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Parents of ADHD Children

confused and exhausted

How should I discipline my adhd son, when I don’t want him to grow to use adhd as an excuse for all of his behavior issues? What do you do when both parents aren’t in sync with parenting him the same way? His dad believes he acts the way he does because he thinks I (mom) baby him, he doesn’t really try to understand the difference of an adhd child, but when he get irritated by out son he yells at him and say did you take your medicine because you need something, how do i handle this? Dad is not very understanding of our son issues, and doesn’t really involve himself in the daily struggles i have with my son.

Replies

I highly suggest that you speak to a family counselor with your husband so he can grow up and stop being closed minded to your sons needs. You have to give your son a reason to be good incentives something to look forward to. Video games movie night allowance computer time etc.  my sons father is the se way blaming me for the reason my son acts out saying I baby him too much. Everyone has their own way of parenting but with a child with ADHD like your son you need to be on the same page and your husband apparently isn’t and it will only make things worse and nothing will improve

Posted by Anthony18Mommy on Feb 09, 2014 at 9:29am

Because ADHD is inheritable one of the parents is likely to exhibit ADHD symptoms.  If your husband has ADHD like symtoms and he has found a way to manage ADHD he may believe that others can do the same as well.

Look for some video clips on ADHD, Jonathan Mooney has video’s on YouTube that can provide some insight into some of the behaviors associated with ADHD.

Parenting a child with ADHD is not easy and takes a great deal of patience and imagination.

Posted by coachwithheart on Feb 09, 2014 at 9:33am

Thanks for the advice!...

Posted by amamasboy on Feb 09, 2014 at 11:48am

Does you husband really understand ADHD? I found in my family I was the one always doing the reading etc. and not my husband.  He needed to come to some of the appointments so he could hear it all from the doctor.  I can tell him all the info - but it wasn’t until he heard it from “a third party” or professional that he really started believing it.

We did family counselling and that helped too.

And, as I always recommend - both of you should sit down and watch the YouTube video by Dr. Russell Barkley titled “Essential Ideas for Parents”.  I think it’s posted here on this page - look at the lower right-hand side.  Otherwise just google the video.  It is long but well worth watching !!

Posted by staypositive on Feb 09, 2014 at 7:02pm

Same here, I’m the one doing all the research and trying to make things run a little smoother for my son and my family, my husband doesn’t really take it serious, he thinks i put to much into it, he thinks my son can control his actions, and that he just act that way, to get what he wants (so not true) I have daily talks with my son and it’s a struggle for him at home and school. I will be looking into family counseling, hopefully they can get him to understand ADHD, and help us work together. Thanks again, (getting ready to view the you-tube video).

Posted by amamasboy on Feb 09, 2014 at 7:47pm

I agree with watching dr barkley- especially if he wont go to appts with you. My husband started out the same way and many yrs later he has come a long way in understanding our sons actions were a result of his brain disorder not intentional manipulative behavior.

That being said they still need discipline. Our method is the 1-2-3 method. Our son is passionate about his electronics (video games,  Ipod, computer). When he does something that breaks a rule we say thats 1, if he doesnt stop what hes doing - thats 2 and he gets a reminder that if he gets to 3 he loses all electronics for 1 hour- if he gets to 3 he has to hand me his ipod and computer etc. Most importantly- keep your voice calm -do not yell or put any emotion into it at all.

I used to do things like lose electronics for a dAy but he used to get in trouble so much that before you knew it he would lose them for a week and that would be by lunch time.

Good luck-it is such a hard and exhausting journey- I totally understand!

Posted by Udderlycrazy on Feb 09, 2014 at 7:56pm

The one discipline that worked for our daughter was naughty corner. It is like 1 2 3 in that you give a warning before enforcing discipline. I suspect that is the step frustrated parents skip. Or give too many warnings. Consistency is really important. So you do it the same way every single time it feels fair, he’ll know what’s coming and so you won’t have meltdowns.

Posted by YellaRyan on Feb 10, 2014 at 12:02am

I’m so sorry to hear your story mostly because I can relate all too well!  I started doing research on my own and asking him to read it with me.  It helped if the information didn’t come from me but another source.

Posted by Tracy47 on Feb 12, 2014 at 11:19pm

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