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Tired of the medical field and everything else

I am exhausted, my 12 year old son has had the worst weekend and I just want to cry for him.  His meds arent working, he isnt sleeping, he isnt getting any of his class work or homework done, he is emotional, and sad, and he too is exhausted.  And now he is having headaches.  We have been to so many doctors over the years, I just called his current one to set up an appointment, but right now I am just wondering why…she will ask me what I want to do….and I have no clue.  She will say should we increase the meds? ( we can but then he is drowsy thru all of his classes) we can change meds…oh? is there a new one we havent tried?  And then she will shrug and say I dont know….
We have been thru so many doctors at this point I want to scream. I feel like the ineffective mom wringing her hands in the corner…just venting I guess.

Replies

Hang in there.  I am going thru the same things.  I wish there is miracle cure.  I have done research on my own to help my son’s doctor to help my son.

Posted by tsunami5912 on Mar 25, 2014 at 4:24am

If you want to vent productively writing out his Past Medical History (approx dates, meds, and dosages given, reason for increasing, decreasing, or discontinuing that med, associated benefits & side-effects) will do a couple of things: 
• it will allow us to see if there’s something obvious that might have been overlooked in the past
• it will be a huge help to just give that (if nothing else) to your current doctor.  It can be just as frustrating from the providers’ side to try to synthesize all the information from numerous previous doctors (and previous failed attempts).  Having one document that is as succinct and as accurate & descriptive as possible can honestly make a huge difference.
(I’m a physician assistant, any time I have a friend or family member who has a complicated history, is not doing so well, and is understandably apprehensive about what the next doctor’s visit will bring I sit down with them and help them write out all the pertinent information they can hand to the doctor.  I cannot tell you how often I’ve been told by a harried doctor things like, “Wow, that is so great.  I cannot tell you how wonderful it would be if ALL my patients would come in with their Past Medical History all typed out.”)

Posted by BC on Mar 25, 2014 at 4:42am

I hear you. There are days I dream about a local support group at which there is a large amount of wine. Dreaming helps, as does taking a minute, allowing myself to feel awful, and, then, taking the next step.

Posted by MomofMack on Mar 25, 2014 at 5:20am

Sounds like your son is going through puberty, a difficult time for all of us. Here are a few suggestions I’d like to make to you. I apologize if you have already tried these.

First, if you haven’t already visited one, instead of a psychiatrist, I suggest seeking out the services of a pediatrician/behavior specialist. They have more experience dealing with kids and may be able to suggest non-med as well as medical solutions.

Second, if you’ve already tried a non-stimulant drug such as Intuniv, I suggest you ask his doc to move him to one of the adult ADHD treatments such as Norimprimine or Welbutrin. My husband takes the second one for his ADHD and it works pretty well. Modafinil and its new formula Armodafinil (Nuvigil). These meds act on neurotransmitter other than Dopamine.

Next, is your son getting adequate sleep? He needs 9.5 hours a night. Without it, his symptoms will be much worse. As part of his routine, it is important to turn down the lights and also turn off all the electronic devices at least one hour before bed, although 1 1/2 hours is better. You can also give him melatonin, between 3-6 mgs per night. That should be given at least an hour before bed. My son also takes L-theanine, the calming ingredient in tea.

Finally, I would like to ask you how physically active your child is. If he is not already, he would definitely benefit from at least 30 minutes of intense physical activity. For my son, its swimming, but anything will do. This and the sleep issue are probably the most important to focus on as he begins puberty.

Well, I hope this information is helpful to you.
Sincerely,
Susan in PC, Ohio

Posted by SueH on Mar 25, 2014 at 4:20pm

Thank you all so much! Its nice to have a place to come and yell! 
Its all very frustrating.  I appreciate everyones suggestions. 
I feel like right now we are at some sort of breaking point.  I wasnt seeing much help on the horizon.
(SueH
Sleep is such a HUGE issue,  my son has been on melatonin for years, we have increased it over time.  He was on a prescription for a while but it kept him up! smile 
I will investigate the meds you have suggested, I know we considered Intuniv, but his Doctor didnt think it would be effective for my son.  I will have to go back and look at why, it all starts running together after a while. 
Thank you again this is really more help then I expected, I was really just venting…

I am liking the wine idea!

Posted by Lamieh on Mar 26, 2014 at 1:38am

Pediatric psychiatrist. Do not use a general medicine doctor. Do not use a psychiatrist that doesn’t normally treat children. It is a psychological condition that needs treated only by an expert in he field.

Posted by YellaRyan on Mar 26, 2014 at 8:30am

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