I completely know the feeling of being confused, overwhelmed, completely alone and exhausted. My 7 year old has always been a very difficult child meltdowns happened several times a day, he’s had a really hard time in school, after getting tested he was diagnosed with ADHD along with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). After talking to our pediatrician and LOTS of research my husband and I decided to put him on medication to help with his ADHD, along with a healthy diet, strict routine/schedule (which is a must for him, he needs to know ahead of time what’s expected of him), 10-12 hours asleep a night, and just paying attention to his moods, he doesn’t do well in a loud environment, so knowing that overstimulation will trigger meltdowns, I can plan quiet time through out the day.  It’s been a year since he was diagnosed and we have good days and bad (but the good days are starting to outweigh the bad) Just know you’re not alone and venting is healthy. ((hugs to you))

I read your post and I can relate.  Raising children is tough and there are no easy answers.  We can beat ourselves over the head or tell ourselves we do the best we can.  Just the fact that we question our parenting makes us caring parents who are concerned about our children’s well being.

The medication issue is a tough one.  My son wasn’t diagnosed until he was 12 (that was a big guilt issue for me).  It has taken us almost one year to make the decision to let him try medication. 

I think that all moms have their times when they feel tapped out.  It isn’t easy having a child -let alone one who is ADHD.  You won’t always be able to keep your cool but who can? 

And, ADHD or not, I’m quite sure your children aren’t the worst behaved kids around.  There are days when it SEEMS like everyone else is doing a better job of parenting - but you have to know that is a feeling not a fact. 

Sounds like you are being very hard on yourself.  Give yourself a break - literally.  Take some time for yourself.  Do something you enjoy. 

I hope you feel better.

Trust me…I know what you are going through. My son was diagnosed with mild ADHD over a year ago. He’s 9yrs old. Every day is a struggle. Everything from getting ready for school to the neverending battle of homework is just getting so exhausting. We haven’t gone the way of meds yet, but I’m thinking we need to do something. He’s in 4th grade and is somewhat overwhelmed by the workload. He has an I&RS; plan at school. Though it’s useless. I honestly get no help from either of his 2 teachers. I recently emailed them and told them that he’s seeming overwhelmed and that he’s been forgetting books and assignments at school. Their response was that “he’s pushing my buttons.” And that they are asking him if he has everything he needs. He says yes, so their involvement is done. They’ve done their part. They say he’s choosing to not have his books or assignments! Gotta love the help they are offering! (yes, I’m being sarcastic!). Academically he’s doing fine, but for him it’s just such a constant struggle to be where he’s at. And yes, on a daily basis I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I’m waiting for a call back from his doctor to discuss meds. This definitely is not the answer I want for him, but if it helps him, then so be it. And I’m considering having a 504 put in place for him. I’m just very confused at this point. I’m hoping his dr. can help me figure things out. Sorry to rant!

I remember those feelings that you are experiencing. I still have them at times. I’ve cried a lot. Your child does not need a better parent. I used to think that too. You do need to take some time for yourself. I know it is easier said than done, but it has helped me.

ADHD is overwhelming for everyone in the family not only the child who has it. There is a really good book called “Nurturing Heart Approach.” The strategies in the book were so helpful to me. I also read “The Spirited Child” and a whole host of other books. Just reading about others experiences helped me to deal with my own feelings.

My son goes to therapy once a week and my husband and I see a different therapist every other week. This does take a toll on everyone. My oldest son sometimes doesn’t understand why his little brother cries for everything or why he yells and gets in trouble at school. We have had to educate one another on ADHD so that we can better handle it.

I have had days when I loose it and I feel like I just can’t do it anymore but then I remember that if I don’t help him who will? That gives me the strength to keep going. I have to say I have learned a lot from my ADHD child such as patience, unconditional love, strength, perseverance, and joy. On those good days I feel on top of the world and I know that one day he will look at me and thank his family for being there for him.

Know that it is okay to cry and feel overwhelmed but you need to make sure you take care of yourself and ask for help. I had to learn to lean on my spouse and oldest child. It has made a big difference in how we all interact.

Good luck!