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rough playing with your child

Hello: my 1st grader is being made to sit by himself in class away from the other students. his teacher and principal say he disrupts the class and has a hard time keeping his hands to himself.  me and Christopher watch wrestling all the time on tv and even wrestle together on the frontroom floor. the principal said that probablyis not a good idea and that might be why he plays rough at school and says all further wrestling should be cut out. ANY THOUGHTS ON THIS? cutting out wrestling would be hard for him but if I thought it might help him then we would fing other activities. THANKS RONNIE

Replies

We have similar issues with our 2nd grade boy, diagnosed with ADHD - Hyperactive/Impulsive type.  While we don’t watch wrestling, we have had to limit his access to boxing/wrestling type Wii games (he loves Punchout) as we find it makes him more likely to punch his friends.  I have also asked my husband repeatedly to stop with the wrestling for now.  One thing I’ve learned about ADHD kids is that they don’t recognized the same boundaries “normal” kids do.  So, while you may be able to wrestle with your “normal” kid & he can discern that that is something he does with daddy but not his friends, a child with ADHD doesn’t have the ability to do so.  Our son also has issues with self awareness & doesn’t seem to understand just how hard he hits or punches his peers.  He repeatedly tells us he just “tapped” his friends or gave them a “little” push, and yet they are on the ground crying & he is the one in trouble.  So, my personal opinion is that it is best to just cut out exposure to any kind of activity that may lead to your son hurting his peers until he is mature enough to understand what he is doing.  Strangely enough, we have found that our “all boy” 7-year-old loves doing Rainbow Loom & making Pok√©mon out of Perler Beads, & these activities are so much more calming than video games.  He also plays A LOT of sports, & that is a good outlet, as well.  Horseback riding seems to be especially calming for him.

Posted by Smith4 on Nov 28, 2013 at 5:08am

I agree with the above post. Our son used to do way more hitting when he watched computer games or TV with hitting. We had to change up his screen time habits so now he plays NHL hockey on Xbox and not more physical games.

Posted by staypositive on Nov 28, 2013 at 5:57am

We do not play rough at home, but I do think it sets an example, even when it’s just play. Young kids love to mimic.

My son had a really tormenting bully in 3rd grade. Every time I complained about him hitting my son or throwing him on the floor, the teacher would give me the excuse that she knew the family played rough at home. But this kid wasn’t playing when he was purposefully terrorizing and goating my son. He was malicious. He may have learned to pin someone down, etc while playing rough at home, but he was using those skills for harm.

I think wrestling is a great sport for boys, but when they are middle and high school age.

Anyway, that’s my cautionary 2 cents. grin

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Nov 29, 2013 at 9:00pm

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