Join ADHD Groups!

Click the arrows to expand each group category below

Parents of ADHD Children

ADD Adults

ADHD and Related Conditions

ADHD Professionals

ADHD Resources

Groups by Location

ADHD in Women

Wanting advice from ADHD women

I decided that today instead of asking all my questions in the parents of adhd children boards, I wanted to start asking questions here, because eventually my daughter will be and adult struggling with this.
So please don’t think I’m judging anyone, but I’m very concerned about my child, my daughter who is 9 and was diagnosed with adhd when she was 7.  I know several adult woman who have ADHD now and their lives are a constant train wreck.  Everything, love life, work, money issues, one lady can’t even parent her child because she can’t even take care of herself and she had to give her rights as a parent away to her ex.
I’m crying as I write this because I don’t want this kind of life for my child and I can already see things at the age of 9 that I know she is going to struggle with and will get worse as an adult.
I wanted to know what I can do now for her at this age that will help her become a successful adult and be able to function in this world.  Is there something that you wish your parents would have done that would have helped you out more as an adult?
I’m not saying that every woman with ADHD’s lives are a train wreck, just the ones I have had experience with.
It seems that ADHD is alot harder in girls, when my child was diagnosed I thought okay, we get on a stimulant and that will take care of the hyper activity and focus, but as she gets older and I’m learning so much more about this, I’m shocked as to how many other things the ADHD effect, it’s not just focus and hyperness….so many more issues have came up and I don’t want to mess up my chance with this parenting thing, I want to do it right so she doesn’t become this adult with so many issues….please help this worried Momma, I would do anything to help my baby :/

Replies

One quick comment only for some perspective: so many of us “women” who have ADHD never knew we had it, never knew there were potential work-around solutions which can make things so much easier, may or may not have come up with some/many different work-arounds along the way, etc.  She has so many potential advantages over the vast majority of us WOMEN who were fumbling around in the dark, intuitively figuring out ways to “fix” what ailed us but who could never quite put their finger on what exactly that was, who listened to sage advice from society which merely judged us, who then went to “experts” who believed they knew exactly what ailed us was but ended up misdiagnosed instead (common one is BIPOLAR—hypomanic), etc.

There will be a huge difference between her experience and the experience of most of us women.  One good example from my life—as the gifted student who always got A’s, when I would totally freak out before certain big exams what I was told, mainly by my mom, was that I was making a mountain out of a molehill (totally dismissed my feelings and my reality).  What she believed and what she told everyone else that this was: me just trying to get attention (being a “complainer” who had no logical reason to complain about anything).

Posted by BC on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:12pm

Here are a couple of links. I think that it would be good to see people talk about their lives and how they manage their ADHD.

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-videos-adhd#12

Patrick McKenna has a fantastic video on adult ADHD that will make you laugh and think. It will be a huge comfort to you because it was for me.

http://totallyadd.com/totallyadd-loving-it-trailer/

I have ADHD myself and this is the advice that I would give to my parents, who did pretty well considering.

1 Find your child’s passion. For me, it was writing and acting and being involved. They let me and encouraged me. If you don’t know your child’s passion and your child has no idea, just watch. See what your child loves to do and take it to the next level.

I don’t mean go crazy but if you can, let them take a class or a take lesson or two.

2 Don’t let their panic or anxiety dictate their choices. If your child wants to play music but is scared, work hard to overcome any anxiety he/she might have. I’m not saying this is always possible, but try hard.

3 Pick your battles and stand your ground.

That’s good advice for any parent, actually. My ADHD son did not want to get up in the morning. I had to take a hard line with him, including letting him get a detention. He has been getting up pretty consistently since then.

4 Keep her talking to you.

5 Keep her talking to you. Even if it means taking her out to lunch every other week. Talk to her about her friends and ask her questions. Try to use open ended questions.

6 Active listening. Exhausting to learn but a skill worth having.

“What I think I heard you say is…” “So what you are saying is…”

Then be open to correction if what you heard is wrong.

You are going to do a great job with your daughter because you are asking questions and seeking advice. Keep in touch, if you wish.

Posted by chrisd on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:17pm

Oh yes, and keep her talking to you.

Posted by chrisd on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:20pm

BC,
        So you wish your mother would have acknowledged your feelings.  How is your relationship with your Mother today if you don’t mind me asking now that she knows you have a proper diagnosis?  I agree, I guess my child does have an advantage in that aspect, as long as I don’t blow it for her with my parenting skills because I tend to be sort of a drill sargent in my parenting, hard to break habits, that’s how my dad raised me and my expectations for her is probably unrealistic.

Posted by klsmidwestmom on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:22pm

She’s already got a good start that you are willing to help her and acknowledge that she is different.  That is the huge thing for me.  My mother always set up all my ADHD traits as being innate character flaws and always made me feel like I wasn’t trying hard enough.  I got all A’s etc, but there was always an underlying “you’re lazy” “you’re always late” “you’re such a mess” “why can’t you be like so and so”.  She meant well, she was trying to help me in a weird way, but I always felt like I didn’t measure up and I could never understand why I just couldn’t do these things that other people seemed to do so easily. 
One thing I need to stress is don’t do things for her—clean, take care of organizing etc.  These are things she needs to figure out herself—meaning, the way she can do these things in a way that works for her.  I was able to figure out many work arounds that worked for me (and didn’t realize I was even doing it) but a lot of them weren’t really the “right way.”  Give her the freedom and support to discover how her own brain works rather than fitting in a box.  Don’t despair, she’ll be ok—my main wish is that I figured out this stuff at a younger age so that I didn’t spend so many years feeling adrift.  #1 is don’t let her feel “broken”, just “creative.”  Good luck!  smile

Posted by Keri B on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:29pm

Chrisd, that is some very good advice!  Thank you….sometimes I try to make a teaching experience out of every situation, what did you learn from this, what would you do differently, I guess it’s just the mother in me….but just listening without talking might be very helpful. 

What do you think about me pointing out things she does, like the ADHD symptoms, things like with friends that couold help her keep them, such as not interupting, be aware of talking to much, let your friends have some ideas, ask your friends what they would like to do as well…etc, I’m always trying to point things out to her so maybe she would be aware of them??!!

Posted by klsmidwestmom on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:30pm

Since you already know that you are dealing with an ADHD child, you have taken the best step—get the diagnosis and learn all that you can about this. 

While she is young, observe.  Talk to her teachers at school and get their input, too.  One of the things that I wish my parents had done was to help me be more organized when I was younger so that I would not have struggled so much as I got older. 

Help your daughter get her days off to a good start.  Emphasize good nutrition and hygiene.  Help her find her way through to fads to what really works for her in dressing and grooming.  Nobody needs to spend two hours getting ready to go to school! 

Take some time in the evening after homework is done to get her organized for the next day.  Put the books and papers in a “landing zone” so that nothing is forgotten in the morning.  Decide on her clothes for the next day and have them out and ready so she can get up out of bed and get ready without the indecision of “what to wear” delaying her an making her late. 

Have your daughter start using a planner and a journal (diary) so that she can see her progress and have a single place to look for the next thing she has to do. 

As dumb as this may sound, you have your own routines or running your household.  Write those out and refer to them especially when your daughter is present.  This is show her that having a plan is a good starting point and following the plan is a good approach to getting the necessary things done so that other things can follow—without regret. 

Reinforce the things that she is supposed to do each day, week, and month.  Teach by example.  If your daughter sees you doing things in an organized way that is visible and can be imitated, then she will learn to do that, too.

There are school planners and there are planners that organize a child’s whole day.  I made planner pages for my grandchildren and they have really helped.  They incorporate school and home activities and they fit in a book bag easily.

Posted by Dianne in the Desert on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:34pm

KeriB, thank you!  I do tend to do everything for her, and I know that will eventually handicap her…I need to stop that, I know.  Maybe I’m not helping things when I point them out to her, but I feel that she isn’t seeing them, so as her mother, I need to do that….but maybe I’m contributing to her feeling broken and not creative.  I know everyone is different, but what were some things you all enjoyed or enjoy, she just loves the outdoors, loves animals, nature, but also has that wild side, she likes to rock climd, ride 4 wheelers and play basketball with the boys.

Posted by klsmidwestmom on Mar 25, 2014 at 7:35pm

I want to first applaud you for being such a good mom and wanting the best for your daughter!  Give yourself credit for that on the days you blame yourself for whatever the thing of the moment is. I wish my parents made more of that effort.

I have been diagnosed add or as they’re calling it now ADHD-PI (primarily inactive) meaning I’m the daydreaming type not the hyper type. I’m 43 years old and was just diagnosed in January. Happy new year to me! Lol

I wish my parents had been aware that they got me any type of help. As a mom of two boys now I blame them less. It wasn’t known as much when I was a kid and it was t heard of for girls. But still I needed help. I’m glad at 9 your daughter has such an advocate in you.

Be active!  Talk w her teachers a lot!  If you can afford it, get someone who specializes in ADHD in young girls. Those dr’s exist and are out there. If not, utilize these message boards and google as much as possible!  And allow both of you to make mistakes.  It’s part of life. And learn from them.

Good luck!

Posted by Alioop143 on Mar 25, 2014 at 9:46pm

The drill sergeant pointing out all her flaws will be a lot more damaging than just assuming that because she is technically “capable” of doing something, any/all complaints are nothing more than that—just complaining (being negative).  Many times I was merely confidently stating my opinion or preference about something without giving it much pause or thought—just blurting out some “fact.”  But all things that weren’t totally positive or had any type of contrariness got lumped together as Generalized Negativity. 

The role of drill sergeant pointing out everyone’s flaws and expecting everyone to do things the “right” way was played by my dad.  He was such the perfectionist about things that even when you did a brilliant job he’d praise you for that then promptly negate it by simply pointing out what you could have done to make it even better—“That was great BUT…”

They were both raised by a generation that parented in drill sergeant mode and gave little consideration to “feelings,” (so my experience probably wasn’t very unique in that regard). 

How is our relationship today?  Distant emotionally and distant geographically…and complicated.

What I firmly believe this generation needs to do is just try to not repeat those same mistakes our own parents made (but we tend to do that way too much—and that includes me).  By the same token going the opposite way and having no rules, no expectations, no boundaries/limits isn’t good either.  Setting the bar way too low for anyone/everyone with ADHD can be just as bad as setting it way too high.

That is what we parents have to try to figure out constantly—what is too high & what is too low—given the unique strengths or weaknesses of each child with ADHD.  That is what’s super tough for me.  I have identical 15 yo twins (one predominantly hyperactive, the other predominantly inattentive…one takes Vyvanse but refuses a 504 plan, the other refuses to take meds at all…both gifted IQs but both making less than stellar grades in this first year of high school—even F’s).  They’ve got a mom with ADHD who managed to graduate from PA school (not easy) with straight A’s, who has a bazillion and one tried & true ways to achieve academic success with a high IQ & ADHD, but who learned from experience a long time ago (going to college married to their ADHD dad) that I can lecture about how to do it until I’m blue in the face but it won’t do a damn bit of good unless they, too, are intrinsically motivated to make good grades.  When and if that becomes something they decide they want to do they’ll probably figure out their own ways of doing it long before they ask me for help (reinvent the wheel) or even admit they might like to do better than they are. 

At the end of the day I measure my own “success” as a parent based on how often I remember to praise instead of criticize, how often I listen & ask questions instead of lecture, how often I stuff a sock in my mouth to avoid the overly-long lecture, how often I stop doing whatever I’m absorbed in to fully pay attention to whatever’s going on with them…even if it’s not much.  I try to simplify things as much as possible whenever possible, I try to set a decent example, and I try to not worry too much anymore about all the horrible stuff that might happen.  I try to remember to say the Serenity Prayer when things get overwhelming, and I try to step back and ask myself if my expectations are really somebody else’s expectations that I’ve internalized and simply accepted as fact (if so they have no real “value”). 

More than anything I worry about what public education has already done to them, how much worse that might get, and if it would be insane for me to homeschool them these last few “formative” years.  I don’t know if the inner teenager in me just really, really wants to say “F^&# the system” or if the adult in me just knows how bad the system is F^&#ed;—especially for kids with ADHD who get graded on their ability to turn in the homework they did last night but can’t find in their backpack (and are also trying to pay attention to some classroom distraction—such as the teacher going over the picky detailed instructions for the next homework assignment), so when they can’t find it in the messy backpack they just go ahead and assume they must have left it at home…

Posted by BC on Mar 26, 2014 at 2:48am

I believe my mom has ADD-PI although she is diagnosed and treated for bipolar. She always did whatever was easy and there was absolutely no routine or structure. Had there have been more than just me I’m sure it would have been chaos. I know my mom did the best she could but to address your question.

I wish my mom would not have babied me so much…I wish I had more structure because life as an adult has been impossible for me - train wreck is right. Due to the impulsivity and inability to think things through I made a lot of mistakes. I now have 4 boys, am single, and at 27 still at home with my parents. I almost lost my boys due to inadvertently getting hooked on methamphetamine…didn’t know about ADHD until early recovery and now I realize why it helped so much.

Thankfully I do have my boys back and have been clean for over a year but due to that addiction it has made it difficult for me to find someone who will treat me for the ADD and give me the meds I desperately need to function.

It makes me so sad to think that all this heartache could have been avoided if I had been diagnosed as a kid and given the right interventions early on.

You are doing the right thing mama and I believe your proactive approach will help your daughter greatly to avoid the pitfalls many ADD women fall in to.

Posted by NatalieR on Mar 26, 2014 at 4:49pm

Lots of good advice from everyone. I’m 39 diagnosed at 31. My parents were divorced when I was 5. I wouldn’t have changed a thing because it was my life. Nobody knew what ADHD was.

It turns out my father was diagnosed just one year before I was with ADD. As previously mentioned, we worked our way around things to make it work for us. We survived. I think your daughter will too because she has the strength you do.

I would take the pressure off of yourself. It is up to her how hard she works for what she wants. I didn’t get much encouragement from my parents because they were busy with themselves (depression/ADD).
I think it helped me become self sufficient. My brother was diagnosed after me, went to college and got a job.

It turns out my step sister has it too. She hates school but is running her own cleaning business now.

I graduated from nursing school which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and now I have a 2 year old daughter. I started to worry if she has ADHD but I’m not anymore.

Your daughter will have struggles like people do. Just love her.

Posted by Tinybluemoon on Mar 26, 2014 at 5:15pm

Instead of doing things for her, walk her through them. That way, she gets the guidance she needs, but she’s learning the steps and strategies to do things for herself. Plus, this removes the nagging element.

For instance, “It’s time to unpack after school. Where should you put your backpack? Where should you put your shoes? Look in your planner and tell me what homework you have.”

It’s guiding them to make the decisions themselves and then implement them. It’s teaching them how to think through things.

You are already doing so much for your daughter, just seeking to understand her and guide her. It takes time…

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Mar 26, 2014 at 7:20pm

First of all, your daughter is at advantage over most of us because she knows she has ADHD and is taking a stimulant as a child. She will be far better prepared for a lot of things that those of us who weren’t diagnosed until adulthood were not. She will have much higher self-esteem if she understands how she thinks and acts differently, rather than just thinking she’s a failure. I would say a major thing you can therefore, is to keep her educated on ADHD and new science pertaining to it. Make sure she understands ADHD really wouldn’t be a disorder at all if society didn’t try to force everyone into conforming to the same set of rules. She will fail at meeting some of these rules from time to time, but she’ll know ahead of time that she may have to make extra effort to conform to them or she may have to set different expectations about what she cannot do perfectly. She’ll know to look for certain types of jobs and certain types of partners and to do things and be around people that make her comfortable with who she is.

And a big part of that is making sure she knows her strengths and weaknesses. If she’s a disaster in the morning and a genius at night, let her know that this is just as good as being an early bird. Point out the common *advantages* of ADHD—she’s likely to be creative, honest, loyal, have a strong sense of justice and meritocracy. She might love the outdoors, be physically fit, love music. She might hyperfocus a lot, which can have downsides, but man, does it come in handy in college. ADHD isn’t an illness or a disorder, it’s just being different.

And yeah, start “coping mechanisms” early—reminders, alarms, signs, organization, sleep hygiene…don’t force her into these things if it is making her rebel (oh yes, we love to rebel), but the stuff that works, go with it. A lot of people with ADHD are highly intelligent and just develop these coping mechanisms anyway, sometimes making us more organized than our neurotypical peers.

Back to rebelling—don’t constantly reprimand her about stuff that’s not really important, like biting her nails, twirling her hair, pacing, bouncing her leg. If something isn’t hurting her, don’t make her feel like her natural impulses are something to be ashamed of.

And don’t be too worried. You can be VERY successful as an adult with ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 30 (I’m now 36). As a kid I had a hard time fitting in, and teachers often didn’t love me, but I got straight As. I was interested in EVERYTHING and played sports, took dance and music, and always seemed to engross myself in things were interesting to me. In high school I had a hard time studying things that weren’t very interesting and in places that weren’t comfortable, like my old bedroom. But I got into one of the best colleges in the country (despite doing horribly on the SATs, because yeah standardized test, not so great for ADHD) and boy did that change—I learned that I am EXCELLENT student, because being a student in a college environment and studying fascinating things with organized professors is something that works really well for some people with ADHD. I have a graduate degree and have been hired at some very prestigious firms—but I’ve found that it works much better for me to be in a smaller, lower pressure environment, so I do that now.

Living with other people, be it a romantic partner, family, or roommates can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be a disaster. I’m really worried about having kids in the near future, because I’m bad at things like cooking dinner every night and remembering to buy toilet paper. But in today’s society where women are expected to “have it all,” there are plenty of neurotypical mothers who are barely holding it together. I know I will not be a perfect mother by a long shot, but I think my expectations are aligned with reality. I know there will be some things that will be really hard for me, but I’ll have to tag team with my partner, get help from family and friends, take Adderall, and hopefully get by. I won’t let anything bad happen to my kids in any event, and that’s really all that counts at the end of the day.

One last thing—there are some people with ADHD who turn to things like drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, video game addictions…this does NOT have to happen. Start your daughter early on HEALTHY ways to feel good. Exercise, exercise, exercise. If she doesn’t like sports, that’s fine, but try bike rides, nature walks, etc. Get that energy out, the adrenaline flowing. This will help enormously with anxiety. Sleep too—make sure she’s getting it in a healthy way, which can be hard for people with ADHD. And diet—green, purple, and red fruits and vegetables, nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts, and protein (fish and bison are good). This is all just coming from personal experience and awareness, but I would avoid stuff with added growth hormones and soy.

So yeah, and by the time your kid is an adult society may have adjusted a little to people with ADHD, and the science keeps advancing. If your daughter isn’t doing well in school right now, try to find a way to change that with behavior (like having a clean, organized, quiet space with white noise or music for homework) or by focusing on things she’s really good at. Having good grades, a strong skill, or a real passion will open doors and override some of the negatives of ADHD in life, so again, it’s all about focusing on the strengths and getting by on the weaknesses.

Posted by LLB827 on Mar 26, 2014 at 7:54pm

Structure structure structure…...I need it, crave it and feel peaceful when I have it.  I wasn’t taught how to develop systems to help me organize and stay on top of my responsibilities.  I am raising 3 girls, two of which have also been diagnosed.  It is really difficult for me to enforce structure: when to get up, where to put things, bedtime routines.  It has to be the same every day and if we deviate I forewarn them.  They need to know what is happening next, and what is expected of them.  It took me 5 years with essentially feral children before I realized what made me feel peaceful would help them too, structure.  Also I want to say that I view ADHD as a gift.  We can see things differently than everybody else and we need to embrace it.  I tell my girls, all of them, that my job is to give them the tools to be a successful adult, and I’m learning right along with them.

I want to add that I couldn’t read the lengthy replies before me, so I apologize if I am duplicating grin

Posted by Addmom38 on Mar 27, 2014 at 5:29am

You don’t need to be a drill sergeant to talk to her about behaviors. (This, of course, coming *from* a mom drill sergeant)

I think it comes back to talking to her as things come up. This may sound common sense but I’ll just mention it anyway.

Talk to her when she’s calm, not in the heat of the moment. And don’t talk to her when she’s tired. My husband has made this mistake with our son over and over. He is finally listening to me and we wait to have conversations and consequences when my son is calm.

Oh, and the rebel thing. Yes. I didn’t realize that was an ADHD thing. Is it? Well, if it is, don’t look at it like rebellion. Look at her rebellion as her way of independence. I mean there’s rebellion with the mouth and the choices and there’s rebellion with doing things your own way rather than like everyone else.

There is some great advice here. I wish I had it when my kids were younger!

Posted by chrisd on Mar 27, 2014 at 9:41am

Wow, wonderful advice for sure!  Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, I have read everything and have taken notes so I don’t forget anything.  It’s definately exhausting parenting an adhd child, but yet very rewardng, and I’m glad some of you pointed out the good things, because yes, she is horrible at Math and is unorganized and forgetful, but she has the biggest heart, she always looks out for other kids who are different or left out and reaches out to them, keeping friends can be a struggle because even at age 9 they notice she is different, but I think she is perfect! 
Again, thank you all very much, I’m so thankful to have a place like this to ask questions, vent and get some great tips and advice!

Posted by klsmidwestmom on Mar 27, 2014 at 1:16pm

Chrisd—with respect to the “rebellion,” yes I think it is an ADHD thing but to clarify, I don’t mean rebellion in terms of the usual things you think of as being teenage rebellion or whatever. What I mean is not liking being told what to do and when and where to do it. For me, since childhood, whenever someone told me to do something now, or sit here and do it, etc., that would make me absolutely just not be physically able to do it. It’s even like that for me as an adult at work—even if I don’t have someone telling me to do something, if I know something has to be done this morning it can be really hard for me to do it, when normally I might not even think about it.

So as an example, I mentioned in my reply that I thrived as a student in college/grad school. One big reason was because in an academic atmosphere, you work when and where you want to. You do the bulk of your actual work at night, which is when people with ADHD often work best, and if the library starts to feel uncomfortable, you pick up and move to the coffee shop. It’s really just KNOWING that you can do this that makes you so much more relaxed. But if you contrast this to an office job when you are right our of college and low on the totem pole—you’re suddenly being told to do all your work from one desk and sit still all day. You have no control over your schedule, your boss is telling you what to do all the time. For me, this has been the hardest part of ADHD, just almost being physically nauseated when you have no control over when are where you do things. Working wasn’t easy for me for a long time, but I’ve noticed that 1) you have to find the right type of job/boss and 2) as you get older and have more control at work, it gets a lot better. You really have to choose right—being in the army is probably not the best career choice for someone with ADHD, especially if they have this rebellion thing. Developing software in a creative environment with a flexible schedule might be the better choice, for example.

Posted by LLB827 on Mar 27, 2014 at 5:39pm

klsmidwestmom—first of all, this isn’t coming a place of judgement, but please don’t assume your 9 year old is horrible at math. Having ADHD, she may not be receptive to the way math is taught in school, it might be too boring for her, she might understand what’s going on but not be able to focus on the tests, etc. This is coming from a woman who was told she was bad at math since fourth grade when they introduced long division and it wasn’t just about memorization anymore. I learned to be afraid of math, that girls aren’t good at math, that my school district wasn’t good enough for math, etc. When starting college I would think things like, “well I’d like to take a physics class, but I’m not good enough at math.”

I didn’t figure out until my senior year of college that I am actually GOOD at math, just bad at math tests. I could produce a perfect take-home problem set demonstrating a deep understanding of the material, but get a C on the test because of the time and space limitations. A math professor actually went way out of his way to change his entire testing policy when he saw what was going on with me. Even in grad school I was taking a calculus-intensive course and just couldn’t finish the math within the testing time, but by then, even though I wasn’t diagnosed yet, I had much more confidence and knew it was the test and not me. I ended up majoring in economics, going to grad school for applied economics, and I do math every day at work. Your daughter might not end up liking math, but make sure you don’t send any sort of message that she’s just not good at it. Treat it like any of the other subjects and work with her teacher to figure out if anything can be done to help her with it.

Posted by LLB827 on Mar 27, 2014 at 5:55pm

There are so many successful woman that have ADHD Sometimes it makes you stronger when things are hard as a kid. It also give you understanding. Here is a copy of a post I added a while ago,

I remember driving home from a school conference for my son in tears when he was about 12 and wishing I could talk to my late grandpa who was my best friend when I was a kid. My grandpa taught me how to read and tie my shoes.  He encouraged me and helped me so much. I just wanted to ask him what I should do to help my son. Then I realized that my grandpa worried about me also and I turned out to have a great life. God has given me so much and even made me successful. God loves our children even more than we do and He has great plans for His children. We can trust Him !

Posted by leslie 1 on Mar 27, 2014 at 6:29pm

leslie 1….just smile  Thank you!

Posted by klsmidwestmom on Mar 28, 2014 at 1:35pm

I agree 100% with everything written here so I’ll try not to repeat what’s already been said. These commenters have the self esteem side covered which is huge.

On a practical note, I’d recommend getting her as involved in daily living tasks as possible because when she leaves the nest she will be starting from scratch without a good foundation of skills.

I’d recommend getting her involved in house chores and understanding why they’re important. Use a system to do everything from an adhd perspective so the routine is ingrained. Involve her on shopping for food that won’t aggravate her adhd. Ask her to help check food labels for sugar etc. then teach her quick and easy recipes to make together.

Teach her rules such as ‘no more than five things on your desk when it’s not used’ etc.

I know it seems irrelevant, but it’s the little things that will equip her for a life of success. She won’t be the worker with a messy desk because she has had a decade of habit put in place etc. You catch my drift.

I think your question is excellent and I totally get behind everyone’s responses here grin

Posted by sashajames7 on Mar 28, 2014 at 4:10pm

Reply to this thread

You must be logged in to reply. To log in, click here.
Not a member? Join ADDConnect today. It's free and easy!

Not a member yet? Join here »


Important! User-Generated Content

The opinions expressed on ADDConnect are solely those of the user, who may or may not have medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of ADDConnect or ADDitude magazine. For more information, see our terms and conditions.