New Issue!

Spring 2017 Issue ADDitude magazine Read the 'ADHD Therapies That Work' issue now!

The New ADDitude Forums Are Live!

Reach our full community by posting to ADDitude's discussion forums here

ADHD Teens and Young Adults

Trying to explain adhd to my mother.

I was diagnosed with adhd (inatintive type) when I was in fith grade. I wasn’t diagnosed before that because I am also gifted or something (even though I really don’t feel like I am). I go to a private school and so I’ve never had a 405 or anything. Im entering high school this year and I really need accomodations. In the last two years I have really struggled acadimacly, but at the same time gotten good grades(in the end). I can not finish a math test on time to save my life, but luckily I had math right before lunch and my teacher let me stay extra and finish, so my grades didn’t really go down. I cn understand the material compleatly and then not be able to understand it at all when i really need to. My grades and understanding are so up & down all the time, it frustrates me so much.  I haven’t told my school about my adhd and I couldn’t ask for real accomodations. I’ve talked to my mom about them a couple times in the past year. before that i didnt understand my trouble with school and as afraid to ask for help, so she think my struggles are new. It’s so hard to talk to her, its hard to put my feelings into words at all, but my mom relly can’t understand. I almost started crying the first time I talked to her and before that i didn’t even realize frustrated I was. I really need help in highschool and my teacher probably won’t let me have extra time without an explanation. Please help me. I feel so stuck. Eairler this year I sugguested extra time on math tests and she actually thought that I wanted a better grade, not help. She also said she couldn’t asl for accomodations beause my grades are too good and that would put HER in a weird position.  I’m sorry for the bad spelling and disorganized thoughts.


What you need to do is request an IEP. They (The School) have about 60 days by law to determine what your needs are and to get it into place from the date of the hand written letter from you or your mom. Make a copy of that letter, so that you can keep track of the date, and for your records. It doesn’t matter how good your grades are. Sometimes a diagnoses is needed to get an IEP / Individual Education Plan depending on your school system ( in My Son’s school there was no need for a diagnoses) If you need a diagnoses, get it! ,but, Don’t medicate, but find out what is causing your delayed reactions and or organizing internally. There is some internal struggling going on and your extremely smart and gifted nature may be compensating for something while masking an underlying issue. We all know how incredibly gifted Einstein was, yet he was also ADHD, and Autistic! I know right?? There is no doubt that there’s a neurological issue going on from what I gather. Some people have fully functional Aspergers, Sensory integration and processing issues, Circadian Rhythm Disorders,(where their bodies get the days and nights mixed up even though they can see well) Delay in thought processing from the left side of the brain if they are right brain dominated aka ADHD. like I said don’t medicate. If you are right brain dominated,( I think you are) Meds will numb the right side of the brain to force you to use your left side of your brain more. That is not how you are made and It only turns you into a zombie as you are not normally a left brainer. Don’t give your self a lobotomy by medicating for ADHD. It’s a big money making medical insurance draining trap by the FDA. Food and Drug administration. Get that IEP Individual Education Plan into place, So that you have help with your needs (More time on certain task processing). It is your legal right to have the help that you so desperately need. My son does so well with everything, but math. Math is a left brain activity (Problem solving, little to no creativity) Right brainers are often creative, funny sometimes, and like to think freely. They are ( Out of the box type, I love that!) They tend to need more time to process math. The educational system was originally set up for men to succeed over women. Predominately left brain thinkers, but not all, the ones that don’t do well are diagnosed quickly with ADHD. The educational system needs to change from it’s old ways to meet the needs of the newest most evolved kids who are now being born right or left brainer males and females right or left brain dominated. My Son home-schools because I feel that it is the best way to meet his unique needs. The brick and mortar school way is not working for us. The teachers are not trained and or act like they don’t have time to work with ADHD students, and ADHD Schools verbally abuse the kids due to lack of patience and training.
Do k12 online, they pay for your computer and ALL OF THE SUPPLIES for all of the courses if you can’t do the IEP or if it just becomes too overwhelming where it causes you stress and subsequently, depression. You are worth way more than what you are asking for. If you can use youtube, you can do k12,lol! Explaining ADHD to mom is best done with literature, or a Doctor. Some parents want “nothing to be wrong with their child” because they think that it is a reflection on them, and as a direct result, are often in denial that there are certain needs that need to be met. They don’t want their child to be labeled. There is nothing wrong with you really, having needs is not wrong, but there is seriously something wrong with society, and the way that it is set up!  society puts labels on what they don’t understand and or as an failed attempt to control you by way of THEIR labels. Don’t fall for it, just get the help you need, you’re awesome.

Take care <3


Posted by Me, Niecy on Jun 15, 2014 at 8:13am

If you, Me Niecy, are talking about the company K12, Inc. I must respectfully & whole-heartedly disagree with your advice.  Do your research on what a pure money-making scheme of ineptitude that company is before you try to push their products.  Their stats are dismal and they should be out of business.  If the Education Industry (privatization of education) was even decently regulated for quality assurance they WOULD be out of business.

I’m just going to disregard all the other really bad advice contained in your post for the moment—need to sleep on that.  Will add more tomorrow, ostreet9.

Posted by BC on Jun 15, 2014 at 9:01am

When you start high school you will find that the demands will be even higher than they are now, so it shows a lot of maturity on your part that you are thinking ahead and trying to find ways that will help you succeed.

One thing that you might try is going directly to the guidance counselor yourself at the high school and explaining the situation just as you have here—particularly the part about how teachers have responded in the past—one who could easily accommodate for your test taking challenges due to the schedule (before lunch) versus that same teacher who initially jumped to the wrong conclusion (mainly due to your good track record) thinking you were asking for something else. All schools are very different in terms of how educated & understanding the counseling staff may be about things like this as well as how much you need to “prove” to them in order to get the ball rolling on accommodations.  They are also very different in terms of their understanding of some of the unique challenges facing “gifted” students. 

Perhaps you will luck out and find that you have a great & supportive guidance counselor who will step up to the plate and start getting things in place.  In our school district, the schools have a special form that the guidance counselor faxes to the doctor who will then certify that the diagnosis is valid, and that is how easy it is to get the ball rolling.  Next comes the meeting where the team spells out what accommodations are needed.  You have so much insight into what your particular needs are that you can likely advocate very well for yourself what those needs are.  You may find that very little parental involvement is needed in this case.

I do understand how you feel because when I was your age I had no idea I had ADHD and when I verbalized my test taking anxiety and frustrations to my parents my track record of getting straight A’s made them immediately jump to the wrong conclusion—that I just wanted attention and didn’t have a “real” problem at all.

Posted by BC on Jun 16, 2014 at 6:10am

Thank you so much for your advice. I think the guidance counselor is supposed to be very helpful and nice. I will ask her for help.

Posted by ostreet9 on Jun 18, 2014 at 5:29am

Reply to this thread

You must be logged in to reply. To log in, click here.
Not a member? Join ADDConnect today. It's free and easy!

Not a member yet? Join here »

Search the ADDConnect Group Discussions