Too much too soon
I am a 47 male divorced for 2 years with Adult ADD and had a question about a romantic relationship:
I’‘ve known for some time that I can be pushy, too intense/serious too soon, too eager/available, impulsive when sending texts and email in romantic relationships with women. I’ve recently gotten a 2nd chance with a woman I am very much in like with. The reasons we broke up were primarily due to those listed above. She just said just dont go off the rails on me again. Meaning pressuring her being too pushy. Everything seems to be going along fine with our friendship we both agreed could turn back to romance, and then I blurt out on the phone, “can I still call you my girlfriend?” “Or are you still attracted to me?“I do this in texts as well. She will text me and say just “goodnight” and I respond with “goodnight baby, (I hope its ok if I call you that)?”
Our 1st time at this relationship lasted about 6 months.This woman is very skittish to begin with in relationships with men (she is NOT the least bit ADD) I dont get to see her a lot because she works in a hospital long hours. I just wish there were ways in which I could follow the “less is more” principal?? I continually catch myself ratcheting up the intensity via text or phone calls. In my mind, who wouldnt like all that instant affection, and an instant relationship put on them with long term plans, etc. LOL. I just want to figure how to dial everything back, be her friend and see what happens naturally. We’ve been talking this 2nd time around for about 1 week. I dont know how to chill. Its not like I need to make something happen by a certain deadline. She has said she is not dating anyone and I told her I wanted to wait and see what happens with us. I too dont want to date anyone else.
I think this is relationship (at some point) to lose but I just feel I cant stop from doing and saying things that are too intense way too soon. Any ideas on how to rebuild a friendship and hopefully romantic relationship without screwing it up would be appreciated?
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