Couples With One ADHD Partner
Spouse says I use ADHD as an excuse.
How can I get the point across that I do NOT just choose to have a disorganized house. In fact the house is more organized than many of my friends who have ADHD and some who don’‘t.
There is so much tension that my spouse brings home from work at the family business. We have three children, now 14, 17 and 21 years.
I am primarily responsible for the meals, shopping, interpersonal coaching and all school related activities, and currently working part-time.
My spouse’s method of parenting is to yell first and apologize later, maybe. He has been getting a little more reasonable over the years, but his blaming and lack of affirmation have caused a great deal of tension for me.
I’m regularly jumping in between my spouse and our children to shield/redirect the anger and find a productive avenue for discussion. I am so tired….. I’ve been getting talk therapy for YEARS. My spouse thinks the problems are caused by everyone else not living up to his expectations. I say he needs to adjust his expectations. He thinks I just use ADHD to get out of doing things…. I feel like I use up my energy too quickly because I feel so stressed. That leads to avoiding those time consuming projects.
How do I get him to understand even though some of his behaviors are less than desirable, I still am supportive; and I just need the same in return.
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