Couples With One ADHD Partner
The Blame Game
I have heard it said that ADHDers learn to blame as a coping or defense mechanism. This is a huge problem in our marriage and very tiring and frustrating for me. I feel like I always have to be ready to defend myself because when ever anything happens my husband’s number one, first priority is to place blame…and the blame NEVER falls on him. Sometimes he has to do some very impressive mental and verbal gymnastics, but in the end his finger always points to me. I have developed a saying, “If I am there, I am to blame. If I am not there, I am to blame because I was not there to stop it from happening.” If my husband cannot blame me for something then the next in line are the kids. This has effected them negatively, as you can imagine. How have the rest of your handled this problem?
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