Write a letter to the special Ed office, principal and special Ed staff at the building asking for a special Ed evaluation. They cannot delay this evaluation if there is a suspected disability by going through the SAT or RtI process. If they don’t comply then getting an advocate/attorney makes sense. Good luck. Your daughter needs and deserves help. The school’s job is not to blame you or the child, but to help the kid.

Sorry to hear it.

You need to get your DD to a child-psychologist. The school can only do so much. Proper medication and therapy sound like would be helpful.

Here are some IEP links.:
http://ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html
http://www.fape.org/
http://www.parentcenternetwork.org/
http://www.patientadvocate.org/index.php

Good luck
Augie
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Hi.
I agree with both of the previous posts. I too have a daughter that is beginning to have similar issues again. She was diagnosed with ADHD in the first grade and after seeing a child-psychologist and trying natural remedies, I finally decided that it would be best for her to try medication. And guess what, although I was opposed to it in the beginning, it worked for years (of course until it ran out a few months ago and has been on extended back order).

Since then she is having much difficulty focusing, staying on task, not able to sit still and experiencing social challenges. But because I’ve gone throught this before, I know that the school does have to provide assistance if your child has been diagnosed and is experiencing issues that is affecting her grades. I would definitely see a doctor and get a written recommendation from him/her that the school shoudl provide testing. Schools are often reluctant because ultimately it costs them more money to provide these individualized services. But as a tax payer, you have a right to those services. And obtaining a child advocate may help move the process along.

In the meantime, I’ve begun some strategies at home such as meditation that could also be useful. There’s a website called Kid’s Relaxation that has been very helpful. Try doing some of the exercises with your daughter in the morning and at night to try and get her focused on helping herself.

I hope some of this information has been useful. I know your struggles so know that you are not alone. A few years ago the best advice I received was that YOU have to be your childs #1 advocate no matter what, otherwise no one else will. So don’t give up. Keep fighting for her because she deserves a chance to succeed despite her challenges.

I should have mentioned that we do see a Child Psychologist and she is on Ritalin which does help somewhat, as well as prozac for Compulsion problems. So her diagnosis is a medical one…I do not understand why it took going over everyones heads to even start the process.

The last meeting I had with the counselor and the Principal was about the bullying. I was told that 5th grade girls are “Just that way” and there wasn’t anything they could really do to prove it, so they couldn’t do anything. I was also expressing concerns about one of the 5th grade team teachers who tells the children “If you don’t behave I will rip off your head and roll it down the hall”. She is a serious type, Surely she was joking, but its not really funny in my book. They told me that my concerns were personal and that I needed to deal with HER. (???)

Also, right before the SAT process began a couple of weeks back, she was caught hiding a thermometer that she had apparently broken and was afraid to give up. Because she went into her silent mode as she doesn when she feels threatened, they gave her in school suspension. I was not even notified until after the school day was over. Is that something they can do?

And then the teachers met with the principal and councelors (I was not invited) they acted as though the SAT idea was all theirs “because of their concern” but I felt a bit threatened when the principal told me that if the SAT didn’t work she would be put into Special Ed.

Thank you so much for your support, and so quickly! I feel like its the whole school against us,and sometimes wonder if I am being paranoid! And thanks too for the relaxation ideas, I may need those for myself, too!

Although the process has started, if I am not over reacting, I would like to write a few letters…I am just not sure where all to send them to. Any ideas?

It’s very important that you take an advocate who understands ADHD to the first school meeting and others, if necessary. This could be a relative, friend, an advocate from your local Learning Disabilities Assoc. or CHADD. Someone who knows the Special Ed Laws. Meanwhile, the school should provide 504 accomodations, like sitting her near the teacher, giving her extra time for tests (in a quiet place), putting a folder at a “station” for her to put her work, assignments, and homework in.

The school doesn’t sound like it has dealt with her problems in appropriate ways. Your job? Learn as much as you can about ADHD. Try CHADD.org or read ADDitude magazine (your library may have it), etc. Good luck!
Patricia Aust: CT Task Force on ADHD;author of HYPER HARRY for kids 8-12 (available at Amazon.com or Amazon Kindle Store).

I’m a single mom too and sometimes it’s very overwhelming to have to deal with all of this and feel like no one is taking it seriously.  I had a similar problem with my son.  Unfortunately, for us, we I ended up having to go outside of the school system to have all the testing/diagnosis information so they couldn’t argue that he needed what I was asking for. We just couldn’t continue to wait and argue with the schools anymore.  He needed help sooner rather than later.  Even with the reports/diagnosis information from the doctors, they didn’t pay attention.  I had to point out that it wasn’t one diagnosis because none of them read the documents…  I eventually got the school to cooperate, but not without staying on top of them for months.  I was emailing and calling weekly until they finally met with me.  Thankfully my sister has also been an ESE teacher and has extensive knowledge in exactly what the schools can do for him.  She was with me when we finally had the meeting to put the plan in place.  I do have to say though, this isn’t a perfect process.  I am still having challenges with the teachers abiding by the plan.  To the point that I have to email them often to get the information that is needed.

You ladies have so much courage - your children are so lucky to have you.  On one hand it is extremely sad that so many of us have the same issues and struggles with the kids we love but on the other hand it is reassuring to know we are not alone.  My son was also struggling in school culminating his being placed with a horrible teacher in 2nd grade (it was obvious she did not like him) and he was hiding under his desk every day or left to his own devices because she could not deal with him (although we hear she had time every day to walk down to the principal’s office to complain about him) and she would then send home EVERY BIT of work he did not complete in class as well as homework for him to do every night.  When we took a family trip to Disney during the school year (we all had to have a break) she sent 5 complete days of work home with him PLUS projects to do and there were only 3 days of school the week we were out (her response “oh, I forgot”).  So basically every day of vacation we had to take time to do the homework and school work, which with some one-on-one attention, he was able to complete in an hour to an hour 1/2 each day.  Go figure.  She then lost half of it when we sent it back.  Anyway, she was almost a blessing because if it were not for her repeated complaining and nasty notes sent home to us about my son, we would not have had “ammunition” with the Director of Exceptional Children to push for a complete workup and 504 accomodations (AND he got moved to another 2nd grade teacher whose own son is ADHD - again - a blessing). Anyway, I used an example letter I found on this website to write to the Director of Exceptional Children’s services with my school system (I bypassed the school personnel completely at that point - I had tried with them and been treated exactly like you all have been) and I got IMMEDIATE results. I also make it a point to check in with the teachers REGULARLY and have also been an advocate that if he is going to have a priviledge taken away that the rest of the class is getting, I want to know about it immediately so I can ttry to fix the situation ahead of time.  This has worked pretty good so far.  I want to wish you every bit of luck and hope I can.  Go hug your kids!

Dealing with schools can be extremely frustrating and difficult. I agree with many of the posts. You should get an advocate. You should be writing your concerns and letters to whomever is the Special Education Director in your school district and cc: the principal as well.

There are many websites that have templates that you can use to help you come up with a letter.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/792.html
http://www.insideadhd.org/ToolkitSelect.aspx?id=718&fid=4230

It is not easy but it can be done. Know the Special Education laws for your state. Do not agree or sign anything unless you know what it is and only if you agree with it. You are a good parent so do not let anyone make you feel otherwise.

I am always respectful even when I disagree with my child’s school. They know this very well. I voice my concerns and they voice theirs. It is really the only way that my son will be successful. I make sure to work with the school as much as I can and I have a good relationship with them even though it took some time to build. They are educators so they have some knowledge but no one knows my child better than me and my husband. I find that I am often giving them ideas. They are also very willing to work with my son’s doctor. That’s hard for some schools to do because they want to be seen as the experts and don’t always want to admit that they don’t know everything.

Good luck to you and keep advocating for your child. Stay strong!

my son is 7 and in 2nd grade and i feel im getting nowhere with the school hes been suspended twice already first time 2 days for running away from teacher down the hall then again but this time for 4 days cuz he left classroom to get meds n was bulling a kid thats been bulling him.evrytime he has an outburst at school theyre soo quick to call me saying u have to come get him…i tried getting a 504 plan last year when this all started but they said hes doing fine in school work so hes not quailifed…i teach my son if someones picking on u tell teacher n if they dont listen tell Principal..i just feel they are targeting him..any advice….