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Parents of ADHD Children

my 4 year old HELP!

Hi! I have a daughter that is 4 years old… I don’t know or can’t tell whether she has adhd or if its just a stage she’s going through?? She has tempers and tantrums if she doesn’t get her way and she does thing even though she knows she will get in trouble for it. Its been tough disciplining her because it just seems no matter what we so she will just forget and do it again. Its been real stressful even as a young mom and i have a son who is 5 and doesn’t act up like that at all… so idk what to do… i heard that doctors cant diagnose till they are in school??


I feel for you… Maybe this will help… My son was 3 when diagnosed with ADHD.  I had always had a feeling because he’s very impulsive, loud, couldn’t settle down, etc… It wasn’t until he entered a preschool that it became worse.  He was aggressive, not able to focus, academically behind because he couldn’t focus.  So when I walked into his classroom and saw the way he was, I physically picked him up, carried him out.. and 3 hours later we were at pedi.  She directed me to a behavior psychologist who inturn did an evaluation and it did turn out to be ADHD.  I changed his school and put him on medication and WOW what a difference.  He’s doing great in school (a little behind but much better than before) .  We definitely have more good days than bad.  But I was definitely in your shoes, everytime I’d punish him, he’d laugh or not be fazed by it.  I felt I was punishing for nothing!!!  I hope you find this helpful.. and I wish you all the best!

Posted by shams76 on Dec 19, 2013 at 10:01pm

My son is 4 years old and he was diagnosed with ADHD when he turned 4 this year on his birthday month. I deal with the same things and although you may not want to, medicating him took the burden off the teachers. I can handle my son when he’s not medicated. I felt bad that the teachers and his after care had to deal with his impulsive behavior. It’s not his fault. He just has a disorder and needs to be taught how to react. He was diagnosed before he started school. Be prepared to try different medications. Observe the behavior. Seems like his school helped me the most with his medications, because he’d act different with myself. He’s been throguh retilin, and noww he’s on vyvanse. Just started yesterday. For his impulsive behavaior, intuniv seemed to work, but i did my own experiment and stopped giving it to him to see if i can do without the non stimulant. The stimulant seems to work. It’s process to get it right and I requested to have one last for 12 hours. That covers school and after care. We found out the last medication was wearing off and the after care didnt get to see the effects of the stimulant. He’s been through guafacine…didnt work…went to a longer lasting non stimulant intuniv (same as guafacine but longer lasting…seems to help with impulsive behavior…  Then we did methylpenidate…then metadate cd… We would try these meds for a month. I hope Vyvanse goes well. I researched some of the reviews. He takes 30mg. It’s a process I’m willing to go through. Also the teachers have to observe to see as he gets older, if it wears off, then the doctor may have to up the dosage.  I have him in play therapy. I’m adding a developmental pediatrician.

Posted by vabronxboogie on Dec 19, 2013 at 10:16pm

Well you can certainly go online and find questionnaires about ADHD and see how she lines up. But one of the differences between ADHD and a phase is, does it happen across all activities. So, just take the inability to follow directions, does this happen when helping with chores AND playing a favorite game. Inability to sit still or if she’s a talker inability to be quiet in situations both that she likes and dislikes.

If it were a phase she would be able to control herself in some situations. Certainly even if you choose to do nothing regarding diagnosis now you will find out. Either she’ll mature or the behavior will persist. Also, do any blood relatives have the condition? 

It is true that some pediatricians are reluctant to diagnose until kids are school age. Our pediatrician was this way and it took the threat of our daughter being held back in k and 1st for him to finally give us a referral to a psychiatrist even though we knew from about 3.

Posted by YellaRyan on Dec 19, 2013 at 10:23pm

What kind of effects do these medications have?? I’m always fearful about meds. So can it be a goof idea top talk to the doctor to see about any diagnosis?? Her dad has/had it also can it be passed??

Posted by Perez on Dec 19, 2013 at 10:36pm

That’s the thing. I have taken on line assessments and some match and some don’t… she can do chores and help with cooking. She can sit down and watch a video fine. Even long car rides are fine.. it mostly just seems when’s she’s bored or not getting enough attention.. she’s just a lot different from her brother in the way they act and her tantrums can be bad..that’s why I’m just confused. She can get very angry and frustrated easily

Posted by Perez on Dec 19, 2013 at 10:40pm

Hi Perez! What you are describing is exactly why there are children with ADHD who are undiagnosed. Each individual with ADHD has a few things that they can focus great on.

1) things that provide a lot of sensory input, like video games and action-packed movies.

2) things that they are personally very interested in. Here’s a great article over on that explains the phenomenon of the clinically distracted being able to focus intently at certain times.

There’s only one way to know for sure if your daughter has ADHD and that’s to have her evaluated by a specialist in the field.

ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Dec 20, 2013 at 5:59pm

Now that I have another child to compare my daughter to, I see now that my daughter had ADHD symptoms as 2yo.  It is possible.  My daughter couldn’t remember anything.  Couldn’t complete simple instructions because she got distracted.  So different than my son at the same age.
Don’t be afraid of meds.  You may have to experiment to find the right ones but they can change her life and yours.  I consider my daughter’s meds a blessing and she would rather have them than not.

Posted by mamallamaG on Dec 30, 2013 at 11:11am

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