ADHD in Boys
What to do now?
The situation at Gymnastics is tense. Although the coach is making good efforts, my 10 year old Y. still has some times when he doesn’t want to do things (mostly when it is events he doesn’t like as much or is anxious about). I asked the coach to have him go out but let him come back when he is ready to start working. This has been mostly successful.
What is really upsetting is that the parent of his best friend at Gymnastics L. came to the conclusion that L. is not doing as well as they would like because of my son. They told L. that Y. is disruptive and to stay away from him. So L. has been telling Y. that he is no longer his friend, to go away and leave him alone, and that he is a loser.
Last week Y. got so upset that he punched L. I was very upset and grounded Y.
Now, to level things out, L. has also punched Y. in the past, but I let it go and never told his parents, or the coach, because I think boys are boys, they can be rough, and others have punched Yann (when playing at the end of practice for instance).
The problem is that L. parents didn’t see it that way and went to the coach, making a huge deal out of what happened. They also asked L. to delete Y.‘s contact from his iPad as well as Y.‘s character on Minecraft.
Y. has never had that kind of problems and on school reports, his teachers describe him as a kind and sweet boy who cares about others.
It is true that he can be disruptive at Gymnastics because - even on medications - at the end of the day he may have a hard time focusing, so he jumps around. I am also working on this with the coach.
Having your child rejected is awful. In this instance, I think that knowing that Y. is ‘ADHD’ makes it easy to blame him more.
Any suggestions? I obviously don’t want Y. to start using his fists even if he feels hurt and frustrated. I also need to get him to handle better rejection. And I also need to learn myself, how to handle rejections (particularly from people who had been your friends for the last 2 years!).
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