This is an interesting group, because I think parenting any child with ADHD is difficult, and I’m sure many of the challenges cross gender boundaries. 

That being said, I’m more than willing to share some of the challenges and joys of raising a girl with ADHD.  My daughter has always been high maintenance.  As early as infancy, she made it apparent that she did not like change.  I remember the first time I dressed her in long sleeves - she was born in May, so she was around 5 months or so - the child flipped out.  She spent a good twenty minutes fighting the sleeves and trying to remove them from her body.  I had no idea what to do, or what was wrong.  She has remained sensitive to fabrics, cuts, etc.  Even now, and she is 11, when I go shopping with her for clothes, I have to speak with her and tell her, “now if this item doesn’t feel right, just take it off and we won’t buy it.”.  If I don’t have this talk, she will melt down completely in the dressing room if a pair of pants feels funny, or if the seam doesn’t hit where she wants it to. 
We also have to work on social skills.  She is an only child, and a strong child, but she will often miss the subtle social cues of her peers.  I have to remind her to allow friends to have a say, or that perhaps her comment came off a little harsh. 
She is on medication (Focalin XR), and is doing well on it.  School is difficult, but her grades are great and she gets along with her teachers and classmates (for the most part).  We spend a lot of time with charts and reminders, because her ADHD makes it difficult for her to remember to turn homework in, or to bring the right book home, etc.  She also has the typical low frustration threshold of ADHD kids, so it’s exhausting some times. 

On the flip side, this young girl is one of the most creative and artistic kids in her class.  She loves to create, build things, do projects.  She is happiest whe there is some hands on project to be done, and she loves to help others. 

ADHD is a challenge, and it can be exhausting, but we take the approach that it’s all doable.  Life is always presenting some sort of challenge.  This is just one of them.  I am hopeful that her talents will prevail over the difficulties, and that she will learn to manage her symptoms in ways that will allow her to be productive and successful.

Nikkirech, I can relate to so much of what you say.

DD turned 7 in June and will be in 2nd grade this year.  She had a rough start in K, till she was diagnosed in Feb of that year.  She has been on Concerta since then, and it is a wonder drug for her, and the family.

DD is flourishing in school after much pushing on my part with the teachers to do their part, and much encouragement from some special assistance teachers and her tutor.  She now loves to read, will spend 1-2 hours at a time on the couch reading, and loves math.

Art is by far her favorite subject, and something we have encourage from a young age.  We have spent thousands on art supplies over the years probably.  She loves art at school and seems to get some great encouragement from the art teacher.

I guess one thing I have found having a girld with ADHD combined type, is the disbelief from others.  If it comes up I often get “no??? really???  she can’t”  And I find I have to educate many on how yes, she does have adhd, and what some of the more common female manifestations of sypmtoms are.

Look forward to getting to know all here and having some extra help in navigating this path.

My daughter will be 9 soon and is in 3rd grade.  She has ADD.  She has a very very hard time listening to more than one direction given at a time and completing those tasks without distraction.  She does enjoy math, hands on projects and helping others (to a great degree) and puts a lot of stock into loyalty in her friends.  However, she doesn’t pick up on the clues from friends either and its been hard for her to keep friends because she comes across as so bossy and controlling.  I want to help her and I don’t even know where to start with this.  She gets extremely broken hearted when someone doesn’t want to play with her anymore.  I’ve tried pointing things out to her that I see, but I don’t think she gets it. 
She also has the sensory issues as well.  Seems like that is getting a little easier for her to handle but still rears its ugly head from time to time. 
She is on Strattera, BTW.  However, she also takes D3 for seasonal depression and an herbal supplement called Monolith for biplor tendencies. 
I identify with you a lot nikkirech.  I don’t think I’ve ever come across someone who has a daugther that seems so much like mine.  I’ve been searching for ways to better help my daughter because I feel so helpless.

Syndilou,
I hear you.  It is frustrating and I often feel helpless as well.  Not only Helpless, but Clueless!  Often I have to be reminded to focus on the positive of a situation.  For instance:
My daughter will look you straight in the eye and tell a bold face lie.  It kills me.  Not long ago, I caught in her one concerning her homework.  She told me she had finished everything (and yes, I check.  She appeared to have done the work.  Found out later she showed me another sheet).  Then I caught her up after 11:00 p.m. doing math work by the light of her closet.  I, of course, was livid and it took over ten minutes the next day to get her to admit to the lie.
However, when relating this story to her school counselor as we reviewed her 504 plan, he said, “looks to me like you’ve already won half the battle and she’s on the right track.  At least she cared enough about the work to want to finish it.  I see tons of kids who don’t.”  Wham!  Totally different perspective!  Am I happy she lied?  No, but in the grand scheme of everything I had to realize that she did care enough to want to finish the work.  She was just afraid that she wouldn’t be able to watch a show with us if she had to do the homework during that time. 
So it’s a fine line.  I did tell her I was proud of her for wanting to and actually finishing the work, but I still did not appreciate the lie and what could we do to make sure she did not feel the need to lie about something like this again? 
It’s just so difficult to figure out sometimes, and it’s frustrating how few people (teachers, family members, etc) get that.

In a sentence, it’s an adventure, with joy and heartache, and laughter, and frustration, and if you are a Mom with ADD, a lot of surprising memories you wish your daughter did not also have to experience.

Thank goodness for Pat Quinn and Kathleen Nadeau and their colleagues for making the world of ADD in girls/women understandable so that we can get our daughters diagnosed and helped!  Nikkirech described my newly 11 year old daughter very well.  She has been diagnosed for less than a year, but has been hypersensitive for years (same conversation in the dressing room), with major problems with distractibility, daydreaming, and social issues. 

Our DD has always been creative with a love of animals; both strong-willed, but also having strong morals and sensitivities.

Since she’s been diagnosed, however, we’ve been able to get to know the child beneath the ADD-  She is polite and grateful, desirous of doing well in school, whereas before she did not care. 

“BD” (Before Diagnosis) our daughter was almost constantly disrespectful, and we could not understand why- As an only child, and in what we thought/hoped was a loving, Christian household, we really did not know where it was coming from.  Respect was our main “non-negotiable”, and we were constantly having to work with her on keeping a pleasant tone of voice, etc.  We also did not understand why she would not follow simple directions like “get ready for bed.”

Since diagnosis and treatment, the disrespect has almost entirely vanished.  It only rares up when one would expect it to from an 11 year old girl- times of extreme fatigue and stress, and never in extreme ways any more. 

Yes, I have the typical mother/daughter relationship with my daughter, but fortunately at least we know about how ADD has a role in our lives.  So far, concerta has helped manage her symptoms well.  As a parent, one of the hardest parts is what I call the “drug dance”.  Figuring out how the medicine is working, if it is the right one, is it time to increase a dose or add a new med or talk to the Dr. again.  When a medicine doesn’t work, then often the side effects are enough to scare you half to death, and you may see a side of your child you never hope to see again.

Our youngest daughter is 15 and it’s rough, very rough. Especially since our daughter is strong-willed, dependently independent and defiant to anyone who attempts to help, support or guide her. The social drama is unbelievable and it is draining for the entire family. Girls fester in their social problems. ADD/ADHD girls REALLY fester in their social problems. One day at a time. Breath in breath out. Pray a lot. That’s pretty much it.

My Daughter 7, 1st gd. was just diag. with ADD, But i knew it all along.  Folks would tell me she is just a drama girl. No i would tell them.  I had her School test her and abserve her and there it is, teach trying to teach and she is looking all over the place but not paying attention.  Playing with her hair, putting on a pony tail then removing it.  Every thing that is mention above.  On the other side of this o boy what a creative little girl, she makes dress out of my blouses, making them into a new syle, draws gowns on beautiful dolls. But its all over the place…Starts to brush her teath and wants to go to the other rm right in the middle of this task!  I must redirect her to complete the task.  Thank you for sharing your daily day and stories with me!  This site is helping me so much!  By the way she says school is boring.  Thanks, Angie.  ps: sorry for the mis spelled words.