I know how you feel. My son. Was like that in HS and has reported doing so in college.

Here is what I noticed: the work was usually known about long before the deadline but because is was not something he wanted to do it was put off.

As the deadline approched it got harder to engage in doing the work untill the deadlimed loomed so large that the fear of failure made it impossible to avoid.

At this point there were no meds in the system to enable him to function efficiantly and what should have taken an hour or 2 took 3 or 4 times that and was not polished but slap-dash.

The next day he was clearly sleep deprived and performed poorly or crashed when he needed to do more homework.

Sound familliar?

Typical executive function disorder. Possible difficulty in determining the passage of time.

New research seems to indicate that the medication may need to be active for a longer time period. ie. The length of the work day. With the amount of work these kids (adults too) are responsible for maybe 7:00 am to 9:00 or 10:00 pm is the target window.

We started with an afternoon dose of short acting Ritalin to great effect from 3:00 to 7:00 but after that. Whew! Unfortunately unless I was on top of him to do his work those hours he was happy to play games and waste time with other things.

I have always stayed up late to do things I was interested in. And probably things I didn’t. But I could see my effeciency plummet.

I think Dr. Parker may be on to something.

http://addsherpa.com/meet-the-experts/dr-charles-parker/1590-2/

Good luck
Augie

Too familiar. This Project took him from 9am to 2:45am this morning. Today when he gets home after HS sports I am not sure how he will possibly be able to function. I am quite certain it will be another long night. I have never heard of “typical executive function disorder”. I will look into this. I am simply lost. I do not have anyone around me with a child with ADD or whatever it is. I truly feel isolated.

I totally understand where you are coming from and my son will enter into high school next year. I will agree with the short acting Ritalin my son takes a 10mg dose at 4pm but if not for that dose i don’t know how anyone would live here. he is hyperactive and is angry when not on meds. he takes concerta 36mg in morning. if not for Ritalin there would be no work after school. but we cant let the med window close because there will be no work done! being tired amplifies his behavior also. and we have a small window to get him to bed before his hunger kicks in…then he wants to eat the house! lol Good luck!
Linda

I appreciate all the feedback. Does anyone go to support groups? I feel like I need to learn how to help him and myself on how to handle the situation. This is putting a big toll on both of us.

You would be surprised at how many groups there are. Where do you live. I can point you to what I can find. I have a large resource directory at http://addsherpa.com/resources/

I have a ton more to add and recategorize.

Augie

Norfolk VA close to VA Beach

I can relate to these problems.  I have a son in High School and it is a struggle for us both.  A few tips that seem to work for us:

1.  Organization - we use a seperate binder for each class.  each binder has paper, dividers and a folder.  The folder is sued for the current work so they don’t have to llok for things before they start to study.

2.  Keep and extra set of books at home.  We had problems remembering to bring home the books.  So, he just brings home his binders and there is no excuse not to have what is needed for homework.

3.  On heavy homework nights, a small does of Ritalin helps.  Also, my son likes to exercise, so we take short exercise breaks.

4.  Regaridng not tunring in homework that is completed.  We tried putting it in the folder in his individual binder and putting a stickie note on it - Din not work.  So, we have an agreement with his teachers that he can e-mail any homework to the teacher.  So, he compeltes his homework and e-mails if right away.  It is in on time and he doesnot have to remember it the next day.  Works great since they can even scan in math homework.

5.  Build a strong relationship with your child’s case manager/resource teacher.  When all esle fails, I e-mail her for an extension on the assignment - they know these kids just have a hard time some nights.

I hope these tips help.  I would love any other tips anyone else has on getting homework done.

Thank you!
We actually do email work but only when it is already missing.
Our biggest struggle now is when he gets home he is so tired he then takes hours and hours to do the simplest HW. So I need to look into the time release after school on his medicine.
Thanks for the tips!!!

My son is only 10 but his story is the same - spends a lot of time on work but has many late or missing assignments.  I found a great book that helped me find ways to organize him and it worked.  I do go the extra mile (or several miles) and double check that everything is where it needs to be and then I initial in his assignment book so the teachers also know that I’ve seen the work.  The book is called “How to Organize the Disorganized Child”  It’s really helpful.  Good luck.

Thank you! I will get the book.

Another long evening. We had a function to attend and arrived home by 8:15 pm. It is now 1:18 am and he is now going to sleep after taking 2.5 hrs on a 10 question work sheet HW. Then he took a 1.5 hr shower. And then picking out clothers for tomorrow. He gets so emotional when I reach my breaking point and feels I am always upset with him. But I am constantly telling him how intelligent and athletic he is but he does not seem to hear these compliments but rather focuses on when I am upset with him. He has very low self esteem. I always give him time to relax during dinner and before having to start HW as well. This schedule is not hard on me but I know he has to be exhausted. What to do?

Same thing with our 25yr old daughter..who eventually found the strategies to overcome her obstacles. And although she’s still a procrastinator, she’s completing one last semester for a Masters in sports medicine…so not ALL is lost, good and faithful parents-they eventually discover their own tools for success! Our 15yr old daughter, we’ve had less success finding a medication that works for her and even less success finding a doctor who’s willing to take the time to help us. Then our daughter decides she just doesn’t need to take her medication afterall..(sigh) Having reduction in the amount of homework, worked well for awhile too, It’s incredibly frustrating but when they get to that trough and refuse to drink,  there’s nothing you can do at that point.

Oh, Trying, hang in there.  I hate to say this, but sometimes I ask my son if he needs help on a massive homework night.  He always says ‘No’, but if I’m in the immediate or very close area to where he’s trying to finish something, he may see that I’m right there folding clothes, or doing the dishes, etc…, and he inevitably asks me a question or two, just to get started.  Your son sounds like my son used to, in that he is never able to get started, but maybe you can sit at the kitchen table reading the paper while he’s also sitting at the kitchen table trying to finish a worksheet or something.  I don’t help unless he asks for it then.  I do notice a difference in my son’s ability to get started, then to follow through, if I’m in the immediate area.  Funny, but yes I agree about ‘Executive Functions’.  Google the phrase, and be amazed.  Have some kleenex handy, because it may tell you what you already know.  You sound like you’re overwhelmed, too.  There are many resources like I’ve read above, and do lots of free online research as well.  You don’t mention a school IEP or 504 plan.  Have you heard of these?  I encourage you to contact your school district and find out about them, and what FREE resources are available for your son.  Administrators don’t always ‘offer’ help, but you can’t handle this on your own. Structure, structure, structure to your son’s typical before-and-after school day will help him with knowing what upcoming tasks are due, and make him feel accountable or responsible for trying to find out what strategies work for him.  As our kids mature, they feel out of control with their ADD/ADHD.  Try to find little ways to incorporate his ideas into successful routines.  Positive feedback from teachers will also help make the kids WANT to finish some homework maybe, in a more timely manner.  That’s where an IEP or 504 may come into play.  Good Luck, and take care of yourself, too!

WhoAreYou4
Thank you for you are so right. I am beyond overwhelmed. I have not informed the school about his meds for he just began to take them a few months ago. They are not helping at all. I am so afraid they will treat him differently and not in a positive way. Am I wrong? Am I doing him more harm then good?

Augie and WhoAreYou4,
I just read this article http://www.chrisdendy.com/executive.htm
And this is exactly my 16 yr old in more ways than not. I am shocked. Who should I approach in the school for his needs? His counselor?

That would be where I’d start.  And I stress ‘start’.  Call a meeting with the counselor, and go in ‘armed’ with your research and a list of questions.  If your child is in the public school system in the U.S., there are ‘free’ resources and people most likely in your surrounding school district area whose sole purpose is to help your son be a more successful student.  The counselor should already know about IEP’s and 504’s.  Be prepared to come across some resistance to these.  Not that the support people don’t like them, but I’ve found it’s the teachers that feel like it’s just one more thing on their already-filled daily plate to track or do.  I’m sure you’ve seen and heard in magazines, newspapers, and TV shows that ADD and ADHD is so much more prevalent nowadays than in even recent years past.  Teachers are updated on state mandated ‘must-do’s’, and it is still against federal law as well to not provide necessary services to all learning disabled and handicapped students.  It’s amazing what you can find out just by asking.  I think that along with the meds, the support you will gain from your school district to help your son will make such a difference.  Don’t expect the transformation to happen overnight, but it might be more of a series of tweaks and changes over time to what will ultimately work for you and your son.  If you subscribe to ADDConnect, read the blogs and news articles for helpful information, and take it day by day.  The most important parts of this journey, should you accept it (I sound like Star Trek!), is to involve your son and to also be super diligent in monitoring whether support personnel you depend on as well as his teachers actually do what they say they will do.  Constant monitoring is a lot less or a burden, believe me.  They should not treat him any differently at all.  You’ll be surprised how many kids are on meds., and when you approach your school guidance counselor for that initial meeting, it’ll be no big deal for them.  I found there was no change, positive or negative, in how anyone treated my son after we ultimately settled on a 504.  They just don’t mention it, they keep it confidential.  I think they have to.  Do more research on Executive Functions.  Find websites that give helpful solutions.  My son has had a 504 for 4 years, and will be a freshman in high school next year.  Don’t worry that you’re a ‘newbie’, but the accommodations that will be in place for your son will make his self-esteem soar, hopefully!  You being an involved parent is the best thing you can do for your son, and NO, you aren’t doing him harm!  Don’t second guess yourself, but release the stigmas that you may think are out there.  Hopefully you will find that your anxiety and apprehension about approaching anyone for help is not needed!  Be an advocate for your son’s support and build a good repoire with the teachers and counselors and social workers in your district!  I also found these relationships to be crucial to success!  Good Luck, I will be praying for you!

With 2 ADD daughters going through the public school system, I can tell you that it won’t be as easy as having a 504 (perhaps an IEP may get more consistent teacher support but if your child is meeting state standards in all their subjects, they won’t qualify for an IEP). We’ve had a few teachers somewhat follow our daughters’ 504 accommodations, but most will let it slide if you allow it to. Yes, teachers have a great deal on their plate and will tell you that “your child isn’t the only one who needs accommodations”-undoubtedly quite true.  But most parents who are involved and willing to fight for your kid will find that it takes a great deal of work and effort. So you have to be the squeaky wheel unfortunately, and be your child’s advocate. Yes, its exhausting, but most parents will tell you that it’s necessary to stay on top of the 504 stipulations and make sure everything is followed. (unless of course you hire an educational advocate to do that for you-certainly not something most parents can afford).  I’ve never expected our children’s school or teachers to ‘do all the work’ in keeping our girls academically accommodated—I stayed involved and supportive throughout this process but often found myself going at it alone and teachers not supporting me in my efforts to help my children..

Thank you!!!

For other parents out there who feel alone and isolated like I did. Please note you are not alone. These blogs are so helpful. I have received wonderful advice and some identical stories.
Thank you much to all again!!!