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adhd and scrambled...

hi. i’m a 29 year old mother of 2. about 4 years ago i was diagnosed with adhd, depression, anxiety and a neurological disorder all in a matter of 60 days. i followed all drs orders, took meds, went to therapy and somewhat attempted to manage my life. about a year into this new routine, i quit. i quit going to the drs, i quit taking all my meds and tried to convince myself all these issues were in my head. about 6 months ago i have several bad days in a row that resulted in a crying fit for 3 days.—i do not show emotion often especially not openly crying—i called my drs, and through myself head first back into a weekly therapy and med routine. the beginning was great! i was writing in a journal, mind mapping my projects, self evaluating and even setting goals! i have learned so many skills this time around. most are skills i am just learning.. i have improved my relationship with my children and my lover. but im not completing my projects. i spent 4 hours drawing to scale a gallery wall i want to create that includes photos and hand painted signs. i taped my plan on the “gallery wall” and havent touched it since. its been over a month.

what now?

please give me some insight…

Replies

I have the exact same problem. Sometimes I have been seating on a gold mine and do nothing with it until the opportunity is gone.

I am working on being more consistent about taking care of myself.

Sometimes I am functioning well and try to do the best I can. I try to make up for what I couldn’t do before, like now I am paying off the debts I got while I was down in the dumps and not making money because of my depression and anxiety.

Now I am working fine but I haven’t practiced yoga for about four years. Sometimes all of a sudden I forget going to work, or I go the wrong day and time to the wrong place or things like that, but all we can do about it is to pick up the pieces and keep putting ourselves together.

Posted by najn on Mar 25, 2014 at 11:11am

Thank you najn for taking the time to reply… its means alot that you shared your experience!  I am actually disappointed with the lack of responses.  I was hoping for more insight from other people struggling like myself. I have tried so hard to manage my adhd with little growth. Diagnosis,  education,  medication,  failed attempts at schedules and now I’m turning to others.

I just can’t seem to create a system… I mean I get up everyday after my fiancee practically drags me out of bed.  I get my kids dressed while he cooks breakfast,  I put one child on the bus and take the other to school and then I’m left to my own devices for 3 hours.  I do not accomplish much in this time frame.  Some days I will drag things out to attack a project and by the time I have everything laided out its time to pick up my youngest from preschool. Then her and I come home and do nothing productive. I sometimes forget to fix lunch and only realize I have forgotten when she is having a meltdown… It’s so disappointing.  Everyday I wake up high such high hopes for the day and never accomplish much. I just want to be better,  better for my kids, better for my fiance and most importantly better for me.

Posted by ScrambledEggBrain on Mar 25, 2014 at 8:50pm

Hi Scrambled,

I think I know why there have not been a large number of responses so far. You have been doing all the right things and it is tricky to give a specific response to the general frustration. The ‘what now? ” is not simple. Moreover the people on these lists all seem to avoid making suggestions unless they are going to be helpful.
Your question, “what now?” Is powerful and has a large number of possible responses of a wide ranging nature. You’ve given us a challenge..

‘What now?” is a big question so I am going to suggest a small answer.

It would help you to do more of what you are good at doing and less of what is frustrating. One trait of ADHD is that if you are not interested in a project it is very difficult to attend to it. Ironically, you can be very interested in a vast, creative project but it may become very quickly too vast. I suspect that very small wins such as small adjustments in schedule, diet, weekend activity etc. can help you climb out. The system you crave can be built one brick at a time.

I can’t say for certain what part of your day can most easily be made better but I suggest that you pick something that’s already pretty good and make it better. leave the heavy lifting for later.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach on Mar 25, 2014 at 10:47pm

Hi, I can feel your pain. I have an idea. You said you get the kids off to school and then you have free time. I too have free time and it seems the more free time I have the worse I am.  I am really trying to create a schedule for myself, but cannot seem to get it to work, unless I have someone waiting for me. So maybe if you break your day down into small parts and don’t be so hard on yourself. Right now it’s probably more important to keep your wits together than let what others think of as productivity win.  Celebrate what you do right. Right now, take baby steps toward accomplishing little things, maybe like having lunch ready for your little one for five days in a row. And maybe include a walk during your downtime. That is a kind of therapy too, not too hard, and easily controlled and you are out anyway. Don’t worry about bumping into people you know. That’s all I can think of. Now I feel like I HAVE to walk tomorrow. Thanks, I hope you feel better.

Posted by waytogo on Mar 26, 2014 at 4:48am

Hi Scrambled,
I signed onto this site today so that I could read about others who are also suffering like me with daily organization of simple things in life.  I guess I should say “simple things in life for peope who are not afflicted with ADD.”  Your post is perfect for me today and I also have the many of the problems that you have with keeping a schedule.  (Just mine is different tasks daily - one of them would be to just get to work on time and to have a lunch made - which means I have to have food in the house to make the lunch).  I was diagnosed 5 years ago with ADD at age 49.  I have tried many ways to organize my life in all areas.  I have written lists to organize my whole week into increments, I have tried to organize my day/week/life.  I made a schedule of doing housework to keep the house clean/organized somewhat. MY problem is I can’t seem to stick to the list or follow the list from lack of motivation AND. I lose all my lists or completely forget that I made them.  Like, you, I have also worked hard at trying to get my life organized. My brain needs structure so I structure my life on paper and can SEE what I need to do but completion or action is left undone. And when I say UNDONE, I really mean that.  Lately I have just thrown in the towel, and have given up.  This has lead to me feeling like a failure.  Your post and the reponses helped me alot today to realize I am not alone with this.  Most of my problem comes from the inactivity to do anything which I know is ADD/depression.  This has finally come to a head WITH serious stuff left undone.  For example, IRS stuff, Mortgage stuff, NY State tax stuff, financial problems.  I am on meds for ADD and depression (lexapro, wellbutrin, and sometimes ritalin).  I also am divorced and work full time.  As far as work, I do have a Master’s Degree in Education, but like many others I have not achieved success at work.  I work as a Teacher’s Assistant as I cannot handle the work load when teaching. Since I started this post, my daugher who is 27 years old (who also has ADD) just called me on the phone.  I told her all of this and she said that SHE will help me.  SO< my plan is to make another list from all of my other lists, and she said that she will help me to accomplish this!!!!!!  She also, just lost her job and is living with me full-time since March 1st.  WOW.  Anyway, she’s going to help me to get a few things done, so I guess this has to be my START today.  Anyway, I have hit a bit of a bottom with this so I guess the only way to go is UP.  Asking for help is what I needed to do.  So, this gave me a bit of hope.  Just finished my tears, and so here I go again!!!!!!!!!!!  smile

Posted by freetobe on Mar 30, 2014 at 8:58pm

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