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ADHD in Women

Why Do I Feel Duped?

I sometimes feel I don’t really have ADHD, even after having low energy neuro stimulation which CLEARLY revealed the lack of function in my frontal lobe and other areas. I still often think I’ve been duped and the meds are a waste of money. I still often have this feeling that everyone is like this, everyone lacks focus, drive, organization, priorities, methodologies, perseverance, etc. I don’t know why after all this time, with all this physical proof and scientific and medical proof, I still doubt my diagnosis and feel as if I’m being duped! But part of it comes from the fact that the meds I’ve been on seem to only work for a time, and then I’m back to my usual poor habits and performances. Then I try a new med, which only works for a time…so I start thinking maybe the meds never really worked at all but rather I wanted to believe they did so badly that I ignored their true impotence. Does anyone else think like this??? It sounds insane as I reread what I’ve written here, but it’s what I struggle with on a daily basis. Doesn’t everyone, to some extent, have ADHD?


mowgirl - I think that from time-to-time, everyone loses focus, drive, organization, etc.  But, if the problem is present every day, for a long, long time, something else may be going on.  I can’t comment on the meds - I don’t know anything about them.  I, personally, do not feel that way about my condition.  Have you discussed your feelings with your doctor or a therapist?  I wish I could be of more help to you.

Posted by ShihTzumama on Jan 29, 2014 at 11:24pm

For me, the meds are only part of managing my ADHD, & when things “aren’t going well”, it’s usually because I am not practicing the behavioral aspects of ADHD, that are essential to my managing my life in a somewhat sane manner.  The meds make it more likely, & possible for me to put the behavioral plans in place; but I still have to do the work, & it is not always easy.

Yes, I believe everyone can have some ADHD-related traits/behaviors, but for those of us with a true diagnosis, it becomes more about degree & how pervasive the traits/behaviors are - for those w/ ADHD, they come out, to some degree, in most areas of our lives, & have been a pattern for years.

Posted by LCK on Jan 30, 2014 at 7:07am

Thanks for your questions, mowgirl. You are definitely not alone. I’ve been taking meds for 7 months now & I’m realizing how much I need to work on the habits I have created in order to deal with the effects of untreated ADHD. I’m 50 & it’s definitely a struggle. I find myself falling back into old controlling habits that are hurtful to others around me. Are there any articles, information, etc. on managing the behavioral aspects of ADHD?

Posted by TexasGirl on Feb 01, 2014 at 1:58am

I used to increase and decrease my dosage and change meds all the time because nothing worked for long.  What I discovered was that my ADHD food sensitivities were causing inflammation in my GI tract and tiny holes, so food and meds were leaking everywhere (Google leaky gut syndrome).  I had no idea I had these problems until I read an article in ADDitude magazine by Dr. Sanford Newmark in which I recognized myself.  That is why my my meds never worked for long.Dr Charles Parker does a great job of explaining this.  He compares having undetected food sensitivities and taking ADHD meds to having a rusty bucket with holes in the bottom.

Most people with these issues have no idea.

Yes, other people have some of the same issues we do.  But not enough to classify it as a disorder.  Trust me, one of these things is not like the others.  And that’s us grin !

Posted by TimeMgtQueen;) on Feb 01, 2014 at 6:40pm

I also feel like that at times.  I don’t always feel that my meds are working very well, but when I don’t take them, I really see and feel a big difference in my daily life.  I also feel like, OMG, I just got distracted and forgot what I was going to say.  Well, it is after 4:00 and I actually didn’t take my meds today, because I was out of them.  I got my scrip filled, though.  Anyway, I’ll probably remember it later tonight.  Sorry about that. 

Oh yeah, I remember.  I was going to say that I feel like its a sham sometimes because I don’t feel sick or anything, and I still have trouble with things like motivation and sticking to things, even with the meds.  I wonder sometimes if I need to change meds or dose, or if even that will help.

Posted by KarenI on Feb 08, 2014 at 2:18am

You owe it to yourself to check out the writing by Lynn Weiss, Ph.D.  She has ADD, and so does her son.  She dealt with his special needs in school, before the condition was well known.  She sees ADD as a spectrum of attributes, as opposed to a disease. 

One of her books has a list of “29 Positive Attributes of ADD.”  That list helped me feel better about things.  A link to a related article is:—-Use-List-of-29-Positive-Attributes-to-Decide-For-Yourself&id=3960258

In case you’d like to find this without the link, I found the article by doing a search for “29 positive attributes of ADD.”

Also, there is a lot of information on holistic, alternative treatments for this condition. 

Have you looked at the website “TotallyADD”?  It’s really neat.  If you’ve ever seen the PBS show “Red Green,” you’ll recognize a couple of the guys who are featured on the website.  Check it out; it’s another neat site. 

Good luck!

Posted by Author58 on Feb 12, 2014 at 8:22pm

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