Parents of ADHD Children
talking to yourself
I need some help - my 11 year old son has ADD and Aspergers. We go to a psychologist, we are doing all the things recommended in articles (especially ADDitude articles), but we are still struggling with how to get him to stop walking around talking to himself. It is inhibiting making friends.
We’ve worked with him on what to say, how to approach a child, etc and he does ok with that, but when it doesn’t work (the child is uninterested or wants to do something my son doesn’t want to do) he doesn’t know what to do and goes back to what is comfortable. He is completely oblivious to the fact he’s walking in the way of others, ignoring others because he doesn’t hear them because he’s talking to himself, and worst of all - then the child he approached sees it and you see the look (you all know the look I’m talking about) where the kid is thinking “what is wrong with you?”
I guess what I need are suggestions on how to make him more aware of his behavior. He can’t change it unless he becomes aware of it and us calling it to his attention is not helpful at all. We don’t want to criticize him for it and we try to be subtle about it and give him suggestions on what to do (instead of saying “stop talking to yourself), but of course he still feels picked on about it.
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Replies
video tape him and show him how he looks
Have you tried social skills training? Does your son have an OT. The OT can also work with your son to help him learn to interact with others. Here are the basics from a social skills training program my son just attended at the Melmed Center in Scottsdale, Arizona.
When approaching another child, use the acronym FEVER. Face to Face, Eye Contact, Voice, Volume and Tone, Expressions and Gestures, Right Posture/Body Language.
I can also recommend a book entitled, Navigating the social world. I don’t know if you can do everything in the book with your son. There are a lot of complicated exercises, but it does give you insight into what your son is going through.
There is another book. Its a memoir about a mother helping her son, who has Asbergers. It also offers many helpful insights and isn’t hard to read. It is called Eating an Artichoke by Echo Fling.
I hope this information is helpful to you.
Have a great day.
Susan Hejhal
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