private” self. So actually it’s always helped me to have a girls’ night or some fun with friends whether it be at a movie or some social gathering. You may feel awkward at first, but there is actually scientific proof that being with friends can help lift your mood. Go to those friends that you know will love you unconditionally…a relative or whoever…spend some time just focusing on something other than your depressed feelings…I know that is super hard when you are in this mood. if you don’t feel up to that, then the other suggestions of doing yoga, meditating, praying are all great.

Also check out this site which has a free prescription card. At Walgreens they told me it was for people who didn’t have insurance…I actually do through my hubby and didn’t know that’s what this card’s purpose was…go on and register..says it can save you upt to 75% on your purchases (not just Walgreens but other pharmacies also).  http://pharmacycard.org/pharmacy_reg.php 

Have you visited CHADD.org…it’s a great source for ADHD and other related conditions. You can look up local chapters and meetings in your own area.

Also, I too have the PMDD…it makes my moods way worse. Sometimes I feel like I only have one solid good week of the month. My PDoc prescribed me ANIMI 3…not many practitioners know about it. Animi-3 is a prescription-only product with specially formulated and highly refined
omega-3 fatty acids, phytosterols, prescription-strength folic acid, and vitamins B6 and B12. I take one capsule every morning. My pdoc swears by it for the PMDD. I feel like I’ve noticed a difference and I just started. Need to give it more time to truly see benefits. Also here is a coupon I found you can check out….http://www.animi-3.com/how-to-redeem.html

One final thought is I did a workshop that was offered in my area focused on the Artist Way (by Julia Cameron). It’s a 12 week program where you write stream of consiousness every day for 3 pages. Then you take an artist date with yourself only once a week (could be to a museum, a flea market…whatever you enjoy doing…even just a walk in the park). But invest in yourself and try to invigorate your creativity. You might just surprise yourself at finding a passion you didn’t even realize….

Please just hang on no matter what. 25 is so young and trust me, there are options out there. If you ever need to chat I’d be more than happy to lend an ear. Blessings to you! Keep the faith!!

Sounds to me like you may have social anxiety - which is normally treated with an anti-depressant like Cipramil.
Also don’t think your co-workers are looking at you funny.
They have their own lives and their own issues, and most don’t have the time or need to be a problem to you.
Its more likely that you are feeling a neurotic response as a result of social anxiety.

Good luck, Monica!  You have some great advice from the posters here.  I just want to reiterate what someone else said…..try to find a support group.  Not only will the members be helpful to you, but you may be a great help to someone else!  Remember, you’re not alone and people you haven’t even met care about you!!

Monica, can you please list some behaviors of your coworkers or incidents that made you think that they don’t like you. Then look for objective evidence of people disliking you.
For example,
“The way they look at me” would not be objective. You cannot just guess what people think even if you think you can.

“They roll their eyes when I talk to them” is a more concrete sign.

Aw man, reading your post was like reading something I wrote myself. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

I feel like an absolute ALIEN just about everywhere. As I get older, I am feeling less confident too, NOT HELPING. It’s true what people say about practicing skills, but it’s hard to even get started.

Even though I am friendly at work, people DO talk about me and exclude me, even the ones I like (the only one I like here eats lunch with the ones who are nice to my face, but office-catty types) It’s frustrating and lonely.

Sometimes the only consolation I find is online. Sounds crazy, but recently, I have discovered My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (I have a little girl) and there is actually a huge fanbase online where I can interact and not feel judged. Maybe MLP isn’t your thing (I’m a nerd), but perhaps if you can’t find real-life support, you can keep doing what you did here and reaching out to people who will probably understand you a little better…

I find that sometimes, it’s not even worth it to try to fit in with “The Normals” and just find some more “Square Pegs”...

Hope you start to feel better soon… if you can, try to remind yourself that perception makes your reality. I try to do that to avoid this feedback loop of feeling bad -> isolation -> feeling worse -> more isolation. Easier said than done, but YOU CAN DO IT!

Monica, I so feel for you. I’m glad you posted here, there’s been a lot of excellent advice. I agree with the ones who encouraged you to keep trying to find the right medication. I think medication is the most important help that I have found. I have severe inattention ADD and a “mood disorder”. I was in a deep depression, even suicidal, for years before I got help. It took a while trying every antidepressant known to man, before finding the right one for me, that didn’t make me spaced out or groggy. Now my mood is completely normal. You can do it! Keep after the doctor until you find the right medications for you. It may take a while, but I’m confident you can find help if you have a good psychiatrist.

I was 50 before I finally was diagnosed with ADD. I’ve read that anxiety often occurs with ADD, and thinking back to high school, college and later, I’ve always had anxiety and social anxiety. My current doctor said that taking meds for the ADD can decrease the anxiety. We all are like a jigsaw puzzle, and have several issues to deal with. Each issue is like one piece of the puzzle. I’d address the depression/bipolar first, and the anxiety and ADD as soon as possible. I’ve had to use a medication for anxiety at times in the past, and just to be relaxed and calm, instead of tied up in knots, made such a huge difference in how I felt about life.

I too have social anxiety. I haven’t solved that one yet, but a support group (even here online) could start to help right away. Some here know what it’s like, and can relate. Also, there’s a great little book with the oddest title “Confidence and Power in Dealing With People” that helped me SO much in relating to people. (It’s really not about power over, or controlling people, not at all, it’s just a strange title.) I had a cranky boss, nobody liked him. After reading that book, I said “Good morning” to him every morning, and put a smile on my face every time I entered his office. Also admired his “Mister Rogers”-style sweaters and the picture of his German Shepherd on his wall (none of his wife, interestingly). After a few months of this treatment, he came out of his shell, and his former secretary asked me “What did you do to Charlie??” He became relaxed, chatty, could be seen smiling,even. This story isn’t meant to be about me, but to demonstrate that a few tips from a little book, or this website, can change how we relate to people, and work “magic” on our relationships.

Take courage, there’s a lot of help for you, not far away. And, if you’re anywhere near a Hallowell Center in NYC or the Boston area, I highly recommend them, as they are experts in ADD and have extremely sharp Psychiatrists who specialize in ADD as well as other needs.

Keep in touch. We’re all here for you any time.

Sincerely,

Inge

Oh Sweetie! I’m so sorry that you are feeling like you’re alone in the world! I often feel that way myself & when anxiety takes over, I also contemplate the “unthinkable.” I could never actually serioulsy hurt myself, but when I’m in pain or I’m frustrated, lonely, anxious or some spychic vampire has sucked out a chunk of my soul, I fantasize about jumping off a tall building or walking into traffic. I don’t think I want to DIE, I just want to enjoy a nice relaxing coma. How crazy is that!?!?!
Anyway, I don’t want to waste time with MY issues, I want to try to help YOU! The things I’ve done that have been the most helpful to me is to find a place where you can be yourself & be loved & accepted as you are. Easier said then done -  BELIEVE I KNOW! But someone said something about church, and several people mentioned meditation & pro’s & con’s regarding medication & yoga/exersize. All of theese are valid points & WILL help a lot. But I’d lioke to mention that as someone who puts the H in ADHD - or I get so depressed &/or frustrated or anxious that 1/2 those options are very difficult! Has anyone who takes adderall ever tried to meditate w/the “speedy” side effects!?! Ya, good luck w/THAT! (LOL!)
But here’s what has worked for me. As for meditation, for a long time I went to a buddhist meditaion group & they walk you through the process of a meditation & speak briefly about the philosophy & I was amazed by how easy & practical it was to apply to everyday life. The group I found was call NKT (it stands for New Kadampa Tradition) & the guru that started this group is from Tibet, grew up w/& studied along side of the Dali Lama. They are in nearly every city & have a lot of books that are written for ordinary people & easy to absorb & apply. So you can use it as casually as you like, or if you hook in & want to get more involved w/it, they make it easy, but NEVER push, pressure or “hard sell” you. Bluntly put, they come right out & say their goal is to help you diffuse negtitve emotions & look @ the world (& how you react to it) w/a new perspective focusing on compassion & simply being light & happy. And it really does work! If you do a browser search for NKT you’ll find it.
Another sugustion regarding medication, there’s a website called crazymeds.us & I’ve read up on SO many “brain meds” so when I talk to my doctor, I have more information so we can find what’s best for me & I understand what meds do what for you (& to you - side effects, long term effects, what to expext when/if you stop taking them - everthing you might want to know. They make it super easy to find the info you want so you can make an educated decision about what you may or may not want to try. It’s in laymans terms & couldn’t be any easier to educate yourself.
Last, but not least, please remember that a job is temporary & those people (annoying as they may be) are NOT worth it!!! If they can’t take the time top know you & accept you as you are, then to hell with them! Don’t let shallow ignorant peple hurt you, or worse make you want to hurt yourself!!! You can always get another job. You can’t let something as trivial as coworkers mess you up! I know that’s sometimes hard to do. But it JUST a job! You can alway get another job! You can’t get another YOU. Maybe you can take a class just for fun (like something artsy or fun) to give yourself a creative distraction that will help you decompress & let that stuff go!
I’ve downloaded several podcast for meditation or uplifting content. So when I’m feeling defeated, I put in my ear buds, crawl under the covers & just absorb information to reprogram myself.
Next time you need a friend, you can e-mail me @ .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) - I’ll never judge you & I’ll always accept you just as you are. If you need someone to listen & care or just be a sounding board. I will do that for you because I know first hand what it’s like to be misunderstood as “that weird girl,,,” I’m 42 yrs old, by the way. I live in southwest Florida (grew up in Ohio) I live w/boyfriend & our 3 cats. I’m a massage therapist/artist wga ¡ig heartn but still find myself often misunderstood, judged & underappreciated. But sometimes, when someone take the rime to KNOW me, I get lucky & make a friend for life. W/patience, you will have that too.
Please hang in there! It does get easier! I promise!!!!!!
Good luck to you & god bless you & protect you!!!

Monica,
I had to reply because I’ve been feeling this intensely in the town I live in, and trying to figure out how to deal with it. I often read over things in the book “Feeling Good” by David Burns, because he points out faulty thinking but also goes over how to think about things if your feelings are correct.  Kind of like “so what if no one at a certain place wants to hang out with you,” what does that matter?

Like everyone here, I agree you should keep changing meds doctors until you find one who is ready to keep working with you to find the right meds.

I’m really interested in what type of group you work with - I mean, if you’re in sales, everyone may be super outgoing and you’re just not like that, but if you’re in high-tech, there may be some people who seem really weird but are really nice.

Also, what area do you live in and what are your interests.  Maybe someone here can recommend a support group or social group with people more like you.

Keep us posted!

Just joined this forum… we sound alike. You are not the only one! I’m 22 and diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar II. I embrace it and am not ashamed to tell anyone. It makes life interesting doesn’t it?! But it also makes life exhausting and depressing… Don’t worry hang in there. Everyday is a new day

WOW!  I’m glad you posted on here as well.  I have many of the same feelings as you and it’s difficult to talk to people (even the ones you trust) about it.  People almost never believe you or look at you like you’re nuts when you explain that people at work don’t have anything to do with you and talk about you even though you spend most of your time keeping to yourself because of that social anxiety that creeps up every time you talk to people.  It’s not easy. 

I am amazed by all the positive responses on here from everyone - not a negative one in the bunch from what I could tell.  It’s nice to see and seems like a change of pace - usually you have a handful of people saying “Oh, it’s not that bad, just buck up and get past it, you’ll be fine.”  But not this time!  Thank you everyone for being positive and helpful and again to Monica for posting what so many of us are feeling and reminding us that those of us that feel that way are not alone.  Knowing that I am not alone is in a way comforting in itself.

So glad you posted here, Monica.

As you can see, you are definitely not alone and there are people who have been there, done that and survived.

What are your thoughts?

Hi,

I’m in a similar situation as you.  I always feel excluded from group activities.  I feel like I never get along with my classmates also.

I really want you to look into this program called Landmark education.  It changed my life sooo much!!! I’ve been going to therapy for years but this program helped me change within the first week.  I feel more confident and less socially awkward. I also found a relationship through it.

Here’s the website: http://www.landmarkeducation.com

This is worth so much more than some psychotherapy.

I’m 35 and am at the exact same point that you are in your life. I’ve hit rock bottom dealing with exact situtations at work and everything else. Just was fired today, as was most every job I’ve had after college. At least 1st time wasn’t because bullied by co-workers even though that issue had become so extreme at job that I leave crying every day and had panic attacks every shift past 2 weeks. Just looked at sched and didn’t see a shift I was sched of 3 days. Same at school with hw past week.

Guess lucky because parents today agreed to pay for ADD coach since insurance doesn’t cover it until lots of $ is payed. They’re just as sick of dealing with same issues too and still supporting me at my age. Might also see ADD therapist too but have been to therapist on and off last few years about job issues and LakeLife is 100% right. Just vented then heard I’m a good person crap. Just wish i could work with others like me.

Hardest part is having dealt with this stuff at every job I’ve had, I’ve become socially awkward too and am soooo uncomfortable interacting w/only 1-2 others that are “nice” to me since always act distant when everyone else is around. I’ve gotten to point that realized only have 2 choices for future-get help to hopefully stop this vicious pattern or choose to not live this life anymore.

If you have insurance, they’re def is some help you can get. So overwhelming to think of how huge an uphill battle I have ahead just to be able to deal with all the evil in this world.  Diagnosed 20 yrs ago so all these types of prof are foreign to me and guess trial/error is what it’s gonna take. When I meet with these people i can get more info on treatment if you don’t have it already. suxs soooo bad that my career seems over after being fired from so many jobs at my age not knowing how adult add affected our lives vs as kid.

We can be strong together and just having others support (only have it here) is important:) Contact me anytime pleeez!!!