Couples With One ADHD Partner
pls help husband has no money again to contribute to household
My husband’s job reduced his salary over a year ago and he did not tell me. We split joint account and contribute a percentage of our incomes to the acct to cover our expenses. He earns a lot less so his amount is less. This system was suggested by our family counselor bc he has been so inconsistent with financial contributions the past decade plus of our marriage. He promises to pay for nanny or rent and then time comes and he expects me to pick up and pay his share because once again :he cant” due to circumstances out of his control or his lack of earnings and I always did. Fast forward we have two young boys and buy a house and I put down a six figure down payment and he promises to pay 60% of mortgage when due. Guess what when it is due his job reduced him to no salary and comission only and he hasno comissions apparently past six plus months so he has no money for joint account expenses like kids school nanny groceries for our kids since i work full time all bills even his own his car k nsurance which is on mine now so i had to pay his from savings to keep my car ins e gas water cable food etc wtc. All gets dumped on me with no notice and no time for me to save and and then he also cant pay his promised 60% of our current mortgage. We would have lost our house! So guess who. is expected to pay all of that now too with no notice. I am now paying $30k plus per year that I had not anticpated. bc he can pay nothing. I am pulling from savings each month bit doing it all. Paying his groceries food house al bills etc. He is going to office each day but earns nothing. I also pay a nanny. He has looked for work past five months and only interviewed once in person and once on ohone and received no offers. I feel he should(and come up with this on hos own accord and want to earn something for lods o f not me) at least nget a part time job on weekends on before or afywr work day at this point. Even earning min. Wage would at least contribute something and at least vover his own needs. He says he doesnt want to quit his job now bc it lookd better to have a job to find one so he cant take some thing during work day. Again he is earning nothing at his job and nothing in near future commissions projected. N He now wants me to give ve him MORE money on TOP…. of picking up his portion of joint living expense…...s for kids and house that he just dumped on…. me AND mortgage .....And car insurance for him and xmas Presents for his family (all items in past he…...... uses his earnings to pay) and causing me to ...drain savings to cover. He wants money now for gas ....for his car cleaners et.c. yet I am floored he would even ask or expect this vs earning something six plus months later now. Min wage if he must. I feel That is not right and not fair I am already completely stressed ...paying his share for all else and using my hard earne….d savings . he could get a min wage job if ...necessary outside of work hours or else and feel ...natural consequences of his actions or lack thereof vs expected it from me on top of ALL else i am forced to pay now.He knowshis expenses and has been witho…ut an income for six plus months now and had plenty of time to plan how to earn something vs once again me….. swoopjng in and paying it all for him when he again drops the ball. Suugestions? Advice? I love him but am floored. I read about loving detachment but it is tough to do.
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