Couples With One ADHD Partner
my non add spouse is angry and beginning to lose it
I love my husband and I have ADD. After 10 years finally found out about genetic mutation - body cant make neurotransmitter more than a trickle. I got very stupid. however, in the last year, was prescribed supplements and finally I am back.
So Im looking at ten years of wreckage in our relationship in which my husband has had to take things over. I have started to do a few: back taxes, remodel project, clean out mess of disprganization.
Hes burned out, says he loves me, hes so tired from overworking and now he explodes over small things.
Tells me I dont care or Im not listening; makes remarks like ‘that wont work’,
A confusing train of remarks—> he got furious that I write in books, called me selfish, told me I was throwing things after I dropped a spoon on the floor, told me that I hit him on the knee when he was sitting next to me-I was getting up &pushed; down on couch maybe that’s it, then said he was afraid to be in the house with me (like he cant hold both my wrists in one hand, now hes not talking to me.
He really is overloaded since I couldnt work.
I emailed him my side of what happened and why it bothered me so much - he says Im raving but he understood I was really mad, and why am I like this.
Then begs me to consider that I am doing things to upset him ( as usual, wrong again)
says he wants to work it out- but seems to me that in his heart he 1) doesnt think add is real, b) thinks I can control it by doing something (on max meds now, have 2 docs) and c) admits he gets mad too fast d) Is always saying I dont want to fight with you when I disagree with him. He has never been able to imagine himself as another person, so understanding is nil
any advice about helping him realize that a lifetime of being terrorized and feeling like a fake while working ten times harder than coworkers, dreading anger (emotional abuse by parents), and slowly figuring things out has led to to hell where I am again being emotionally aboused.
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