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Couples With One ADHD Partner

closing doors / turning off lights

I get so furstrated on having to walking behind my wife and close doors, turn off lights, put things away. I try to understand her ADHD but is t possible to make any difference by pointing these things out or should I just except them as the way she is?


I can’t help you with doors, but light timers/motion detector sensors may be your best bet with the lights.

Posted by Dr. Eric on Jul 08, 2014 at 4:22pm

Yeah, no, you are totally correct in your question.  Has it worked so far?  There is your answer.  Your frustration is based on your own personal expectation of your spouse that they should be different, that they should comply with how you want thing because that is what YOU want.  So here goes that expectation colliding into the reality of the ADHD brain and you have disappointment, frustration, anger, take your pick.

Honestly if this is the least of your frustrations you are lucky lucky lucky.

Posted by YellaRyan on Jul 09, 2014 at 12:17am

Once again—far as I know this is not an ADHD only problem. Lots of people aren’t in the habit of turning off lights, etc when they leave a room.

If it bugs you that much (is this the only issue you’re…forgive me…OCD-ish about?) how about installing motion detection switches, or timers, or light bulbs that don’t eat up as much power as incandescent light bulbs. Is your house dark without any lights on, or is there plenty of natural light?

Is turning lights off the hill you want to die on, or is this just the tip of the iceberg?

Posted by JavaMonster on Jul 12, 2014 at 4:15am

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