I’m sorry to hear about your son not being able to cooperate with therapy. My own son and my ex and I all went to therapy when my son was about 15 years old because his father and I shared custody and my son was having problems. I was also very angry at the father’s lack of attention to my son while he lived there-he didn’t make sure the homewrok was done or any other responsibilities. Since his father and I were not on the same page at all-regarding limits, what is BEST for my son-it did not work! Last year at 18 years old, my son refused to go to therapy with me because his anger was creating a real problem in my home. I gave him the choice of getting into therapy or moving with his father full time. He chose to live with his father who does not DEAL with my son’s issues at all. You cannot make him got to herapy, that is true. I believe my son didn’t like talking about the differences in each household (he lived with me one week his father the next-WORSE arrangement for an ADHD kid I think). I also think that my son doesn’t have to address issues at all, so he prefes to take the easy way out, which he will learn has caused him more problems by delaying dealing with the management of both his ADHD and anger.

Reply posted to a duplicate conversation thread:

We had a bad therapist once, too, which actually made my son worse (8yrs). He’s almost 9 now, and we were told to try play therapy.  See http://www.a4pt.org/
for a directory in your area. We are still trying to find one on our insurance plan, and right now we’re on a waiting list for a good one, but I’ve heard it really helps for kids who are reluctant to go. Also, don’t make it sound like he “needs” therapy because something’s “wrong” with him. Let him know you go there as a family to help him meet his goals. Turn all negative statements into positive ones so he won’t think he’s a bad kid. Time for a new therapist, I think.

Dr. H

-Posted by HillaryS

I rarely respond to any blogs about therapy, but I did want to at least pass along that it is the therapist’s job to have the child want to be in treatment.  I am a licensed clinical psychologist, and a registered -play therapist supervisor.  Being Director of The Play Therapy Training Institute, Inc., I have always told the play therapists that I train to remember that the child is the center of therapy, and therefore, they have to connect and have rapport with the therapist.  It is our job to see if it fits, and if the child feels otherwise, then referrals are in order.  I hope that helps a bit.

I really don’t respond to these articles but this one really hits home with me. My daughter is 15 and has resisted therapy for years. She has ADHD but she also has ODD so she pretty much resists everything that isn’t her idea…she continues to grow and have more and more difficulties at home and at school. She struggles to maintain friends…the is a new flock of them every year so my question is when you are up against someone who is ODD do you take the the same stand…Children with ODD don’t take responsibility for their actions and they never think it is their fault.

Not having my child in therapy says I am simply waiting until she get so out of hand we have to remove her from out home. She has anger issues and can be very violent at times. She talks of suicide at times too…so do I not get that child help because she doesn’t want it…

I am sorry to go on and on but some of the responses really don’t come close to dealing with the problems of raising a Child with ADHD and the other problems that come with it….

I find this magazine so valuable but these last posts are so general and misguided.

To: shelleybean:
Your daughter may need an inpatient evaluation at a child/adolescent treatment facility/hospital.  You mentioned she can be very violent at times and talks of suicide - if she refuses to go, you can call the police to transport her.  Don’t feel badly about doing so - they know how to deal with these situations.  I’ve been there, and done that.